A Close Encounter

Yesterday, I was shopping with the kids in our usual grocery store. I have shopped in this store for years. Most of the clerks know me, know my kids and know our story. We were in the produce section, when I thought I heard someone say, 'Lady, your kids don't look like you.' Since my back was turned and the comment was obnoxious, I chose to ignore it.

We finished up the shopping and headed for the check out stands. The girls were antsy and I was just trying to get them out of the store without breaking something. There was only one check out stand open, so we got in line behind a man.

The man looked at me and the girls, and I had a sinking feeling I was face to face with the heckler.

"These children don't look like you," he said to me.

"Every child has their own look," I answered, my tone icy.

Figuring he was going to get nowhere with me, he asks La Nina, "Are you with your babysitter?"

"No," she pipes back, "She is my mommy."

Gesturing to Maggie in the cart, he continues, "And this is your sister?"

"Yes, but she is just a baby," La Nina answers.

So, the guy finally gets some guts and addresses me again, "You married an Oriental?"

I am fuming, but La Nina is all eyes and ears, so I smile, shrug my shoulders and laugh at him, "No."

"You are a liar," are his next words to me. "You are not telling me the truth. You are lying. There is something going on here."

I was livid, my heart was pounding, but I forced myself to look the man in the eye and evenly say, "Sir, I have told you more than you deserve to know."

At that point, he turns to the clerk and complains, "This woman is rude. She lies." I am outraged to be called a liar for the second time by a buffoon, but again, with La Nina watching and I say nothing. I just look at the clerk and raise my eyebrows, a gesture questioning that last statement.

The clerk had heard our exchange and I can tell from her body language she is as upset as I am. She takes his groceries, carefully puts them in a bag, and after a very long pause, she says "You are the one who is rude, sir."

The man is stunned and leaves the store. She looks at me, we exchange smiles, partner in crimes smiles, and she lets my girls help her unpack the cart as always. As I turn to leave, she offers, "You handled him well. I probably would have punched him."

I didn't say anything and just nodded. I really didn't want to acknowledge how hard my heart was beating or how scared I was that he was going to make a scene or give La Nina a clue that both the clerk and I were shaken.

Perhaps, I have been lucky not to encounter such in-your-face rudeness until now. For the first time, I was forced to firmly set a boundary to protect my children. And that is the funny thing about these random encounters, you just don't know. He could have been some nice older man with a strange approach or he could have been simply mean. My instincts told me the guy was ignorant and racist. Was he racist? I don't know. Was he nuts? I don't know. But, the encounter shook me and made me realize that even in this lovely little hamlet in which we live, my family could be in for a turbulent ride.