Tips for Turning 4!

Turning 4 is big. By following these simple instructions, you can turn 4 and abuse your mother all in one weekend. It doesn't get any better than that.

First, there is the issue of the party. When your birthday is in early March and you live in Northern California, you should not plan to be outside. However, you should badger your mother to hire a jumpy until she relents. Then, the morning of your party, your mother will realize she should have trusted her gut and will cancel the jumpy because the forecast calls for snow. Now, you must cry your eyes out over this development, even though your Mother was up late painting 18 white frames so you and your friends would be busy despite the lack of a jumpy.

Second, there is the issue of bubblegum. When you are turning 4 it is ok to have some bubble gum. Your Mom may even put some in the pinata. But as the kid who gets the honor of opening the pinata, you may be left gumless because other kids at your party will scoop up the gum first. This is very tragic and requires more tears. All your friends will feel so sorry for you, they will give you their gum. Except Mom will force you to chew it in 15 minute increments when your sister is sleeping, because there is no way the Magster can handle gum. This is not a good situation for you or your Mom, so make sure you glare at her throughout the entire designated gum chewing time allotment.

Third, there is the issue of clothing as gifts. When you are turning 4, it is very dull to get clothing as a gift. Your mother will love it, but you will be less than impressed. It's especially frustrating when something is so cute your Mom wants you to try it on and you just want to play with your Little Ponies. You will win this battle, because your Mom will realize there are bigger fish to fry and she's eager to get online and look for that jacket in her size too!

And that just about wraps up turning 4. We're kind of glad this birthday thing only happens once a year.