Six Months Ago
Six months ago yesterday, the Magster came into our lives. She was full of it then, and she is full of it now. In some ways, it is hard to believe the frightened little baby handed to us in China is the spunky little monkey running around our house today.
In hindsight, our first few days with Maggie told us so much about her personality. When she is stressed, she doesn't eat. She didn't eat for 4 days in China, but has had numerous shorter hunger strikes whenever it suits her objectives. When she is mad, watch out. Maggie can scream for hours over something trivial, she is a determined little thing. It explains why she screamed for days over joining our family. When Maggie doesn't want to do something, heaven help the person who tries to force her. In China, she wanted nothing to do with her Dad and nothing he did could convince her it was ok. At home, she wanted nothing to do with blood tests and it was ugly. This child will never go gently on anything.
I find it intriguing that both of my girls' spirits were revealed to us so quickly in China. As a parent, I was so quick to explain away their behavior with my psychobabble. La Nina's mellow transition was a sign of shell shock according to all my "adoptive parenting" books. Now that I know her, La Nina always handles transitions very quietly. She is a reserved kid by nature. It takes her a while to share her real feelings. I tried to explain Maggie's temperment as a result of grief, that is the explanation that fit from my books. Now that I know her, the Magster is a pistol. She lets her feelings be known, good or bad, long and loud, all day everyday.
I know some waiting families read this blog, so here is my little nugget of wisdom after doing this twice. And this is much easier said than done. I failed twice at it: Watch your daughter closely those first few days, she is revealing so much more than you will ever guess. As you continue on your journey as her parent, you will think back on her reaction in China and think, "you know, it all makes sense, she is just..."
In hindsight, our first few days with Maggie told us so much about her personality. When she is stressed, she doesn't eat. She didn't eat for 4 days in China, but has had numerous shorter hunger strikes whenever it suits her objectives. When she is mad, watch out. Maggie can scream for hours over something trivial, she is a determined little thing. It explains why she screamed for days over joining our family. When Maggie doesn't want to do something, heaven help the person who tries to force her. In China, she wanted nothing to do with her Dad and nothing he did could convince her it was ok. At home, she wanted nothing to do with blood tests and it was ugly. This child will never go gently on anything.
I find it intriguing that both of my girls' spirits were revealed to us so quickly in China. As a parent, I was so quick to explain away their behavior with my psychobabble. La Nina's mellow transition was a sign of shell shock according to all my "adoptive parenting" books. Now that I know her, La Nina always handles transitions very quietly. She is a reserved kid by nature. It takes her a while to share her real feelings. I tried to explain Maggie's temperment as a result of grief, that is the explanation that fit from my books. Now that I know her, the Magster is a pistol. She lets her feelings be known, good or bad, long and loud, all day everyday.
I know some waiting families read this blog, so here is my little nugget of wisdom after doing this twice. And this is much easier said than done. I failed twice at it: Watch your daughter closely those first few days, she is revealing so much more than you will ever guess. As you continue on your journey as her parent, you will think back on her reaction in China and think, "you know, it all makes sense, she is just..."
posted by One Lucky Mom @ 9:05 PM
1 Comments:
At 11:43 AM ,
Anonymous said...
Thanks so much for your insight about those first few days in China. I am a new mommy in waiting that faithfully reads many different blogs and am soaking up the experiences and suggestions of many moms.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home