A New Form of Retaliation

One night recently, when the girls were about to get into the shower, La Nina came running into the kitchen screaming with laughter that she'd been "snotted" by her sister.

Snotted? I'd never heard of that before, so I asked for an explanation. La Nina looked at me as if I were dense and said, "Mom, she blew snot on me."

This was disturbing on so many levels. Okay, first, it's just disgusting. Second, La Nina had been about to get into the shower, so wasn't exactly dressed when the alleged incident occurred and finally, and most disturbing, the act had occurred so many times she had a verb to describe it.

As I was absorbing this information, the Magster came running into the kitchen, also screaming laughing that it wasn't her fault. La Nina had provoked her by farting on her.

Now what's a mother to do? Child #1 farts on child #2 and child #2 snots in retaliation. Again, while I was lost in thought as to how to handle this situation, the Magster pointed out that she didn't hit her sister, therefore, had done nothing wrong. She never admitted to actually snotting her sister, but then again, the Magster will deny, deny, deny, no matter how damning the evidence. Let's just say, her sister had proof that indeed a snotting had occurred.

Since there was bodily fluid involved I sent them both to the shower. La Nina really needed a shower and the Magster had most likely been farted on, so she wasn't in much better shape than her sister. Unable to address the issue with a straight face, I dropped the issue for the night. I mean really, how am I supposed to discuss this without crying from laughter?

The next morning, I asked the Magster if she ever snotted her sister. To which, she nodded her head with a gleam in her eye. A satanic gleam. A gleam that said, "oh yeah, and what are you going to do about it, old lady?" To which, I answered, "Never do that to anyone but your sister and only when she farts on you."

To La Nina I said, "Stop farting on your sister or you will get snotted."

This is what parenting has come to in my house. Snotting is fair retaliation for farting. I never thought I'd stoop to this level with daughters. Yet here I am.