My Little Problem

I've decided to come out of the closet with something: I'm suffering from an addiction. I'm addicted to books. Oh, sure, it doesn't sound like such a bad thing. I mean, really, wouldn't you love for your children to be addicted to books? My addiction started in childhood. I would laze away the summer reading trashy novels while my Mom worked and rushing through my chores in the last few seconds before she walked in the door.

In 25 years, nothing has changed. When I learned I won a writing award that included cash, did I get a massage, a manicure/pedicure, a new outfit or even a shot of botox? Nope. I went straight to the book store and blew my wad on books.

Of course, my desire to consume and the time I have for imbibing are completely out of alignment these days. Two kids, two dogs, writing and the laundry keep me from pursuing my pleasure to its fullest extent, but I do often find myself with my nose in a book and the house and kids running amok. You know it's bad when I can barely set down a good read to apply heat to a frozen dinner and rip open a bag o' salad. Or worse, when I stay up until all hours of the night finishing something 'I just couldn't put down' then rushing the kids off to nap time the next day so I can crash right along with them.

I'm long on desire short on time and the 'to be read' pile is out of control. On my night stand there are 8 books: 6 I own, 2 from the library (lest you think I don't make avail of free services too). The topics include Chinese history, Essays by Emerson, Fiction by Waldman, a work on adoption, an anthology of short stories, a book by Terry McMillan, a book on writing and my book club book which I have no intention of reading, but its there so I feel part of the club. Behind this pile, there are 3 more stacks containing 10 or so titles each that line my dresser.

A book case you suggest to solve my clutter problem? I already have one and its bursting with books I have read that I just can't bear to part with. I regularly sell back my used books, but I always end up taking the store credit instead of cash. I mean why would I want money when I could have the latest Amy Tan novel as well as 5 more books I've been meaning to read and now I owe you how much Mr. Used Book seller? I'm as helpless as crack addict in West Oakland.

So, while I'm working the first step in my Literature Anonymous 12-step program, please think good thoughts for me. And if you know of a good title, do share!