Monkey Business

For the last few nights, the Dad and I have had a series of business meetings here at the house. Of course, since we have children, they are always present. Tonight, night three of these meetings, the kids patience ran out. The following events transpired during one 15 minute period of a 90 minute meeting.

Maggie went into the bathroom and began screaming "Poo-poo, Mama. Poo-poo." Needless to say, I left the meeting to deal with the issue at hand. After finishing her business, she refused to put her pants on as she left the bathroom. In case you're wondering, this means she balled herself up to the size of a beach ball and howled "Noooooo" everytime I tried to dress her. My options were a child running around in panties, a scene that would sound abusive as I physically forced the pants onto her or a child screaming bloody murder in her room. I took option 1 and returned to the meeting.

La Nina then decided she had to have a book she left in the car. Had. to. have. it. Now. Mom. I'm still trying to catch up to the meeting after the whole bathroon break and gave her permission to go out to the car and get her book. Unbeknownst to me, Maggie followed her. Maggie wasn't gone long when she came back into the kitchen and announced, "It raining." Now, for some reason, we didn't believe her. Perhaps it was her age, or maybe it was the fact that it is June, but all three adults dismissed rain as a possibility. She turned on her heal and left the kitchen.

After about 5 minutes, it dawned on me, the house was quiet. Too quiet. So, I left the meeting again to investigate. The front door was open, it was indeed raining and my kids were both outside. Trouble. A neighbor's van was hovering in the street in front of our house and I could hear laughter coming from it. Big trouble. As I walked out of the house, I realized Maggie had taken her message about the rain to the street literally. She was standing on the sidewalk in her panties, telling my neighbor all about the rain, while her sister was in the van, pretending to drive. My neighbor called to me, her voice thick with amusement, that her son wanted to know why Maggie left the house without her pants in the rain. Grand, a seven-year-old questioning my parenting skills. The real question was why on earth do I think it's possible to conduct business with two kids under 5 in the house?

I rounded up the kids, took them back into the house, deadbolted the door again, and popped in a video. Gee! Why didn't I think of that first?