The Whole Problem with Working

Any time you make a change, it takes a couple of months to work out the kinks in the new process. And really, it's fun being back at work, but there is one thing that is just killing me: The badge. I have to have this friggin' badge to not only get into the office, but sign onto my computer.

Now, not only do I have to get the kids ready for a day without me, get the house ready for a day with the nanny and get myself out the door dressed in something that is not only clean, but professional, I also have to remember this small object that the kids love to take from my purse and carry around. Last time I lost it, I found it under La Nina's bed. Needless to say, I was late that morning. No explanation needed.

I'm convinced some evil single guy without kids created the badge just to torture his co-workers with children. You know the type, Newman from Seinfeld, only a computer programmer. He was probably feeling sorry for himself because his co-worker had to stay home with his/her kid who had a really nasty stomach virus. And we all know how much fun kids with a stomach virus are... "Mommy, my tummy hurts", followed by something that resembles a scene from the Exorcist, only the substance spewing from the child is bright orange and on its landing on your white carpet.

This guy was probably feeling overworked and was seeking revenge when he said, "hmmm...why don't I create a small, brightly colored object that everyone must have to get into the building and sign onto their computer? I'll make it small enough to lose, an attractant to children, then I'll make it really expensive to replace. bru-hahaha. This should put that bon-bon eating mother right over the edge. "

And today, it fell out of my purse as I climbed from the mini-van in a skirt and heels. Gee....perhaps I was off balance because I was carry an oversized purse filled with objects to deal with every conceivable Mommy emergency as well as a small semi-precious jewel known as my badge? Of course, it's a five minute walk from the van to the gate and I didn't discover the badge missing until I got to the gate. Then I had to walk back to the van, where I found the badge laying on the ground on the driver's side, then I track back to the gate. It was a solid 15 minutes of walking in the heat (it was 107 here today, so it was hot this AM) and I was sweating by the time I got into the building. Then in true Texas fashion, I walked into my office, cooled to the temperature of a meat locker. It was the perfect start to a Monday.

And I swear I heard Newman laughing...