Normalcy Restored

As of 4:30am, La Nina's fingers are back in her mouth and normalcy has been restored.

The Real Issue: No More Fingers

La Nina is fighting yet another bug. I could spend my blog time lamenting my lack of sleep or the difficulty comforting a sick almost 3 year old, but the real issue this illness is forcing on our family: La Nina has had to give up sucking her fingers. La Nina, our determined finger sucker, hasn't had a finger in her mouth in 36 hours. This is probably the longest drought of finger sucking since her conception-finger sucking is something that begins in utero for most kids. All I know is that she was sucking her fingers with us in China, it was one of the traits her referral paperwork described.

While she was uncomfortable from her virus last night, the real problem was she couldn't figure out how to sleep without her fingers in her mouth. She was so tired, but she just needed something to do with her hands. Once she did fall asleep, she woke up screaming every two hours because she started sucking her fingers in her sleep and it hurt. Poor baby.

Today, all day, she would feel sick, put her fingers in her mouth, scream, whimper and ask for another Dora. Milk shakes, popsicles, ice cream were all refused, because she really only wanted those fingers. (Of course, Maggie sucked back 3 milk shakes her sister refused, but that is another story.)

My curiosity is if this illness is going to break her finger sucking habit. Personally, I have never had a problem with her sucking her fingers. I figure she won't go to high school sucking her fingers, and it is kind of cute at this age. I am a sad this trait from babyhood could be gone before her 3rd birthday. She is getting to be such a big girl in every other way, I hate to give up anymore of my baby. At the same time, I suppose better this way than through taunts at school.

The Challenge of Reading

One of my fondest childhood memories is of my parents reading to me. As a parent, reading to La Nina has been a nightly ritual that we have enjoyed ever since we arrived home from China. La Nina will sit quietly and listen to books long after she has exhausted both of her parents ability to read to her.

So, given my predisposition to read, you would think reading to the Magster would be a natural. However, reading to Maggie presents unique challenges. You see, Maggie is only silent when she sleeps. When I sit down to read to Maggie, she mimics me and we end up in a shouting match. Maggie also gets so excited by a story or picture, that she will stop 'reading' and begin pounding the book with a zeal that literally knocks the book out of my hands. What is a mother to do with a child that displays such disruptive enthusiasm?

Because Maggie is still learning English, reading is a great way to expand her vocabulary, but she never listens to the act of reading. When the pediatrician asked if we were reading, I explained my little problem and he chuckled. After the tale of Maggie and the Lab, I think nothing my daughter does will shock this doctor. He suggested that eventually she would figure out the words were worth listening to, but I am doubtful. I am determined to read to this child for 45 minutes a day, but it is turning into 45 minutes of squealing, pounding and impish grunting, with a few of my words mixed into the racket. I will prevail in this task, but Heaven help both of us!

The Joys of Giving Back

We had so much fun tonight. Some friends have decided to adopt from China, so we had them over for dinner, introduced them to the girls, showed them our trips pictures and videos, and answered their questions. I think we enjoyed the evening more than they did.

While we were waiting for La Nina, several families helped us. I will never forget the family who invited us to their home and shared their trip tales with us before we adopted La Nina or the family I called in a panic to help me pack. Those families soothed my nerves so much. Meeting their daughters was reassuring. Whenever we spend time with a waiting family I think of the families who helped us so much and I am grateful again they were there for us.

It is also amazing the number of babies from China being adopted in this area. In the past 2 years, we have talked to at least 5 families and helped them prepare for their trips. And those are just the families we have met. I know there are many, many more. Before adopting La Nina, I knew of only a handful of families...now there are dozens.

Helping waiting families is fun for us: we get to relive our adoptions. Watching our videos tonight, we were able to see La Nina as a baby. She has changed so much in the last 2+ years. She is a little girl now. Hard to believe. We also showed them our Maggie video. I still can't get over how frightened she was when we met her. Maggie's transformation over the last 90 days is unbelievable. If you would have told me on November 16 that Maggie would be a happy, outgoing toddler by February 18, I don't think I would have believed it.

