Maggie Makes Four!

This journal started off documenting the adoption of our youngest daughter. It now follows the twist and turns of our lives as we raise these two amazing little creatures into the best women they can become.

Friday, August 31, 2007

We Made It!

We survived our first week of kindergarten. La Nina is exhausted, but enthusiastic to go back next week.

A few random thoughts on the week:
It's true that kindergarten tires kids out for the first week, at least it did ours. The latest bedtime was 7:30pm. The earliest was 5:55pm. (Unfortunately, she didn't get dinner that night.)

Biggest challenge: Meals! She starts school at 11:30. She's never been a big breakfast eater, and lunch at 11am is not appealing. I started packing big snacks for her, but she informed me to lighten up on snacks so to increase her playtime. SO-
we may be eating dinner around 5pm here..which solves the problem with an early bedtime, but kills family dinners. I have no idea how we're going to resolve this one.

Easiest part of this week: Getting to know people. The Moms are all very friendly and the kids are too. La Nina has already made friends with a couple of the little girls. It's quite helpful that I know their Moms.

Most amazing thing: How interested La NIna is in learning Spanish. Let's face it: Dual Immersion was our idea, not hers. But she's totally into it. She's already asking us to help her translate things, and tonight, she asked me to make flash cards to help her learn her days of the week. According to a bi-lingual Mom who's been in the classroom, the teacher is already teaching about 70% in Spanish (the class will be 90% in Spanish within the next two weeks--they go slow at first.) The English speaking kids are having no trouble following her. The example the Mom gave was that teacher read the class a story in Spanish and asked the kids questions about the story in English...and the kids answered the questions.

So, there you have it. I'm off to make my daughter flash cards. (What mother could refuse such a request?) Of course, I'll be on Babelfish trying to remember the days of the week myself. Anyone?

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

She's a School Girl Now...

What's that expression something about having a child is like ripping out your heart and letting it walk around without you. Today, that saying was never more true for us as we watched La Nina walk into her first classroom. First, I'm proud to say that I didn't cry. Well, not until she got home and I pulled a very sweet art project from her backpack. Second, I'm also proud to say she did not cry and looked thrilled from the moment she led the line of kids into the classroom.

A few details:

The outfit: My daughter was the only child in her class to don an animal print her first day of kindergarten. Despite my best efforts to talk her out of it, she wore her "Cheetah" top and skirt. (I looked online to find a picture, but I couldn't find it.) Basically the top's a shell in a cheetah print fabric with a brown over shirt and the denim skirt is lined with cheetah fabric. Considering it was 100 degrees plus today, I contented myself with the fact that she looked fashionable and dressed for the weather without breaking the school dress code (spaghetti strings are forbidden--every sun dress we own falls outside the new rules.)

The backpack: The only backpack we had for La Nina was too small to hold the infamous Wednesday envelope--the packet of homework and announcements sent home each week. So this weekend we went shopping for a bigger school pack. She selected a princess backpack that dwarfs her when it's on her back. I've been a little worried she going to outgrow the whole princess obsession, but most of the girls were carrying similar packs, so it looks like we're safe for at least this year. Let's hope she never fills the backpack, because it will outweigh her filled.

The Sister: Poor Magster. When the kids lined up to go into the kindergarten class, she stood right behind her sister, ready to head into class. She was mighty disappointed when she had to leave school with boring old Mom and come home alone. Her new school starts 9/10 and that can't come soon enough for her.

The Language: Today, the teacher (Maestra) taught half in English and half in Spanish. La Nina came home singing Spanish songs and greeted me with a hearty "Buenas Dias". The class will switch to 90% Spanish in 3-4 weeks. In case you wonder if Dora works...it does. The teacher called backpacks "mochilas" and La Nina looked at us, held up her backpack and smiled. Long live Dora and Diego. Also this afternoon, La Nina corrected the word I used for "big" in Spanish. I have a feeling there's going to be a lot of that in my future.

Bedtime: Well, check out the time stamp on this post and that says it all. Both girls were out cold by 7:15. I could get used to this.

I can't believe we have to do it all again tomorrow. I haven't had to do anything five days a week in five years, and I'm in for a big adjustment on this.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

One old muther...

So, I was sitting at kindergarten orientation tonight and a sign up sheet came by. It was some form parents had to fill out with our name, address, birthday so the school could get credit for orienting us. Because I'm nosy, I took a gander down the list of birthdates. And my heart just about stopped: Only two parents were older than me and I'm married to one of the old dudes! Good GOD, does that make me old too? I think it does!

While it's not a surprise (because I'm still young enough to remember my age), it caught me off guard. I mean I knew some of the people would be younger than me. But all of them? Are the kids in the class just going to call me grammy every time I step into the classrom?

