Reason No. 47 For My Graying Hair

I'm uncomfortable around swimming pools.  I doubt I'll ever be able to relax and read a magazine while kids are swimming.  I just can't do it. And I'm even more on edge at pool parties. At soirees involving swimming, I won't touch a drop of alcohol and I really loath to leave the water's edge for any reason.  Swim lessons helped me relax some as La Nina is half mermaid these days, but the Magster needs another summer before she is water safe.  

Friday was Maggie's end of the year swim party, hosted by one of her good friends.  So with a good deal of trepidation, I packed the van with our swim suits, a salad for the pot luck, every conceivable floatation device and goggles.  I even put in a change of clothes for me.  We headed over to the house as I reviewed the rules with the girls.  No running on the deck, no dunking people, no flips off the diving board (yes, I need this rule for La Nina), etc.

The party was great.  The kids had a blast.  The weather wasn't cooperative, so none of the moms went swimming, but we stayed right near the pool chatting and munching on salads.  For the most part, the Magster stayed in the shallow end, but watching her swim was like watching an Indiana Jones movie.  It was one daring stunt after another.  She jumped off the side of the pool, walked along the edge of the spa and with her favorite floatie, she ventured into some deep water.  Considering most of the kids her age never left the steps, I didn't want to discourage her, but she was adding gray hair to my head faster than the chocolate chip cookies were adding pounds to my butt.  

After a couple of hours of swimming, a fight broke out between my children.  Maggie was floating on a ball and La Nina wanted the same ball.  There were other balls, but La Nina just had to have the one her sister was using.  Within seconds, it was clear this fight was going nowhere good.  I told La Nina to leave Maggie alone as she was close to the area where she couldn't touch and there were other balls. Like any self-respecting six-year-old, La Nina ignored me and knocked the ball out from under her sister.  Maggie sunk like a stone.  She couldn't touch and it was clear her swimming skills were not strong enough to save her.  

Without thinking, I went into the pool, shoes and all.  I grabbed the Magster and headed to the water's edge.  She was gulping for air and balling her eyes out, but otherwise she was perfectly fine.  As the other moms handed us both towels,  Maggie buried her head in my shoulder and complained about her sister...who I'd already ordered from the pool and told to go get dressed.  Her afternoon was of swimming was over.  

After about two minutes of crying, Maggie pulled back from my shoulder, cocked her head and asked, "Mommy, why didn't you put on your swim suit?  You got real wet."  

As she hopped back into the pool, I huddled deeper into my towel.  Dripping wet jeans clung to my legs, shoes squished on my feet, but I refused to get changed until Maggie was out of the pool and in the house.  She may not have been traumatized, but I was.  The experience confirmed all my worst fears about pools.  Trouble happens in the blink of an eye and you have to be vigilant whenever the kids are near water.

 

As I pulled on my dry sweats and long sleeve tee-shirt, I learned another important lesson. I'll never go to the pool again without a change of clothes for me.  Just in case.

Last Day of Preschool

Maggie wrapped up preschool yesterday by participating in her school's Mini-Indy.  This event involved a decorated bike riding course, a bike parade led by a real, live police man on his motorcycle, bike races and fully stocked snack bar.  

The bike course was set up in a local park that had lots of interwoven paths that were perfect for biking.  Kids were able to decorate their bikes, then ride through a special stands like a bike wash, a mechanic shop and even fill up with gas.  (Prices at their filling station were well under $3 a gallon and all the parents were quite jealous.)  

This event was the culmination of Maggie's preschool.  Their school didn't do a graduation with caps and gowns, it was all about bike riding.  And frankly, the kids enjoyed this more than a formal event.  

Maggie and her friends rode their bikes for ninety minutes and only stopped when her bottom was too sore to stay in the saddle.  She giggled quite a bit, glared at boys who tried to run her over, crashed her bike into riders that blocked her path several times and complained I was slowing her down when I tried to adjust her helmet.    

It's hard to believe that our preschool years are now behind us.  And even harder to believe my baby is starting kindergarten in the fall.  Our journey through preschool started off a bit rough.  We only lasted six weeks in La Nina's first school (a very hoity, toity, academically rigorous institution) but we got better at picking schools as time went by.  And my big lesson learned in preschool:  forget the academics.  Preschools will tell you it matters for kindergarten, and it does a little.  Your kid needs to know how to sit still, use scissors and follow directions for kindergarten.  Not much else.  It's more important to trust your gut when you're picking a preschool. The only thing that really matters is that the preschool is meeting your child's needs and parents know what their kids need.

I'll miss these preschool years.  The little events, the class parties, all the fun and frivolous art projects.  From here on out, fun takes a back seat to learning for both of our girls and I'm a little sad about that.  Kindergartners are so under the gun to learn to read, that fun is pushed aside and in the interest of EDUCATION.  At least both kids had great preschool experiences and I can only hope that leads to more success as they move through their years of schooling.

