It's the little things that throw me...

I have blogged and blogged about all the questions that people ask me, that they really shouldn't ask me. But yesterday, I struggled with the simplest question and it surprised me.

At Gymboree, Maggie was running around with the other kids in class. The Magster is very coordinated for her age, so it was no surprise that another Mom asked about me when she started walking. In and of itself, the question is a perfectly legitimate question. In no way is this an intrusive question. But, for me, answering even the most benign questions can be difficult.

The problem: I have no idea when Maggie started walking. She was walking when we met her. However, I didn't want to get into a huge adoption discussion while I was chasing Maggie. And besides, the woman wasn't asking me for Maggie's life story, she just wanted to know how long she had been walking. I answered, she walked around her 1st birthday. The woman answered, she could tell Maggie had walked young watching her. The conversation ended naturally, but it left me thinking.

It is tough, as a parent, when you don't know all the answers. Most parents take knowledge, such as the timing of first steps, for granted. I do with La Nina. I know exactly when and where she walked for the first time. With Maggie it is different. The orphanage told us on her birthday Maggie wasn't walking, but when she came to us she most definitely was. So, somewhere between October 20 and November 14 she took her first steps. It is sad that we missed that milestone, though I will never forget the first time she walked for us. The memory of our first steps is a vivid, very cherished memory.

The question reminded me that my girls had a life before I was in it. Obviously, this is part of the deal with adoption, and I admire my girls for all they endured during the first months of their lives. But it won't make answering questions about the gaps any easier.