Leaving the House

Last Summer, a friend of mine with 3 kids was having some health problems. For no reason at all, she would get dizzy and faint. After a great deal of investigation, doctors determined it had to be stress related. The first question I asked, sort of kidding, sort of not, "Does this happen whenever you are trying to get the kids out of the house?" She laughed, but all the Moms agreed: The most stressful part of our day is leaving the house.

It seems so simple. Get the kids dressed, fed and cleaned up. Then gather all their stuff (depending on the day and location this differs). Then convince them to get in the car, strap themselves down, start the car and go. This, of course, assumes there is nothing to do for yourself. A trip to the gym or store might require additional organization, but for this post, we will disregard this wrinkle.

Now, add to this very short finite list of things to do: a missing security blanket, a sudden need to use the potty, an unexpected dirty diaper, a missing shoe, and I swear it is a miracle a mother ever gets her kids anywhere.

Which brings me to the other night. We were going to dinner with friends and we were actually on time. The kids were completely cooperative, I packed the salad, wine and beer earlier, the diaper bag was even organized. It was like a miracle or something.

We were getting into the car...all four of us...meaning there were two adults present to load 2 children into the car. Both kids were running around and I was scooping out the normal amounts of kid crap from the floor board. I am still not sure where the Dad was.

Suddenly, the Magster appeared at my feet. She was a little weepy and uttering something I couldn't understand. La Nina, ever helpful, provided translation. "She's wet. She fell in the gutter."

Ok, my initial reaction was to burst out laughing...she fell in the gutter? How did that happen? Why does this always happen? And the ever-popular, where is your father? But the Magster looked so pathetic and I felt sorry for her, I refrained from laughing and sized up the situation.

First, I noticed the knees of the Magster's tights were muddy and torn. I could see a small blood stain forming by her newly skinned knee. Upon closer inspection, I noticed the front of her dress was soaked as were the sleeves of her coat. So much for leaving on time. I scooped her up and took her into the house to get her changed.

Dad and La Nina were already in car and it was running as we headed back into the house. So much for our first-ever perfect, two children, ontime departure. I had to strip Maggie naked to get her dry and redress her. Ten minutes later we were in the car and underway. Officially late.

We didn't call our friends to tell them we were running late. They also have two kids and we figured they would understand. They did.