Top Five Reasons I've Been Neglecting My Book

Dear Future Loyal Readers, 

I need to confess, progress on my first book came to a grinding halt recently.  So, I submit to you, the top five reasons why I'm finding it difficult to write.  

1.)  Three hour weekly commitment to American Idol.  Hey-  it's for the children.  (More Maggie than La Nina.)  I'm not that into the show, but they are.  So, you know what that means.  I need to preview both shows every week to ensure the content appropriate is for them, then the children need adult supervision while watching the show.   So, even with our DVR and fast forwarding through commercials, it takes quite a chunk of time to watch the shows.

2.)  My secret voting for David Cook.  See--voting took lots of strategy.  The Dad would make fun of me if he ever found out I voted for David Cook and Maggie would never forgive me.  (She's an David Archuleta fan.)  So I can only vote from my cell phone while hiding in the bathroom after Maggie's asleep.  It isn't easy.  Trust me. 

3.)  Downloading American Idol songs from iTunes.  It wasn't my fault.  There was a deadline in play here.  The producers removed most of the songs from iTunes Wednesday at midnight.  I had to get those Jason Castro tunes before they were gone.  And Maggie needs her David Archuleta fix.  She just loves him.  In fact, I can get her to do all sorts of things by telling her "David Archuleta does it." 

4.)  Surfing American Idol.com for the kids.  It was Maggie's favorite site.  She liked to watch the David Archuleta videos, the music videos and the group songs. She just couldn't be on such a grown up web site without parental supervision.  SO--it was my motherly duty to help her.  Really, it was.

5.)  My concern for Paula Abdul.  What is wrong with that woman?  She can't complete a sentence.  Is she permanently loopy?  Really, I've searched the net for answers to her problems, but I'm just not sure there's enough help in the world for her.  

Now that the American Idol distraction is behind me, I hope to be back to work first thing tomorrow.  If I could just figure out when the next Amazing Race starts, I'd be completely free to write.

Your humble writer friend

The Piano Girl

Today, Maggie performed her very first piano recital.  She played a three-note waltz as well as "e-i-e-i-o".   She demonstrated her patience, attention and focus during her thirty seconds of fame and we were all very proud.  

Given the choice between dance, drawing and piano, Maggie chose to continue studying piano in the fall, so we can expect more fabulous performances from our budding musician.  

Earthquake In China

Like many China adoptive families, we've been closely  following the news on the devastating aftermath of the earthquake in China.   While our girls are not from the area most impacted by the earthquake, we are certain La Nina's province felt it.  The Magster hails from far South China and it's entirely possible they didn't feel the shaking.  

While I look at pictures of schools flattened by the tremor and parents grieving the children lost in the destruction, I'm so greatly saddened.  These people have lived their entire lives with the One-Child Policy and the children who died were most likely their only child.  The odds of the government allowing them another child is probably low, so they've lost everything: their child, their houses, their hope for care in their old age...everything.  

But parents aren't the only ones grieving.  According to the daily reports sent by Half the Sky, newly orphaned children are now beginning to flow into the SWIs who have little capacity to care for them.  Many of the orphanages in Sichuan were damaged, at least one was destroyed but most of those children were in foster care and survived.  According to the reports, the SWIs are receiving assistance from the government as well as different charitable organizations, but certainly trying to care for injured, grief-stricken children in tents with bottled water and military rations is no easy task.  

I trust the reports from Half the Sky.  I believe their information more than the general media.  I have enough experience with China to know that the journalists are tightly controlled with the Olympics less than three months away and anything on AP, Reuters or any other news source is highly sanitized.  

I debated telling the girls about the earthquake and in the end, I decided to do it.  There was too much risk that La Nina would hear about it at school and I hated the thought of her hearing the news from anyone but me.  Her response was concern for her birth family, which was certainly understandable.  I told her in all likelihood they were fine, which assuming they are still in Anhui province, is true.  The Magster commented "so sad".  And she's right.  It is sad.  

With the publicly projected death toll around 50,000 (and I expect the real number is higher), you have to wonder the impact this tragedy will have on China adoption.  Will the government continue to clamp down on the process or open it up to assist finding the children newly orphaned homes faster?  It's hard to say.  But for all the waiting families, my fingers are crossed that the government will do what is best for everyone.  Lighten up the one child policy in the impacted areas and allow the orphaned children to find new families as soon as possible.    

Updates!

This just in.  La Nina has her first wiggly tooth.  If you see her, she may ask you to give it a wiggle.  Please accommodate her request.  I'm tired of sticking my finger in her mouth.  

