And I Chose This?
The following happened between 9:45AM and 6PM, Wednesday, May 18.
9:45AM- I tell La Nina for the 712th time to put on her shoes so we can go to the park for a picnic after we stop by Whole Foods for some wheat-free crackers for Maggie.
10:00AM- Loading the van, I notice La Nina's shoe selection is a pair of pink sandals without socks. Given the current weather, this is not going to work, but since she finally had on shoes, I run back to the house, grab appropriate shoes and leave.
10:20AM- Pull into Wholefoods and La Nina immediately begins whining about the park. This is a quick trip, I reassure her, as I load Maggie into the cart. I explain to La Nina that she can stay out of the cart, if she stays next to me and doesn't touch anything, she agrees.
10:30AM- As I am reading a label to make sure the cracker I am buying doesn't have wheat, La Nina pushes the cart with her sister in it into an aisle, narrowly missing an older woman with a cane. After a profuse apology to the elderly woman, I load La Nina into the cart. She goes ballistic. The woman gives me a dirty look.
10:35AM- From the cart, La Nina loudly announces she has to go potty really bad, I scramble to find the restroom.
10:40AM- Despite signs advising me not to do it, I take the whole cart into the restroom. That way I don't have to unload Maggie and my purse. When I leave the restroom, I am greeted by the store manager who advises me it is against store policy to take entire carts into the restroom. I explain the situation and he nods sympathetically. La Nina asks, "Who was that boy, Mommy? What did he want? Why did he talk to you?"
10:45AM- My quick trip to the store is complete. I load the van. The whining for a park begins the minute I clip La Nina into her car seat.
10:51AM- We arrive at the park
.
10:52AM- A crushed La Nina notes there is no big girl swing at this park.
10:53AM- LaNina begins complaining of hunger.
10:54AM- I feed La Nina a yogurt and some recently purchased rice crackers.
11:00AM- La Nina again glumly notes the lack of big girl swings.
11:02AM- La Nina complains she is starving. I offer her a healthy, wheat-free snack bar that she refuses. I eat it. I thought it tasted pretty good.
11:05AM- La Nina starts rifling through the picnic bag. I advise her to go play, NOW!
11:07AM- La Nina again complains of hunger, I again offer her a healthy snack bar, she again refuses and asks for more yogurt. I explain the remaining yogurts are for Maggie and I. She starts helping herself. I advise her if I have to talk to her again about this behavior we will leave the park.
11:08AM- La Nina advises me she is starving and tries to open the picnic bag. I tell her we are going home. As I grab the picnic basket, La Nina throws herself on the bag and begins crying and kicking her feet. I put the basket over my arm, pick up the now hysterical La Nina and head to the van. Maggie follows along with someone else's bucket and shovel.
11:15AM- La Nina is calm enough for me to strap into her car seat. I toss the bucket and shovel out of the van, and screech my tires as I pull out of the park. In my rear view mirror I note several wide eyed Moms in my dust.
11:20AM- Both girls fall asleep. This is a very bad sign.
11:35AM- We arrive home. Maggie wakes up and happily gets out of the car, runs to the garage and begins playing. La Nina wakes up and begins screaming the minute she sees the house. She has an "accident" in the car seat. I unstrap the wet La Nina, climb into the van and start to unbuckle the car seat. I hear a crash and then see a blur of red go past the van. Maggie has fallen off of La Nina's trike, she is screaming in the driveway, the trike is careening out of control into the court. La Nina proudly announces from the garage, she didn't do that.
11:45AM- I start washing the car seat cover. Maggie is calm, La Nina is dry, I am exhausted and dreaming of going back to work, but I QUIT MY JOB! WHY DIDN'T SOMEONE STOP ME?
Noon- Maggie eats her lunch. La Nina tells me she isn't hungry and picks at her grapes.
12:30pm- I clear the lunch plates, change a dirty diaper.
12:45pm- La Nina is starving again. I serve her the same food, she eats a little more.
