Everyone's Talking

You know, it's funny. When we adopted the girls from China, I was under the mistaken impression that once the adoptions were complete, my involvement in the adoption process was over. However, whether I like it or not, the fact I've adopted from China has designated me the 'go to' person on all Chinese adoptions issues for friends, families, co-workers, grocery clerks, etc.

And I don't think I've ever felt it more accutely than with the recent CCAA changes in the adoption criteria. First, I'm amazed that so many people have heard about the changes and second, I'm amazed so many people are interested in them. Today, the local NPR station had some sort of story on the changes, and I was fielding questions like a press secretary all day long.

For the record, I don't mind answering the questions. In fact, Chinese adoption is an issue near and dear to my heart. Since I'm on the record, I do find it sad that the changes will eliminate many potentially great parents...and the bottom line on each and every change: The children up for adoption are their kids. The Chinese Government can change the rules however they see fit.

When I gave this answer to someone today who was quite upset about the changes, you would have thought that I personally wrote the rules to exclude people. The person was offended. (To all of my relatives who are reading this post and are now wondering if I'm talking about you...I'm not.) And I found myself in a difficult position. I don't believe that it's okay to exclude people, I just don't think we, as Americans, have the right to tell the Chinese how to write their adoption laws. And sure, it does seem like some of their rules are judgments against our society...it's just for me, it always come back to the fact, that Americans would be pretty ticked off if the Chinese tried to change our adoption laws, so why do we think we have any right to change theirs?

As the conversation deterioriated into a thinly veiled accusation that I was disinterested because I wasn't currently in the process, I had to stifle a laugh. True, I'm not in the adoption process and most likely never will be again, but that isn't the real issue. The real issue is one of time. Because of the success of the process in my life...I have very little time to actually keep abreast of the changes and even less time to get emotionally invested in the process changes. So, I'm sorry to disappoint folks with a lack of outrage...if I could just get the laundry done, the house picked up and the Thank you notes out from Christmas, may be I could get more worked up.