Another Year Ends

As I always do on New Years' Eve, I spent a lot of time thinking about the year that is ending tonight. All in all, it was a good year. It had its ups and downs, but on the balance it was good, I think. The truth is while I'm trying to think about the year that is almost over, I find myself distracted by the year ahead.

You see, ever since we adopted La Nina I knew she would start school in 2007. That sounded so far off for so long, but tonight it sounds so close. Several things strike me about the coming year. It will be a big change for my daughter. A new school, new friends, new experiences. There is no doubt in my mind she is ready for school and will do well when she starts in August. Yet, I'm worried.

She has never had to do anything five days a week. Heck, I haven't done anything 5 days a week in over 4 years. Then there's home work, after school activities and the increased pressure on kids to perform. It all seems to be coming our way much too fast. She's so young.

I also worry about what the big kids will say to her on the playground when they realize our family is different. Will she be taunted over our differing appearances? La Nina's the more sensitive and the more reserved of my two--I worry about the Magster too, but I worry more about the kid she'll punch for saying the wrong thing to her--with La Nina, I worry about her feelings.

Will she tell me if something bad happens to her at school? Does she have answers ready for the inevitable questions she will have to navigate without my intervention? To my knowledge, she's never answered an adoption question independent from me, is she ready? Is this the beginning of the end of her wanting to be seen with me in public? Will she stop holding my hand soon? When does all that start? I can't remember exactly, but I know its grade school...and grade school is almost here.

So, as I sit and contemplate this changing calendar, I realize what a funny thing this parenthood gig is. Here I am ringing in a new year and marking time by my daughter's next set of challenges, not my own. Suddenly her milestones are markers in my life too. She owns these big transitions, but they end up being mine as much as they are hers.

2007 is here so much sooner than I ever expected. We'll be counting the days until late August when the school year actually begins. Then once it hits, we'll be counting the days until it ends in June. Thankfully, milestones like 2020 are still a long way off, but they will be here before I know it.