Las Alazanas de Jalisco

Below is a video of Maggie's class performing at her Multicultural Fair this week. She's on the right in white. She took her dance very seriously and did a great job.

La Vida es un Carnaval

Below is a video of what turned out to be a very controversial dance: La Nina's Salsa. Apparently, some second grader went home and told their mother this was a very sexy dance. The mother then complained to the school. To this I ask, why does a second grader know what sexy means? I also say, my daughter is a dancer. If you tell her to shake, she's going to shake. And for crying out loud, salsa's involve shaking. (Look for the kid who is really shaking it...that's my girl!)

Ballando con las estrellas

This week was the Multi-cultural Fair at our school. A time when we celebrate cultures from around the world, but mostly Latin America because we're in a Dual Immersion Spanish program. Most of the classes pick a dance from somewhere around the world, practice it for a couple of months and then perform it at a school assembly, then again for the community (aka parents, grandparents and anyone else willing to watch.)

As the parent of a serious dancer, my favorite part of this event is the utter lack of professionalism. Kids are waving from stage, picking up parts of their costumes that dropped, stopping and staring for no apparent reason. La Nina is horrified by the behavior of her peers, but I love it. Seriously, it's my favorite event.

The costumes are also fantastic. Most of them hand made by some willing mom with a sewing machine and the ability to forgo several hours of sleep to manufacture 12 dresses/shirts/pants/scarves...you get the picture. Thankfully, I didn't have to sew. I hate to think what my tailor would have charged. (The Magster costumes this year were borrowed from a local folk dance troupe and they were really fantastic. )

In the end, both girls had a great time and we were very proud parent. I think events like this are the part of their childhood I will miss the most when they grow up. The pure charm of kids performing is delightful and one of the treasures of parenthood.

The Start of Something

Last week, while we were on vacation, we spent some time with one of my dearest friend's from high school and two of her daughters, aged 10 and 14. The girls enjoyed each other's company and La Nina was particularly embarrassed by her new friends' ariel cartwheels, front and back walk overs and back handsprings.

As my friend and her kids were leaving, her 10 year old asked if they could go to "Justice". I'd never heard of the place, so I asked. My friend explained it was a clothing store. La Nina immediately piped up that a couple of her friends' at school only shop there and she really needed to go too. Needless to say, a mall was not on my list of vacation hot spots, so we didn't go.

However, today was a different story. La Nina's First Communion is 3 weeks away and she needs shoes and a slip. We had to go to the mall anyway, and lo and behold we discovered our mall also has a Justice.

Justice is a store targetted for 'tweens. They only carry sizes 7 through 14. They play really loud Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus. Everything is neon. And a lot of it is emblazoned with something about dance or soccer. It was nirvana for La Nina, who disappeared 30 seconds after we entered the store.

Figuring she wouldn't leave this mecca of 'tweendom, the Magster and I looked around for a dress for her. We found something pretty quickly, she tried it on and was ready to go in about 5 minutes. I still hadn't seen her sister so thought I should look for her.

I found La Nina in the jewelry section. Unbeknownst to me, she had brought along her wallet and was picking out some earrings. She showed me what she had picked out, none of them were too dangly and they were actually quite tasteful considering her preferences run much more racy than mine.

She gets in line in front of me to check out, hands over the jewelry and I think I see an extra pair...but I sort of dismiss the thought. As we're walking out, she shows me some earrings on the rack. They are big hoops with lots of rainbow-colored peace signs hanging on them, certainly not something for an 8 year old. I just laugh and say "No."

We walk out of the store and she tells me she bought the earrings I just nixed with her own money and she's going to where them. A lot of thoughts went through my head in that moment, none of them remotely favorable to her position nor anything I dared utter aloud. Instead, I decided to explain a fact of life: Maternal Veto.

This rule lasts until she is 18. I don't care who buys it, how much it costs, how rare it is, how cool it is, etc. If I say No, it's no. Now I could have made her exchange the earrings on the spot, but then she'd get her money back and considering how sneaky she was, I decided that was way too nice. She needed to learn a lesson. Instead, I forced her to give the earrings to me. She tried to tell me I owned her $8, but no way. Next time, she needs to ask before she buys. I now own a lovely pair of hoop earrings covered with peace signs. I bet you're all jealous.

The Situation with Russia

For some reason, once you adopt, everyone feels the need to bring up the bad adoption news to you. I don't know how many times I've heard over the last few days, "Gosh, did you hear about that family who sent their kid back?"

Yes, I heard and it breaks my heart. No child deserves to be abandoned. Not even the hardest to handle, most difficult, most violent child deserves this. And that what is so very sad. What is also sad is the reflection this act perpetuated by one family casts on all adoptive families. Russia is now threatening to stop all adoptions, because of the act of this one family. This extends one family's tragedy into a nightmare for hundreds innocent people who will be great parents if they're allowed the chance and adoption may be their only chance.

Like it or not, adoptive parents are more scrutinized and held to higher standards than biological ones before, during and after the adoption. Before adopting we undergo background checks, financial analysis and medical exams. In China, I'd rather face the scrutiny of the government officials than those grandmas who are brutal in their comments about the care we give the kids. Once we get home, social workers visit and follow up. On my more cynical days, I wonder how many people would be allowed to reproduce if they went through the scrutiny we did. And yet, crazy people still manage to adopt. But many, many, many more great people adopt than crazy ones.

I don't know what the answer is to stop crazy people from adopting, but if there is one, I'm all for finding it. Because the many, many positive adoptions stories rarely make the top story on the news, but boy, the bad ones are never missed.

Tonight we discussed this story over dinner with our kids. Why? Because if people bring it up to me, the girls may hear about it at school and I want them to hear about it from me first. I want them to have a response in their back pocket if someone asks about it. La Nina said she would tell people she knew nothing about it, the Magster said she would tell them it's very sad. Both answers work just fine. I really wish we didn't have to have these conversations, but it's the reality of adoption in the ultra connected world.

So, if you see me in the next few days, yeah, yeah, I heard. But you know what, why don't we talk about some of the inspirational adoption stories I know? Because you know, the vast majority of adoptions are great stories with very happy endings. And at this point, the Russian government needs to hear those stories.