Most days I live in some sort of altered universe, where it is perfectly normal for people 40 years old to have toddlers. However, tonight it hit me smack in the face, we're the freaks. Most of the parents are younger. It isn't normal to have a kid starting school while receiving AARP solitications in the mail. Who knew?

Some of La Nina's friends parents will be 15 years younger than me. Oh dear Lord. They were born while I was in high school. What will I talk about with them? The graduated from high school in a different decade than me. They probably don't remember when the Summer Olympics pre-empted the Brady Bunch AND I bet they don't know that Donny Osmond's favorite color is purple. The odds are they never wore Dittos, Cherokee sandals or leg warmers. And do you think these people owned the Saturday Night Fever sound track in eight track? Of course they didn't!

I'm freaked enough about this whole school thing and now it's throwing me into a mid-life crisis. Because I just figured out I'm friggin' middle aged! In two years, I'll be in my mid-40's, not even my early 40's. And by the time the kids are out of high school....I'll need oxygen just to climb the stairs of the football stadium to watch them graduate.

Oh, this kindergarten thing is going to be harder than I ever imagined.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Has it really been a week since my last post?

I signed on tonight and was surprised to read its been a week since I've posted. Where does the time go?

Here's the latest with us:

We spent the weekend in Pismo Beach at an adoption reunion. This time it was La Nina's group. Since we meet up with just the other families who adopted from Anqing with us, it was a small group, only six families. At 5 1/2, the girls are now good friends. It is so gratifying to see them hug each other hello and good-bye, hold hands, dance together and visit. This is the last reunion they will have before entering school and it was a good one.

It's funny too how the reunions also take on a new significance for the girls as they get older. Again, I won't betray my daughter's confidentiality with specifics, but this reunion was different for her. She had a great time, but she also had a more emotional response this time to seeing "her sisters". It's a sign that she understands her adoption story more everyday...and at the same time, it doesn't make our job as parents any easier.

Kindergarten Looming:
In seven days, La NIna heads off to Kindergarten. It doesn't seem possible this milestone is upon us. For me, it's bittersweet. I'm excited for her. I know she'll blossom in school. For me, I'm a little sad. I feel like I'm losing my baby. In reality, she's certainly no longer a baby, but something about starting school cements her status as a kid. At least I still have a few mroe days. And yeah...I'll be a Mom who cries on her first day.

Head in the Game
The girls have caught the fever for High School Musical. Dubbed High-sical Musical by the Magster, the two are obsessed with both the first and second versions. La Nina loves Sharpay because she wears high heals and carries a dog. The Magster loves Gabriela. The movies are really cute and I'm so happy to finally know who I'm reading about in People Magazine. I've been reading about these actors for months without a clue as to who they are. A mystery solved for me.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Mother Loses It At Local Mall

Pleasanton, CA-- A mother shopping for school clothes with her two young daughters was found shouting at vendors at a local mall.

According to witnesses, a kiosk vendor approached the shopper while she and her daughters were between stores. He offered to use his hair device on her and she wrestled him to the ground and threatened his life.

"Man, I don't know what's wrong with that lady," said the vendor who was too shaken to give his name. "I just asked if she had a few moments and she came unglued."

Authorities report when the victim approached the woman with a hair product, she first shouted something to the effect that if she didn't have time to curl her hair at home, why was it a good idea to curl it at the mall? Then when the vendor closed in on her with the styling wand, she pushed him to the ground, grabbed the product and threatened him with it. No one is quite sure what happened next.

Selma Jones, of Livermore, was a witness to the commotion. "She looked nice enough. She was carrying a couple of shopping bags and one of the girls was crying for shoes, but nothing out of the ordinary. Then this outburst. Those poor children."

Other witnesses have a different account. Shoppers in several stores report the children had driven their mother to the edge. Both were seen grabbing clothes from racks with no regard for size, dancing shamelessly in dressing rooms while singing songs from the Grease sound track and begging for purses to match every outfit. The family was between a clothing store and a shoe store when the attack occured.

In her own defense, the mother said, "You take my kids shopping and you'll see why those vendors shouldn't mess with me."

Authorities decline to comment on any charges being filed. At last report, the mother was in her home with a glass of wine and the children were safe with their father.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Catching Up

Well, at least our week ended a bit slower than it began. Friday, the girls and I celebrated what felt like our first true day of summer. We went to the pool, had haircuts, went for ice cream. We did nothing on the house except live in it. It was a first in many months when the house didn't dominate our free time and we all enjoyed the day immensely.

***

In other news, it looks like weekly hair drama will enter my life starting next week.. La Nina's dance team will be performing the Nutcracker this December. I thought this was an optional affair for La Nina, but La Nina herself informed me this is not optional and she's dancing in the show. Therefore, it's my job to have La Nina ready for her Nutcracker rehearsals each week and her hair must be in a bun. Oy vey. These dance teachers...why are pony tails so bad? Ponytails, I can manage. I'm worried about the bun.