We are so excited there is another country "cousin" coming home to Pleasanton. We can't wait to meet her!

Maggie, mommy and daddy cut the cake

Carly, Maggie and Cole chillin' out after a long day of partying

Tio and Carly practice their "Rock and Roll!"

Maggie gets ready to cruise around Curt and Stacy's yard

Maggie and mommy share a moment together at the party

Nana and Maggie at the Napa "Welcome Home" party. Nice hat!

The Paper Work Begins Again

Since we have been home almost 3 months I should probably start some of the post adoption paperwork. I have 3 things I need to get for Maggie: A Social Security Card, A Delayed Registration of Birth Certificate and a US Passport.

I started today with the Social Security Card. I downloaded the instructions and the necessary forms in order to size up the challenge. The first hurdle is Maggie has to apply in person. Maggie in a social security office is going to be a challenge. I can feel the stares already. Maggie is loud and active, she is certain to create a scene that will leave me apologizing to the other patrons.

Next, the instructions say I need to "establish" proof of Maggie and mine's "continued existence." I realize they are probably trying to stop identity theft, but proof of my existence? OK, if we go in person to the social security office, isn't that proof we exist? Do I really exist if I never leave my house because my children are sick? Do I really exist if I fail to speak to anyone over the age of almost 3 for an entire day? How does anyone know I exist if they don't see me or speak to me? This clause could be subject to interpretation.

Finally we need to complete a form and prove our age and identity. It states very clearly that a birth certificate is not proof of identity, but a driver's license, a passport, a marriage record, etc. all serve as proof fo identity. Didn't I use my birth certificate to prove my identity for those items? I think I did.

As for proof of Maggie's identity, valid identifying documents include Adoption Records, Certificate of Citizenship, Hospital Record, Baptismal Certificate or School records. My adoption records are in Mandarin. I have a Kaiser Card for her, but I provided Kaiser with no proof of Maggie's birth or adoption. It only includes the month and year of her birth. How does that prove her identity? Maggie isn't baptized yet, but I know the church doesn't ask for any proof of identity. School records are tough if your child isn't in school. So this will all come down to her Certificate of Citizenship. I hope it works, it is all I have.

Ok, I will stop whining about Social Security, because it isn't a big deal. After completing the paperwork to adopt Maggie, the Social Security process is a piece of cake. With La Nina, the process took an afternoon and a couple of weeks later she had a social security number. The only thing I am worried about is the continued existence clause. Many days I think that is completely questionable.

Making Cookies with The Girls

La Nina, Maggie and I made cookies for Valentine's gifts over the past couple of days. There is nothing quite like making cookies with a 3 year old. It is fun and frustrating all at once. Making Chocolate Chip Cookies is easy; I measure the ingrediants, La Nina dumps the ingrediants in a bowl, I mix, La Nina licks the beaters while I put the cookies on a pan for baking. Easy. The challenge is baking sugar cookies with an almost 3 year old.

For Valentine's, I found these heart cookie cutter and festive decorations at my favorite store, Target. Yesterday, I strategically planned our baking to coincide with Maggie's nap. I dreamed up a simple system: I rolled the dough and La Nina cut the dough into hearts. Sounds like a good system, but dough maximization doesn't occur to a 3 year old. La Nina regularly ignored my advice to start on the edge and would plop her cookie cutter into the middle of the dough. Then she would pick it up, move it a 1/4 of an inch and cut again and again and again, ruining the majority of the roll. I tried and tried to guide her, but she repeated her cutting technique joyfully ignoring me. Eventually, I resorted to a Seinfeld-esque "Serenity now", and allowed her to have fun. I don't know how many times I rerolled dough needlessly, but this was supposed to be fun, right?

After baking a couple dozen sugar yesterday, today we decorated our Valentine's for gifts. Again, always an adventure with La Nina and today we had Maggie's help. The system I envisioned was I frost, La Nina spreads the sprinkles. La Nina had other ideas. La Nina wanted to spread frosting. Then, Maggie was to decorate. It is safe to say that Maggie ate more frosting than La Nina spread on the cookies and the majority of the decorations are on my kitchen floor. I tried to control Maggie, but she was grunting in joy as she sucked the frosting off of cookies and dumped sprinkles on the floor. I don't know how much frosting Maggie ate, before I stopped the sugar madness by putting the frosting away. We did get enough cookies decorated to deliver to Grandparents as gifts, but the kitchen paid the price.