1:00pm- Move car seat cover to the drier. Advise La Nina it is nap time, she replies she is hungry.
2:00PM- No one is napping. La Nina is laying on the couch staring at the ceiling. Whenever I tell her it is nap time, she says she is hungry. I put Maggie in her crib, she starts screaming.
3:00PM- Since Maggie has screamed for an hour without resting, I decide it is safe to assume she isn't going to nap and pick her up. I call a friend and ask if it is wrong to start drinking at 3pm. After she stops laughing at my day, she advises me it isn't good to drink alone. I put the Tequila away.
3:15Pm- I offer La Nina a snack. She eats apples slices, booty and drinks some vegetable juice. Maggie throws hers on the floor. Apparently, she didn't approve of the vegetable juice.
3:30PM- I reinstall the now clean car seat while answering La Nina's questions about why I had to clean it.
3:40PM- I load kids in car to flee the house.
3:45PM- I look in my mirror: Maggie doesn't have on shoes and La Nina is finally asleep.
3:50PM- We arrive at the shop, I have to wake up La Nina and she is not happy.
4:00PM- Errand complete, everyone is back in the van. I had to explain 5xs "No, she didn't drop her shoes. Please don't look for them."
4:10PM- We are home, everyone is asleep. Sleep at this hour is a very bad omen for my evening, so I wake them both up. If it weren't for the Wiggles, I think the girls would still be screaming.
5:00PM- I realize that Dad ate dinner for breakfast and I have no dinner.
5:30PM- Dad walks in, asks about my day, I give him a dirty look. He hugs me, which makes both girls start screaming. "That explains my day" I say to him.
5:59PM- La Nina walks into the kitchen and announces she swallowed Cinderella's shoe. I just started laughing. I check out the size of the remaining shoe, and determine there is no need for the emergency room. I explain the digestive system to La Nina. She complains for the rest of the night her coo hurts.
If I have another day like this, I will be job hunting by Monday.
9:45AM- I tell La Nina for the 712th time to put on her shoes so we can go to the park for a picnic after we stop by Whole Foods for some wheat-free crackers for Maggie.
10:00AM- Loading the van, I notice La Nina's shoe selection is a pair of pink sandals without socks. Given the current weather, this is not going to work, but since she finally had on shoes, I run back to the house, grab appropriate shoes and leave.
10:20AM- Pull into Wholefoods and La Nina immediately begins whining about the park. This is a quick trip, I reassure her, as I load Maggie into the cart. I explain to La Nina that she can stay out of the cart, if she stays next to me and doesn't touch anything, she agrees.
10:30AM- As I am reading a label to make sure the cracker I am buying doesn't have wheat, La Nina pushes the cart with her sister in it into an aisle, narrowly missing an older woman with a cane. After a profuse apology to the elderly woman, I load La Nina into the cart. She goes ballistic. The woman gives me a dirty look.
10:35AM- From the cart, La Nina loudly announces she has to go potty really bad, I scramble to find the restroom.
10:40AM- Despite signs advising me not to do it, I take the whole cart into the restroom. That way I don't have to unload Maggie and my purse. When I leave the restroom, I am greeted by the store manager who advises me it is against store policy to take entire carts into the restroom. I explain the situation and he nods sympathetically. La Nina asks, "Who was that boy, Mommy? What did he want? Why did he talk to you?"
10:45AM- My quick trip to the store is complete. I load the van. The whining for a park begins the minute I clip La Nina into her car seat.
10:51AM- We arrive at the park
.
10:52AM- A crushed La Nina notes there is no big girl swing at this park.
10:53AM- LaNina begins complaining of hunger.
10:54AM- I feed La Nina a yogurt and some recently purchased rice crackers.
11:00AM- La Nina again glumly notes the lack of big girl swings.
11:02AM- La Nina complains she is starving. I offer her a healthy, wheat-free snack bar that she refuses. I eat it. I thought it tasted pretty good.