Next week, we'll find out her role in the show. She's hoping for a peppermint over a mouse, because the mice get stuck with swords by the soldiers. I'll keep all of you posted.

***

Post script on losing our dog: The girls are doing ok with the loss. Thank you for all the kind words. And not to make light of a sad thing, but the Magster is cracking us up on this whole issue. She wants to know if Hops still has fur, if Hops' new wings have fur, etc. Most funny are her random recitations of the names of every dog she knows that has died to totally unsuspecting adults. For instance our neighbor was out and the Magster walked up to her and gave her a five minute monologue on dogs who have died. Her speech includes their names, whether or not they were good dogs, the fact that they have fur and wings now, but they don't fly because dogs walk. The poor neighbor desperately tried to follow her rambling, but got lost. Then I had to explain without laughing, but I'm talking about dogs who have died and it isn't funny, but it is sort of funny. Anyway, we're slowly getting used to life with one dog. It's an adjustment for all of us.

***

The start of kindergarten is drawing near. This week we pick up our registration packet, next week we register, then August 28, La Nina starts school. I can't believe this date that always sounded so far off is now two weeks away. We need to go shopping for her first day of school clothes. And I'm curious...do you remember what you wore to school on your very first day? I do. It was a green dress with this really cool little vest and the shirt underneth it had little flowers. I asked the Dad and he has no recollection of his clothes the first day of school. If you remember yours, drop me a note. I wonder how many people remember.

That's it for me.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

A Loss

Last night was a sad one for us. We chose to euthanize our dog, Hops, to prevent her from suffering any longer. She was 14. Whenever you invest time,energy and love into another creature, the loss of it is always sad whether it's a dog, cat or gerbil. But when your kids have invested that same love, the experience takes on a different dimension.

Yesterday, when I knew that it was time, I spoke to the vet about how to prepare La Nina and the Magster for the impending death. She recommended letting the girls say goodbye, and maybe draw a picture or something that could go with Hops. Before the girls went to bed, we told them that it was Hops' last night.

La Nina, at 5, took the news hard. Her eyes welled up with tears and she protested injustice of the inevitable. She bravely went into the yard, bid her farewells and cried on our shoulders about the unfairness of the situation. I held her tight and did my best to comfort her. The Magster, at 3.5, also bravely went into the back yard. She told Hops she loved her, said goodbye then she became the designated wailer. No one cried louder or longer than Maggie, once she realize that her sister and I were crying. But there were no tears. She sat next to me and made a lot of noise, but she didn't really grasp the finality of the situation.

As the vet suggested, I offered La Nina the opportunity to draw a picture for Hops to take on her way with her. The idea was that the picture would be cremated with Hops and therefore, a piece of us would go with her. I thought the idea a nice sentiment. However, my daughter had an issue with the concept.

"But Mom, Hops doesn't have hands, so how will she hold the picture on her way to heaven?" she wanted to know.

Ok...good question, so much for the psychologists! "Well," I answered, struggling for the right words. "The doctor who will help her will hold the picture and keep it safe."

"Is the doctor going to heaven?"

"No, just Hops."

"Then, no picture, Mom. Hops can't hold it."

Ok, then. No pictures for us! We tucked the girls in and they fell asleep. The vet came to the house late and very compassionately helped our dog on her way.

When the kids awoke this morning they were full of questions and sadness, but really, nothing unexpected. From time to time today, La Nina asked questions, but nothing overwhelming. The Magster was very focused on the other dogs and cats she knew that had died, but really didn't seem phased by the whole episode.

As for me, Hops was my dog. I picked her out. I trained her. She kept me company for many years. Together we hiked a lot of miles. She was a good, sweet companion. She's been sick for sometime and as difficult as last night was, I take comfort in the fact that she had a good life and in the end, the best death I could give her. We'll miss her terribly.

Friday, August 03, 2007

The Very Bad Parent

Ok, so tonight, I was a bad parent. It isn't a first, but I ususally don't do things like this. It was family night, movie night, which we do on Friday nights, and I just couldn't face Cinderella, Belle, Aurora, Ariel or Jasmine. We've been working so hard to get back into the house and tonight was the first time I sat down to just enjoy it for awhile. The girls were arguing about which princess movie to watch and I vetoed anything Disney. I showed my kids Grease.

Ok, it was totaly inappropriate for their ages, just in case you're wondering. Really, I'm not sure if it's so great for twelve year olds...which is how old I was the first time I saw it. But I still love it. The singing, the dancing, the wild staging...how can you not love it. And I'm hopeful the bad part of the movie went over their heads. But then again, who knows what they know?

Despite my grave concerns regarding my parenting skills, it was still a really fun movie. The girls shushed me a million times for singing to the music. But I couldn't help myself: Hopelessly Devoted, Summer Lovin', Greased Lightin", who can resist singing along? AND by the end of the movie, they were asking to hear the songs again.