Maggie Makes Four!

This journal started off documenting the adoption of our youngest daughter. It now follows the twist and turns of our lives as we raise these two amazing little creatures into the best women they can become.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

30 things I can't do while I'm in the shower

For years now, my showers have been a public event. If I want privacy while showering, I have to go to the gym. In my house, when I step in the warm spray, it's like the kids hear the theme song for "Phineas and Ferb". They come running to see the spectacle. I've tried locking the door. They actually walked into the yard and entered through the slider. They've also staged sit ins outside the locked door. So, I'm hoping to clarify exactly what I can not do while I'm in the shower in order to gain a shred of privacy and may be a little peace and quiet too.

I cannot:

1.) Brush your hair
2.) Open the tooth paste
3.) Make your breakfast
4.) Find your missing soccer sock. (By the way, the game isn't for several hours.)
5.) Tell you where Thomas Jefferson graduated from college or how many children he had
6.) Time your reading
7.) Help you conjugate verbs
8.) Get the new tights out of your dresser
9.) Spell check your email to your friend
10.) Find your missing tap shoe
11.) Change the channel on the television
12.) Remove the parental controls on the television, even if it is a show you're allowed to watch
13.) Reach a water for you to take to school
14.) Read the school lunch menu, which is hung conveniently where you can read it yourself
15.) Find your library book, when I didn't even know you had a library book
16.) Help you trim your toe nails
17.) Find hair ties
18.) Find your back pack
19.) Find your bootie shorts
20.) Make brownies for pulga
21.) Explain why it doesn't snow here
22.) Explain why Santa doesn't visit Jewish kids
23.) Explain why the tooth fairy sometimes forgets you lost a tooth
24.) Explain why "Susie" tooth fairy brings $5 per tooth and yours only brings $1
25.) Tell you what People magazine means when it says "It's Over" next to Taylor Swift and some guy
26.) Tell you why the lady in people magazine wears a dress that almost shows her privates
27.) Explain you why you shouldn't be reading People magazine.
28.) Change the cookies I put in your lunch for goldfish
29.) Cut the crusts off your peanut butter sandwich
30.) Stitch the piece of elastic onto your hat for dance, when I never even knew you had a piece of elastic that needed to be stitched on by today

Finally, I'll never understand why you are bugging me while I'm in the shower when your father is sitting at the kitchen table reading the paper and sipping coffee in complete quiet. He is completely capable of covering all of the items above.


  • At 8:50 PM , Blogger Will and Julia's Mommy said...

    Ha! Thanks for the list to be prepared for. Julia is only 2 but I feel like the list is already in my future...especially the remarks about the Dad!

  • At 11:40 PM , Blogger Marci said...

    Showers, toilets, telephones... they all seem to have the same impact!

  • At 6:58 AM , Blogger Ani said...

    Love it... I swear my 2 wait to see me doing something when they suddenly remember why they need me desperately :)


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home