Reunions

For the second time in three weeks, we're just back from a travel group reunion. If you don't have the good fortune to belong to a travel group, a travel group is the complete strangers you are tossed together with in China when you adopt children together. What's funny is you know all the details of about their kids and very few details about the parents. But you know some very important things: you know, that a person was kind enough to loan you a blanket when you forgot one; you know that a person found a doctor for their child and then told you about it; you know that the mom cried harder than her daughter when they first saw each other.

Then, for the rest of your child's life you have this interesting tie: you know the most important things, but you have gaps. For instance, you often never find out what people do for a living. Sometimes you really aren't clear where people live. Sometimes, you don't know first names, because you've developed amusing nicknames.

Reunions are the times figure all this stuff out. Once a year or every the year, our groups gather and it's a chance for us to reconnect or sometimes connect for the first time. During this round of reunions, we learned that a dad we knew to be creatively talented sings and writes songs, then we were amazed when a big sister from a different family sat down and sang beautifully as well. We visited with a Mom who's fighting cancer and saw the embodiment of toughness and determination. And we had a giggle about someone's big secret.

But no matter what we learn, we learned the most important things in China. These are people who love their girls as much as we love ours. And ultimately, it's that love that is the common bond.