Why I Hate Umbrellas
I had to go to the library this afternoon to return a book I borrowed a couple of weeks ago. This was no normal book. It was a "Link" book, meaning it was on loan from another library. "Link" is a great service if you're looking for some random books, but it has a draw back. Namely, if the borrowed book is damaged in anyway the fine is $125. Yep, $125.
As the girls and I were heading out the door to return my "Link" book, it started to pour. I thought about waiting for another day to go to the library, but my week is crazy, so it was best just to complete the errand. I wrapped up my precious commodity in a plastic bag and put it in my book bag. I put boots and rain coats on the kids, then I grabbed my purse. Of course, Maggie insisted on taking 'wankie', so my hands were quite full. Suddenly, La Nina couldn't leave the house without an umbrella. Had to have it. Now, on a good day, I find umbrellas cumbersome, but on a day when I have two kids and a book I can not get wet, I find umbrellas impossible. Despite my children's image of me, I'm not an octopus. I tried to explain to La Nina that our hoods would keep us dry, and she acted like I was nuts.
"But Mom, in the rain, you're supposed to take an umbrella," she reasoned.
Finally, after 5 minutes of debate and sworn oaths of good umbrella behavior from my 4 year old, I gave in. Out the door we went, myself, my book, two kids, two umbrellas, a wankie and a purse in a downpour. I warned if there was any monkey business, the umbrellas would not leave the house again, as long as I drew breath. They were unfazed by my threats and danced into the rain like a couple of pixies under protective flower petals. I have to admit, they did look pretty cute for about 30 seconds.
Once we were in the library with wet umbrellas, the trouble started. I collasped both rain covers, and the girls insisted on holding them. As I handed the book to the librarian, I heard a thunk and a giggle that sounded like the Magster. Then I heard another thunk and another giggle that sounded like La Nina. I figured it couldn't be that bad if no one was crying, so I looked around in time to see La Nina wind up and swing her umbrella, like she was trying to hit a home run. Oh...they weren't using the umbrellas on each other, they were smacking the librarians desk with their weapons, spraying water everywhere, including onto my "book" that was sitting just above the spot they were hitting. I scolded them, glared the "mothers' glare", offered the poor librarian an apology and began taking the umbrellas away from the girls.
Essentially, it was two on one at this point. Since she was closer to me, I grabbed Maggie's umbrella first. And her sister, seeing a weakness, smacked Maggie across the back with her umbrella and giggled uncontrollably at the act. It didn't hurt Maggie, but it soaked me, the librarian and a hapless passerby, who didn't look amused. I was so sputtering mad, I couldn't speak, but when I saw her line her sister up as a target for a second time, I managed to wrangle the "bat" away from my little ball player.
Needless to say, that ended our trip to the library. My load was one book lighter, but I was now carrying the umbrellas in my empty book bag, along with Wankie. I had crying child in each hand and I was livid. I think the librarians were smirking behind my back, but I was too ticked off to look around and see. In the end, I only blame myself. I knew umbrellas and kids go together like oil and water. I should have never given in. And trust me, my children will not touch those umbrellas again for a long, long time.
As the girls and I were heading out the door to return my "Link" book, it started to pour. I thought about waiting for another day to go to the library, but my week is crazy, so it was best just to complete the errand. I wrapped up my precious commodity in a plastic bag and put it in my book bag. I put boots and rain coats on the kids, then I grabbed my purse. Of course, Maggie insisted on taking 'wankie', so my hands were quite full. Suddenly, La Nina couldn't leave the house without an umbrella. Had to have it. Now, on a good day, I find umbrellas cumbersome, but on a day when I have two kids and a book I can not get wet, I find umbrellas impossible. Despite my children's image of me, I'm not an octopus. I tried to explain to La Nina that our hoods would keep us dry, and she acted like I was nuts.
"But Mom, in the rain, you're supposed to take an umbrella," she reasoned.
Finally, after 5 minutes of debate and sworn oaths of good umbrella behavior from my 4 year old, I gave in. Out the door we went, myself, my book, two kids, two umbrellas, a wankie and a purse in a downpour. I warned if there was any monkey business, the umbrellas would not leave the house again, as long as I drew breath. They were unfazed by my threats and danced into the rain like a couple of pixies under protective flower petals. I have to admit, they did look pretty cute for about 30 seconds.
Once we were in the library with wet umbrellas, the trouble started. I collasped both rain covers, and the girls insisted on holding them. As I handed the book to the librarian, I heard a thunk and a giggle that sounded like the Magster. Then I heard another thunk and another giggle that sounded like La Nina. I figured it couldn't be that bad if no one was crying, so I looked around in time to see La Nina wind up and swing her umbrella, like she was trying to hit a home run. Oh...they weren't using the umbrellas on each other, they were smacking the librarians desk with their weapons, spraying water everywhere, including onto my "book" that was sitting just above the spot they were hitting. I scolded them, glared the "mothers' glare", offered the poor librarian an apology and began taking the umbrellas away from the girls.
Essentially, it was two on one at this point. Since she was closer to me, I grabbed Maggie's umbrella first. And her sister, seeing a weakness, smacked Maggie across the back with her umbrella and giggled uncontrollably at the act. It didn't hurt Maggie, but it soaked me, the librarian and a hapless passerby, who didn't look amused. I was so sputtering mad, I couldn't speak, but when I saw her line her sister up as a target for a second time, I managed to wrangle the "bat" away from my little ball player.
Needless to say, that ended our trip to the library. My load was one book lighter, but I was now carrying the umbrellas in my empty book bag, along with Wankie. I had crying child in each hand and I was livid. I think the librarians were smirking behind my back, but I was too ticked off to look around and see. In the end, I only blame myself. I knew umbrellas and kids go together like oil and water. I should have never given in. And trust me, my children will not touch those umbrellas again for a long, long time.
posted by One Lucky Mom @ 8:35 PM
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