A Footnote to the Encounter

With my kids in preschool, I braved the grocery store again today. And believe me, I was nervous just walking through the doors. The same clerk was working, so I thanked her and compared notes. A couple of interesting facts about my encounter were revealed.

1.) The buffoon who was picking on us is a drunk. He goes into the store everyday, buys some food, treats people poorly and leaves.

2.) The clerk had not heard my exchange with the drunk. Her comment to him was only in response to his complaint about me. Likewise, her comments to me were only about him calling me 'rude'. She didn't realize he had been harrassing me and the kids.

3.) According to her, she can get fired for her words to him, regardless of the circumstances. Her management advised all the clerks to simply bag his groceries and not speak to him.

So, now I know: He was a drunk. In no way does it excuse his behavior, but at least I have an explanation. However, the sad result of this whole experience is I am nervous about taking my kids into a grocery store again--not just that store, any grocery store. Two of my three worst experiences with comments have happened in grocery stores. Reality and hunger dictates that I will probably go shopping again with the kids, but for a little while, I will do the shopping while they are at school.

So, my latest dilemma: Do I talk to the store management about the incident? I spend more money than him at the store. The clerk knows exactly who I had a problem with and knows he complained about me, even if she didn't hear the conversation. Of course, I would leave out her words to him to protect her. There is a part of me, who says I should--just to put another nail in his coffin. And another part of me that says, the store has already decided to do nothing about him, so I should just let it go. Any ideas?

Thank you so much for the supportive comments and emails. If this had to happen, I am glad it happened three years after I adopted La Nina for I am much more experienced at handling comments, good and bad.

For all the waiting parents who read this, most people are genuinely kind to my family. The number of people who have approached me to say, "My granddaughter is from China," "My friends adopted from China," "I am adopting from China," etc, etc, far out number the negative ones.

To date, La Nina hasn't said anything about the whole incident, and I am relieved. She was the only reason I maintained my composure and remains my biggest worry. Knowing her, it could take a couple of weeks before she pops out with any questions. I am grateful that Maggie is still too young to have understood.

Reality is there are drunks and crazy people in this world, and I need to teach my girls to handle them. I only hope these lessons are few and far between.