In the end, the kitchen floor was licked clean by Pete (the dog) and the counters were easily wiped down. So, the mess didn't matter. Cookie baking is the one craft La Nina always enjoys. And Lord knows, Maggie likes anything that involves sugar. Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's Day, mommy!

What a Week!

I had one of those weeks. You know the type: It doesn't seem like you have much going on, then all of a sudden, it is Saturday night, your house is trashed and you are wondering what you did on Thursday, because you really can't remember Thursday. I have this theory: As Monday goes, your weeks goes. So, if your Monday is bad, then your week follows suit. On Monday this week, La Nina woke up with a cold and told me she didn't feel well enough to go to school. It messed up my rhythm having her home unexpectedly, especially when she wasn't that sick. I spent the rest of the week recovering. Here are some of the highlights/lowlights from my week:

Maggie's 15 month checkup: We saw the doctor for Maggie's 15 month well baby visit. She really didn't like being back in the doctor's office. She wailed like a banchee at first but settled down. She has gained a bunch of weight. She went from the 10th percentile in weight to the 25 percentile in weight in 2 months. For Maggie, this was excellent progress, I just hope my weight is going up like that! She is continues to be a normal healthy baby. We are so fortunate! She was due for 3 shots, and they made her feverish and cranky for the next 3 days. Always fun to have a teething baby get shots!

Trip to the library: I had a moment that people just don't tell you about when you become a parent. We were at the library and I had the girls loaded into the double stroller. As usual, Maggie was sporting a scab under her eye, the reminent of a collision with a kitchen chair. I was checking out the books and the girls were giggling in the stroller. I remember thinking, isn't it lovely they get along so well? After checking out the books, I headed to the van. In the parking lot, I pull the stroller up to Maggie's side of the van and unload her first from the stroller. It is then I notice that Maggie has reopened the cut under her eye and blood is trickling down her face. I mutter to Maggie, "Now, what did you do to yourself?" La Nina, still in the stroller chirps, "I did it. I didn't like that on her face, so I took it off." La Nina then hands me the scab. La Nina had literally ripped the scab off of her sister's face for reasons of vanity. I was so shocked, that I was left speechless. I finally stammered out a scolding to La Nina, but I know it didn't phase her. Can you believe it? Ick!

Nana manages the dynamic duo twice: I had a couple of appointments this week, and Nana spent two afternoons watching the girls. Nana did great. Maggie is getting better about being left, so it is nice for me to get a little freedom.

Now that the Hop Yard renovation is complete and both of our dad's are on the mend, it looks like we should be ready to gear up for Maggie's welcome parties, La Nina's birthday extravaganza and Maggie's first long weekend away.

Happy New Year!

Today is the first day of the Chinese New Year. The Year is 4703 on the Lunar Calendar and it is the Year of the Rooster. This is the biggest holiday on the Chinese calendar, so we make sure we recognize it in our household.

Tonight we had Chinese food for dinner. After traveling in China, I am always a little torn on the local Chinese food. Most people in town wouldn't care for authentic Chinese, so all the local places cater to American tastes. There is one authentic place in Pleasanton, but I was too tired to drive across town, so we ordered from our favorite "suburban" place. It was SO good. I think this is the first time we had Chinese food since getting home in November. The girls wolfed down their chow mein, and La Nina used trainer chop sticks for the first time. Maggie used her hands, but we assured La Nina it was ok because she was only one.

After dinner, we handed out the red envelops. The Chinese tradition is that adults give children and unmarried people "lucky" money in red envelops to symbolize prosperity and the sharing of good fortune in the coming year. I know Maggie didn't get it, but La Nina knew that money went in the piggy bank. This is a step up from last year when La Nina ran through the house with $1 in each hand.

