30 cookies, 2 kids and 1 70 lb. dog

Sunday was our church's first ever Blessing of the Animals. This blessing is a tradition handed down from Franciscan monks. Without getting into a lot of history, it's just a nice ceremony where you take your pets and they receive a blessing.

But here's the reality, pets come in all shapes and sizes. Imagine a church grotto filled with dogs, cats, turtles, rabbits, snakes, hamsters, chickens and plants. (Yep, some people bring plants.) Now, consider if you will the food chain, and you'll realize attending this ceremony is really a leap of faith.

We have a dog, Pete. He's a 70 lbs. Australian Shepherd. Really, he's a beautiful dog. When we got him as a puppy, he was nicknamed "wicked". The breeder assured us he would settle down by the time he was 5. He's now 10 and we're still waiting. I rarely mention him in this blog. Not because he isn't a big part of our family, but because he is a menace to society. You would be horrified by his behavior. He steals food from the kids. He jumps on the kitchen table if I don't watch him. He rummages through any trash left open and thinks nothing of tormenting animals smaller than him...especially cats, squirrels and lizards.

Normally, I would never take this beast to a blessing. Oh, he needs a little God in his life, but really, he likes his sinning ways. I don't think he's going to reform at this age...so why inflict him on the good God faring pets of this world? But then, the kids got wind of this event...and a determined Magster is a force of nature bigger than me, so off we went to the Blessing of the Animals.

I offered to volunteer for this event, since I had to attend and I figured I could get the kids to hand out programs or something. But nope: I was assigned to bring cookies. Okay, I can manage a dog, I can manage 2 kids, but 3o cookies with the dog and kids. Now that's a religious experience. I got everything baked, packed and sealed in plastic. I sniffed the cookie container to make sure it was smell proof and I handed it to La Nina. The dog still outweighs her by 10 lbs, but I thought she would have a fighting chance if he got wind of the cookies. Besides the Magster and cookies are a very bad combination. I also packed some dog treats, some pooper scooper bags, water and a leash and I handed that bag to Maggie. I figured she could handle the dog treats...wrong she fed the dog all to the treats in the 3 minute car ride to the church.

I approached the church with the dog on a leash, La Nina with the cookies and the Magster with pooper scooper bags and water. My stomach was in knots. Church is about faith, so I bravely entered the animal fray and took a spot in the area labeled "Large Dogs". We were safely away from the cat section, no where near the bunnies, but dangerously near the chickens...which is really just a 7 lb., feathered covered doggie treat to a dog like mine.

I sat with my dog next to a fierce looking bull mastiff and a sweet looking lab. And things started well. Really they did. There was some polite sniffing, some tail wagging, but really nothing to even generate a correction from me. Until my friend showed up with her chicken and set it's box about 2 feet from my dog. His nose flew into the air and he began whining. His butt started shaking and before I knew it he was lunged at the box. I jerked him back with all of my might and I pulled the collar right over his head. Seriously, that chicken's life flashed before my eyes...and Pete's too I would guess. I moved so fast getting that leash back on that dog, it was superhuman.

In the end, Pete was blessed, the chicken got darn lucky and I didn't actually swear in church. A good day was had by all.