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Also breaking new:  There is a fatal flaw in the trampoline purchase.  La Nina can now do front flips.  And today she demonstrated her new skill by doing a front flip into the swimming pool, nearly giving me a heart attack.  Even worse:  She entered the water feet first.  So, darn it, she was successful.  She's been forbidden from doing it again.  

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On the Magster front, with four days of school left before her summer officially begins, the Magster has announced I'm no longer allowed to throw out her art work.  Please note:  I save and date the exceptional pieces in a binder.  However, she feels this is not enough.  Every page must be saved to show her artistry the proper respect.  If I honor this request, I fear our house will be filled before July 1.  

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Saving Gas

The local news is running this single line:  "Gas $8 a gallon."  I've never seen the story, but just the headline terrifies me.  Can you imagine $150 to fill the tank?   Even at $4 a gallon, the cost of filling the tank chokes me every time.  So, I've decided to do something for my budget and the environment all at once.  

Three/four weeks ago, I began walking La Nina to school twice a week.  Her school is about a mile and a half from our house and it takes almost thirty minutes one way to reach her class.  Round trip for me it's about an hour commitment compared to twenty minutes if I jump in the car.   Some days it's impossible to walk, but when we can now, we put on our sneakers and hit the sidewalks.  

It's taken some experimentation to fall into our routine.  Since we began our new tradtion, we've adjusted the time we leave the house, our lunch routine and the route we take.  The Magster is a complication because when she's with me, she makes the two way trip.  She's not bad on the trip to school, but once we leave her sister, the Magster's is so dramatic you'd think she was in the twenty-sixth mile of a marathon.  It got so bad last week, I actually pulled out the stroller.  It's been a decent solution.  She rides the whole way home, but at least she's quiet.

Here's the biggest shocker:  La Nina asks to walk to school every day.  I think she likes the quiet time we have together when we walk.  I find we have these marvelous little conversations while we're walking that we don't have in the car, and I'm more relaxed on the days we walk.  

So, while I may be saving a few bucks on gas, I'm gaining something far more valuable:  true quality time with the girls.  

Happy Mother's Day

In my few years of motherhood, I've learned a few things.  One of them is the meaning of Mother's Day.  See...I have this theory:  the only day that is mother's day is one where I'm laying by a pool, reading, drink in hand and no children in sight.  Otherwise, I'm on duty...Mother's Day or not.  Since I'll be working Mother's Day again this year, I took matters into my own hands. 

Since my mother's day gift to myself was erected in the back yard, the girls spend most every waking hour outdoors bouncing like Tigger.  They are too tired to fight my requests and go to bed or fall asleep wherever (La Nina fell asleep on the floor the other night) by 7pm each night.  

To this I say, Happy Mother's Day to me.  

More Cultural Confusion

La Nina's latest homework assignment is a poster board doll we're supposed to decorate to represent our culture.  It came complete with instructions that parents were to be involved to help the children feel proud of their heritage.   Usually when we're assigned a project like this, I heave a sigh of relief and feel grateful our assignment is so easy.  We can celebrate China and be done with it.   

So, when I started discussing our doll's design with La Nina, she informed me she didn't want to do a China doll.  She said that she was tired of doing everything China and would rather do something different, like California.   My heart sunk.  What is culturally California?  An episode of the Brady Bunch served up to an Eagles or Beach Boy song?  So, I asked some other Moms how they were handling the assignment and here's a sampling of the advice I received.

"Just pick one and go with it," suggested one Mom.  "And don't throw out the doll, you can use it again next year for the Magster if it's good."  (An excellent example of recycling...I'm sure that's good for extra credit on Earth Day.)

"I married a pure blood Irishman, thank goodness," said another.  

"Yeah, I just say we're Irish, but really, I'm only a quarter,"  a third Mom chimed in.   "My daughter's an eighth Irish...after that it gets real confusing."

At what point do we chuck this whole multi-culturalism and declare ourselves Americans?  And why are we so reluctant to do so?  Has it become politically incorrect to be American?  I know most of the world thinks of us as shallow, isolationists with a penchant for global bullying.  I've heard all the jokes about our commitment to only speaking English.  I've watched enough television overseas to know most of the world thinks we're all about Baywatch and little else.  But so what?  We are who we are.   

Which bring me back to our heritage doll.  If La Nina wants to celebrate California on her doll, so be it.  We'll decorate our doll with a bikini top, denim skirt, flip flops and a tan and we'll make her a little sign that says "Proud to be a native." (Which La Nina can claim by being my daughter...I'm a seventh generation native Californian, fourth generation native to the Bay Area.)  And trust me, La Nina is a Californian from the top of her blown dried hair to the tips of her brilliant blue flip flops.  And there's no reason why she should be pigeon-holed into a single culture, when in fact she shares ours.