While I drove to pickup the Chinese food for our family celebration, I wondered what the girls birth parents were doing to celebrate the holiday. I know in China this is a holiday of reunion, so I can reasonably assume the birth families gathered with the paternal side of the family if it was possible. The families most likely gathered for a meal. Perhaps there were traditional tangerines or maybe candied fruits left as an offering to the kitchen god. Were there red envelops? Whole Chickens? Whole Fish? Round pastries representing wholeness? The holiday lasts 2 weeks in China. Will they be celebrating the whole time? Just a dinner? Will they go to a parade? What are their holiday traditions?

It made me a little sad to know that maybe they were thinking of my girls today. I wish I could tell them how much we love our girls. I wish I could tell them our girls are doing well and getting big. I wish I could tell them thank you for their courage. I wish there was some way for me to let them know I think of them often.

So, on this New Year's Day, I hope somehow, some way, the universe can carry my New Year's wishes to 4 people who gave me so much and to whom I am able to give so little.

A Weekend: The Bad and The Good

The Bad Day

Start with a Mom who was awake every 3 hours all night long and is exhausted. Now, make sure Dad can't help her because he is renovating his business.

Begin the bad day at 5:20AM when two little girls decide to wake up. Mom tells the older girl the plans for the day include a trip to Farmer's Market and a Birthday party over breakfast. Since the little girl was awake so early, it is logical that she begins her morning nap 15 minutes before the Farmer's Market opens, so that the family cannot leave as planned. As Mom scrambles to keep the bigger girl distracted, make sure the girl gets pen all over her shirt, tries to use the scissors on her new pants, then refuses to pick up the paper she has shredded on the floor.

The little girl wakes up from her nap in a snit, needs a snack and another diaper change. As Mom watches the clock, the older child refuses to put on her shoes. Time passes to the point where it will be impossible to go to the Farmer's Market, have lunch and make the party at 1pm. The bigger girl melts down over not getting popcorn and a balloon from the clown at the Farmer's Market, but it seems a good consequence for not cooperating. Mom sends the older girl to her room to settle down where she promptly falls asleep...at 11:30AM. Assuming a 2 hour nap and lunch, party attendance for this family is now in jeopardy. The Mom, who is very tired, now must keep the younger girl distracted while the older girl sleeps.

The older girl sleeps for 3 hours, wakes up and asks about the party, which ended at 2:30pm. The older girls weeps in disappointment for a second time as the Mom explains she slept through the party. Mom consoles her by saying we will go visit the birthday boy, deliver his present and have cake, but the little one falls asleep while the older one is eating lunch, so leaving is delayed again and Mom is distracting a waiting child again. About 4:30pm, the Mom both kids are awake, fed, changed and ready to go. She loads the kids and the gift into the van, but the van has a dead battery. You see, the van has headlights that automatically turn off, unless you leave a door open. It is hard to remember to close the door when you have to unload two sleeping girls from a van.

Mom doesn't cry, even though frustration and exhaustion leaves her in tears. She gets a neighbor to start recharging her battery, but realizes there will be no visit to the birthday boy which makes the older girl cry a third time. The Mom takes the kids inside, gives them dinner, followed by a "birthday" cookie and survives the rest of the night.

The Good Day

Both kids sleep through the night and no one in the house stirs until almost 7AM. Of course the girls are exhausted from the torture they heaped on Mom the day before, but at least Mom gets to start the day rested.

As if she knows the plan, the little girl takes her morning nap starting at 9AM and awakes at 10AM, which is perfect, because Mom has arranged for NanaPapa to give her a much needed 2 hour break. NanaPapa arrive as planned, Mom leaves as planned. This is the first time Mom has left the little one for more than 30 minutes, and the little one takes the new experience in stride.

Mom hikes with Pete the dog for an hour and grocery shops without the help of children. It is delightful and she is very grateful again that she has family nearby to help.

Both girls fall asleep within 15 minutes of each just after 1pm, guaranteeing they will be awake in time to make the Superbowl party. Mom gets to take a shower, do some laundry and get ready for the party without the help of the kids. Both girls wake up in great moods. They get ready to leave the house without any fuss.

