On Birthdays

Well, I hit a milestone birthday yesterday. You know one of those birthdays with specialized cards and lots of black. I have been rather ambivalent about the milestone, because frankly, I am more worried about managing two kids and getting Maggie to sleep than I am about aging these days. I am grateful for the many cards and phone calls I received to remind me of my mounting years.

But, the whole thing got me thinking, especially when I had to make a wish and blow out some candles. I couldn't figure out a worthy wish. I felt so overwhelmed with gratitude to have two beautiful, healthy children, a wonderful husband, supportive family and life-long friends, that it seemed wrong to wish for anything more.

At the last milestone birthday, I remember just feeling relief that a very dark decade was ending. In my late twenties, I lost my brother, faced some fairly serious medical issues, was working at a dead end job. I remember praying the next decade would be better. Frankly, there was no where to go but up after my twenties.

At this birthday, I can honestly say the thirties were the best. Did I have some heartbreak? Yes. I lost a job and discovered the legacy childhood cancer left on my life. So, yes, there were challenges in the last decade. But this time the heartbreak brought an incredible lesson: I discovered that every door that closed meant a better door was opening soon. Every disappointment led to something else unexpectedly working out. And for every loss, there was so much more gain. So, this milestone finds me incredibly happy with where I am in life. And my only true wish for this next decade is more of the same.