A Letter to the Parents

The following note was received from the girls' dance studio.

Dear Daddy Deep Pockets:

It's come time for us to mete out more financial torture: It's costume time. That's right, it's time to order costumes for the June recital.

Each child will need a ridiculously expensive costume that is 'to die for' cute and will only be worn for five minutes. You will need to order it now or risk missing the dance class pictures in April. Of course, the class pictures will be an additional expense per child, but there's no need to worry about that expense now. You have plenty of time to pay off your credit card between now and Spring, right?

Also, we promise to distribute costumes during class time. So if you don't weaken and order now, the emotional pain your child will experience by being the only child without a costume will ensure you order in the second, more expensive, penalty round. And let's not forget the expense of therapy. Admit it, you really wouldn't want your child to be the ONLY child without a costume when the order comes in, or would you, Daddy dearest?

By the way, if you buy these costumes, you need to commit to buying a block of seats at her performance or you may not get to see it. Financial details to follow at picture time.

More Financial News: The fall leotards are in. Lilac for your older daughter and pink for the younger is required for their self-esteem.

Finally, if you find this overwhelming, don't worry. We have a new autopay function on our web site and it will allow us to handle all the financial punishments --oops, we mean "transactions"-- easily. I'd say call with questions, but we're rarely available, so just pay up.

Sincerely,

Trumps Dance Academy

PS- If your child quits dance lessons in the next seven months, tough.
PPS- If your child is ill for the performance, tough.
PPPS- If you don't like us, tough. Your child loves us and we have your credit card.