The family attends a Superbowl party with friends, where both kids behave themselves and play nicely with others. Finally, both girls go to bed on time without drama. Wow! What a great day! I think we should adopt more children it is so easy....HA!

Born to Dance!

We have the good fortune of living across the street from a very generous neighbor, who's 5 year old daughter decided she didn't like dancing lessons. Thanks to this neighbor, La Nina was handed a dance bag that included tights, leotards, ballet shoes, tap shoes and a tutu. She was thrilled and has been intrigued about dance lessons since receiving the dance kit. After seeing the girls dancing at the Between the New Year's Party, La Nina has been begging for dance lessons.

Since I was planning to find her some sort of an activity class, I called a few dance studios earlier this week and found an opening in a class that took kids over 2.5 years. The teacher was wonderful and allowed La Nina to preview the class without committing to a series.

So, off we went to La Nina's first dance lesson: Me, La Nina and the Magster. La Nina was decked out in her full dance outfit and looked adorable. The Magster decked out in her overalls looked devilish. I tried my best to explain dance lessons to La Nina in the van on the way to the class, but she shocked me by asking about chickens. Yes, you read it correctly. Chickens. La Nina wanted to know if she could pet the chickens at her dance class. In fact, she wanted to know if the chickens lived upstairs or in the barn. After trying in vain to explain jazz and tap classes didn't involve chickens, I realized perhaps La Nina was a little confused on the dance class concept.

As for the class itself, La Nina was intrigued, but overwhelmed. She is very young for the class and it was a stretch for her. She loved the music and looking at her self in the mirror, but she was intimidated by the structure. She did a couple of little steps every now and then, but she spent most of the class with her fingers in her mouth, watching from the sidelines. For her the high point of the class was the treat at the end.

Keeping the Magster contained for 45 minutes was hell. If her sister was reluctant to get out on the dance floor, Maggie had no such reservations. She couldn't wait to dance with the big girls. Every chance she got, she sprinted onto the dance floor and did a little jig. When she wasn't running into the middle of class, she was in my arms, screaming to get down. I distracted her with some goldfish for awhile, but in all, she was a nut the whole 45 minutes. The parents watching the class found it very amusing, but I didn't really find it all that funny. If La Nina wants to go back to class, we will have to find somewhere for her sister to go.

I don't know if La Nina will have any interest in going back to class. It is her decision. She has been practicing a few of the steps around the house, so I know she is intrigued...even if she didn't get to pet the chickens. Either way, the sight of my baby dressed in her little dance outfit was worth the pain of taking her sister to class.

Sisters

Obviously, sharing the spotlight has been an adjustment for La Nina, but she has handled it quite gracefully. Now that the initial shock of the change is wearing off, there are signs that the girls really beginning to enjoy each other. Maggie spontaneously hugs and even kisses La Nina and lately, La Nina hugs her back.

I tried to put the two of girls down for a nap in the same room today. As I left, I heard the room erupt in giggles. Through a crack in the door, I could see the Magster was hamming it up for La Nina, who was on the floor squealing in delight. After about 5 minutes, I heard a very tired La Nina tell Maggie, "Stop now, Maggie, I am very tired." Maggie's response? Like all little sisters, she threw her blanket at La Nina and kept on going. When I saved La Nina from her sister a few minutes later, La Nina looked up at me and said, "Thanks Mom. Maggie can be very silly." So true.

La Nina enjoys running to the bedroom to say "Good Morning, Maggie Monster" to her sister. When Maggie wakes up crying during the night, I frequently find La Nina standing next to Maggie's crib, doing her best to soothe her. Now in the bath tub, the girls actually play with each other and La Nina is getting less sensitive about getting water in her eyes. Sisterly love seems to be second nature for these two and I feel so lucky to watch it evolve during my days with them.

It is such a joy to stand outside their room and hear them giggling. Or to catch La Nina "reading" Maggie a story. Or to watch them share a meal--literally. The glimpses of togetherness make all the times when I have to tell La Nina to be gentle with Maggie worth it!