Really, I'm a Trendsetter?

A recent letter that appeared Parade Magazine asked why people like Angelia Jolie and Meg Ryan were going overseas when "so many babies" were available here in the US. In a nutshell, the answer, given by a Parade columnist, was that international adoption is "trendy".

Here is a copy of the letter to the editor that I sent to Parade.

To Whom It May Concern:

My husband and I are one of those people who decided to adopt internationally, and I can assure you being trendy was the last thing on our minds.

Prior to adopting internationally, we went to a private attorney to inquire about a domestic adoption of a child. My criteria was simple: healthy and under the age of 1, race was not an issue for me. Trust me, the picture painted by the attorney sent me running to adopt outside of the country. Drug addicted birth mothers, birth mothers who changed their mind and potential mental illnesses were actually greater among the babies available for adoption in the US than babies available outside the US.

There was no way I was signing up for a process so full of pitfalls. Call me timid, call me shallow, call me trendy, but for some reason, it seems I live in a country that has no desire to protect my interests as an adoptive parent, so why on earth take such a tremendous emotional risk? I admire the heck out of all the people who do adopt here. They weighed the risks and benefits and made a decision. I respect that. In fact, in my experience, parents of domestic adoptees equally respect my decision. The people I find most critical have never experienced the joy of adoption.

Further, I suggest before you call my decision 'trendy', you come see my life with two kids. If driving a mini-van, in peanut butter smeared jeans with time to barely comb my hair in the morning is trendy, than I am the height of fashion. I have no idea why Angelina Jolie and Meg Ryan chose to adopt internationally. But I doubt trends had anything to do with it. And besides once their kids are home, Angelina and Meg are just working Moms lugging their babies about town like everyone else.

Your columnist made a very offensive and grave mistake. I will be watching for a retraction.