Our First Anniversary

I am posting this in advance of our actual family day, which is 11/15. The entire story of our trip is in the November Archive.

A year ago Tuesday, a terrified bundle of baby was handed to me in a crowded office building in China. As with my recollection of meeting La Nina, almost all of my memories of magical moment are sensory. I remember seeing her across the room in the bright yellow outfit we had sent. I remember the feel of her body stiff with terror when I first held her. I remember she weighed nothing compared to her sister who I was used to holding. But most vividly I remember the sound of her frightened crying.

Those first few hours with her were something else. She wanted nothing to do with me or her father. She screamed everytime we spoke to her; our language brought her no comfort. She fought against being in our arms. If I knew then, what I know now... I would have expected nothing less than what we got that first night. Maggie will never "go gently".

Those first few days in China were rough. I was SO grateful for all the preparation I did prior to La Nina's adoption. I didn't need the knowledge for La Nina--she is fairly easy going and transitioned easily---but the knowledge of behavior extremes during transitions came in handy when Maggie demonstrated all of them, at once. Who knew those symptoms weren't isolated? The book made it sound like, "Your child could react with X or Y", but my child reacted with "X, Y and Z".

And even through the wails of discontent, she was adorable. When we were handed her, she was too thin. She wasn't frail, but she was skin and bones. Her entire body was covered with patches of eczema. Her face broke out in nervous hives from the stress of the change within 2 days of meeting us. Her hair stood on end, and she toddled around on very bowed-legs. In my mind, she and her sister were tied for the title "most beautiful baby ever adopted from China".

Today, as I write these words, it is hard for me to connect the child I call Maggie with the terrified little baby from China; her transformation takes my breath away. Today, Maggie is still a handful, but she is so joyful. She is very coordinated, clever and clean. Yep, Maggie is a fastidious little thing. She is bursting with language, giggles and the occasional tempertantrum, but she is two and it is to be expected.

Physically, her eczema is under control and her body is no longer too thin. She grew 7 inches in her first 7 months with us and her weight now looks proportionally correct with her height. In fact, she looks like a child who is thriving. By US standards, she isn't a big kid. But she is on the US charts, so she isn't that small.

In terms of our family, Maggie is devoted to her big sister. Project Daddy Love (the nickname I gave my efforts help her learn to love dear old Dad) is a total success. Tonight, she even left my lap for his; it was a big moment. She remains a committed Mama's girl, but I don't mind.

On the one hand, it doesn't seem like a year since we met her, hasn't she always been with us? On the other hand, it has been a LONG year filled with many sleepless nights. Sleeplessness not brought on by worry, but rather by her reluctance to sleep.

At times like this, my thoughts turn to my girls' birth parents. I can't help but wonder who they are, where they are and what they would think of the lives their girls are leading. In many ways, I am sure the reality of my girls lives are beyond their birth parents' comprehension. (How on earth would you explain Disneyland to a Chinese peasant?) But it is in these times of anniversaries, that I wish I could tell their birth parents "thank you." I also wish there was some way I could let them know, their girls are safe, happy and loved in this world.