11:05AM- La Nina starts rifling through the picnic bag. I advise her to go play, NOW!
11:07AM- La Nina again complains of hunger, I again offer her a healthy snack bar, she again refuses and asks for more yogurt. I explain the remaining yogurts are for Maggie and I. She starts helping herself. I advise her if I have to talk to her again about this behavior we will leave the park.
11:08AM- La Nina advises me she is starving and tries to open the picnic bag. I tell her we are going home. As I grab the picnic basket, La Nina throws herself on the bag and begins crying and kicking her feet. I put the basket over my arm, pick up the now hysterical La Nina and head to the van. Maggie follows along with someone else's bucket and shovel.
11:15AM- La Nina is calm enough for me to strap into her car seat. I toss the bucket and shovel out of the van, and screech my tires as I pull out of the park. In my rear view mirror I note several wide eyed Moms in my dust.
11:20AM- Both girls fall asleep. This is a very bad sign.
11:35AM- We arrive home. Maggie wakes up and happily gets out of the car, runs to the garage and begins playing. La Nina wakes up and begins screaming the minute she sees the house. She has an "accident" in the car seat. I unstrap the wet La Nina, climb into the van and start to unbuckle the car seat. I hear a crash and then see a blur of red go past the van. Maggie has fallen off of La Nina's trike, she is screaming in the driveway, the trike is careening out of control into the court. La Nina proudly announces from the garage, she didn't do that.
11:45AM- I start washing the car seat cover. Maggie is calm, La Nina is dry, I am exhausted and dreaming of going back to work, but I QUIT MY JOB! WHY DIDN'T SOMEONE STOP ME?
Noon- Maggie eats her lunch. La Nina tells me she isn't hungry and picks at her grapes.
12:30pm- I clear the lunch plates, change a dirty diaper.
12:45pm- La Nina is starving again. I serve her the same food, she eats a little more.
1:00pm- Move car seat cover to the drier. Advise La Nina it is nap time, she replies she is hungry.
2:00PM- No one is napping. La Nina is laying on the couch staring at the ceiling. Whenever I tell her it is nap time, she says she is hungry. I put Maggie in her crib, she starts screaming.
3:00PM- Since Maggie has screamed for an hour without resting, I decide it is safe to assume she isn't going to nap and pick her up. I call a friend and ask if it is wrong to start drinking at 3pm. After she stops laughing at my day, she advises me it isn't good to drink alone. I put the Tequila away.
3:15Pm- I offer La Nina a snack. She eats apples slices, booty and drinks some vegetable juice. Maggie throws hers on the floor. Apparently, she didn't approve of the vegetable juice.
3:30PM- I reinstall the now clean car seat while answering La Nina's questions about why I had to clean it.
3:40PM- I load kids in car to flee the house.
3:45PM- I look in my mirror: Maggie doesn't have on shoes and La Nina is finally asleep.
3:50PM- We arrive at the shop, I have to wake up La Nina and she is not happy.
4:00PM- Errand complete, everyone is back in the van. I had to explain 5xs "No, she didn't drop her shoes. Please don't look for them."
4:10PM- We are home, everyone is asleep. Sleep at this hour is a very bad omen for my evening, so I wake them both up. If it weren't for the Wiggles, I think the girls would still be screaming.
5:00PM- I realize that Dad ate dinner for breakfast and I have no dinner.
5:30PM- Dad walks in, asks about my day, I give him a dirty look. He hugs me, which makes both girls start screaming. "That explains my day" I say to him.
5:59PM- La Nina walks into the kitchen and announces she swallowed Cinderella's shoe. I just started laughing. I check out the size of the remaining shoe, and determine there is no need for the emergency room. I explain the digestive system to La Nina. She complains for the rest of the night her coo hurts.
If I have another day like this, I will be job hunting by Monday.
posted by One Lucky Mom @ 8:09 PM
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