In other news...

I've started to post a blog at least a dozen times since last week, but nothing posted because I was too tired or too distracted or interrupted by some task I forgot to do. May be this one will get out if I keep things short and sweet.

School started last week for the kids. The Magster's in first grade, La Nina in second. They both seem happy in their classes and are reconnecting with friends, learning new classroom routines and enjoying the resumption of their routines. We're optimistic both girls are going to have great years. The beginning of the school year was a bit anticlimactic for me as I've been working. So really, all it did was take a way a worry. I now know the girls are happy, the dad can work and the house will stay relatively clean all day long.

In other news, soccer is in full swing. I'm coaching the Magster's team again this year. Our team name is the Daffodils. After four practices, the girls are looking good. There's still a little confusion regarding which way to kick the ball, but that will continue for many weeks. The season doesn't kick off until September 12, but I predict we'll have a decent year.

In other news, we're eagerly awaiting the audition results for the Nutcracker. La Nina auditioned for her third performance this year. She's a bit worried she's going to be a gingerbread again or even worse, a mouse. I'm sort of hoping she's an angel or a reindeer, but we'll see Tuesday. I've learned anything can happen in those auditions.

In other news, we've been eating the results of our canning adventure and I have to say, the tomato sauce and crushed tomatoes are fantastic. The jam is good too, just somewhere between syrup and jam in terms of consistency. We're already thinking about next year and swearing to switch jam recipes.

I think that's it. There's laundry waiting on the bed for me, so I need to go fold it.

Like Pioneer Women

Yesterday, my mom, my sister, both of my daughters and I decided to try something new. We decided to can. Yep, just like the women from the prairie days, we gathered in my kitchen along with 60 pounds of tomatoes, 6 pounds of blueberries and many pots of boiling water to preserve a bit of summer for the winter.

The girls were full participants in this endeavor. They washed, scored, blanched, peeled and diced many a fruit yesterday. Actually, I was a bit shocked they could participate at the level they did. Of course, Maggie thought no one worked harder than she did, and La Nina skipped out to buy ice and more jars with her Papa the first chance she got. But that's the nature of my daughters. They also learned first hand that tomatoes really go into tomato sauce and that lemon is a natural preservative. We also talked a lot about how canning was the only way some people ate fruits and vegetables during the winter. I don't think this lesson stuck, but we tried.

As much as we researched this adventure, we missed some of the finer points. For instance, those racks really help in the water baths when you install them correctly. The jar lifters work better when you aren't trying to lift jars with the handles. (We figured that one out late in the afternoon after dropping many jars.) The sound of lids popping is musical is a funny sort of way when you're tired. And no one feels like cooking much after canning all day.

What did we get for our efforts? We each received 8 jars of wonderful blueberry syrup. We were trying for jam, but something went array. However, the syrup tastes awesome. Our 18 bottles of crushed tomatoes look like pumpkin juice. (We used heirlooms...probably should have used romas.) Not sure if that worked out so well or not. Our 18 jars of tomato sauce are amazing. I had some for dinner last night. As long as those jars sealed right, we will be dining like queens and kings this winter.

Mostly, we had a wonderful intergenerational experience, I'm sure the girls will not forget. The whole experience was not difficult. Just time consuming and exhausting. And it's always nice to spend the day working on a project with family, sharing stories and laughing. We had so much fun, we hope to make it an annual event.

What's a mother to do?

Well, La Nina is one week into her 2009-2010 dance season. She only had about 33 days off between seasons, but she was very ready to get back into the studio. Her first day in class she learned that we had passed on letting her participate in the studio's big production number and she's been mad as a hornet ever since.

Our studio's production number is quite a spectacle. It includes about 40 dancers ranging in age from 7 to 18. The girls practice together from about an hour a week and sometimes they have weekend practices as well. Usually our studio production number wins all kinds of awards. For La Nina, participating in this dance is recognition that she is no longer a little girl dancer. It screams that she's made it.

Our reasons for refusing the offer were quite simple. She's 7 and we felt 4 days of dance every week was too much. She already dances 3 days a week and I just wasn't ready to toss her in there with the teens. (I will say they are very nice girls...but still) She sees things a bit different. According to her, it's not fair that her friend (only one, I might add) is allowed to dance with the big girls and she is not. She's been carrying on all week about this terrible decision we've made and the lack of fairness in her life. Finally we told her case closed, no more discussion, but she still stewed in silence.

Fast forward to today. She had a friend over playing for most of the day. Of course, she forced her soccer playing friend into one of her old dance costumes and spent most of the day teaching the poor child an old routine...but whatever. They had fun. Tonight when I was tucking her into bed, I asked her if she had fun today. She agreed it was great to spend the day with her buddy. I pointed out to her the girls in the production number had a 4 hour rehearsal today and if she was in the production number, she couldn't have had the play date.

Her response: I'd rather dance than play. She said this in a tone that was completely matter of fact. I have no doubt she was telling me the truth. There wao manipulation attempted and intended. She then told me next year, she wants to do not only the production number but a competitive ballet piece (lyrical, for those of you familiar with dance). And while my head screamed "no way, kid," my mouth said we'll see.

The truth is I want her to be a little girl who happens to dance for a few more years, not a dancer who happens to be a little girl. However, she's definitely driving this cart hard down the dance path and at some point, we're going to have let her really explore this passion, I just hope it isn't next year. As it is, we've forced her to give up piano and soccer for dance. She was happy to oblige. She told me the other day, she'd give up school and her friends for dance if we let her. And I think she meant it.

I know there are some kids who find a passion very young and never waiver. I remember my friend's son at 3 being obsessed with basketball. At 13, he's playing on a State AAU team. My neighbor's son has never played any sport but baseball, by his choice, not theirs. Several of her dance teachers have told me they never tried other activities...not because their parents didn't encourage other activity, but because they had no interest in anything but dance. I hear all these stories and I think, sure that can happen. I just never thought it would be my kid and I'm really starting to fear it is.

My worries about this are so many. I'm worried she will burn out too young if she gets into deep to fast. I worry she'll get some sort of overuse injury if we let her dance without enough rest. I worry she'll miss out on little girl things like play dates and spontaneous trips to ice cream after school. Then I worry what happens if she changes her mind at 12 and regrets missing so many things when she was young. At the same time, what if she's creating the childhood she wants? And what if her vision of childhood only includes dance studios? What if she wants to pursue a career in dance as a studio owner or give Broadway a shot? Should we really be constraining her at 7 when the sky should be the limit? I think 7 is young, but then what is the right age? 9? 12? Man, it's tough.

I've always said I would support a child's passion and I mean it from the bottom of my heart. I support her wholeheartedly. And as she gets older, if she continues down this path, I see sending her to summer workshops and national competitions, if that's what she wants to do. But at 7, I wish she'd just slow down and enjoy being 7. She's got the rest of her life to pursue this whole dance thing.

Reunions

For the second time in three weeks, we're just back from a travel group reunion. If you don't have the good fortune to belong to a travel group, a travel group is the complete strangers you are tossed together with in China when you adopt children together. What's funny is you know all the details of about their kids and very few details about the parents. But you know some very important things: you know, that a person was kind enough to loan you a blanket when you forgot one; you know that a person found a doctor for their child and then told you about it; you know that the mom cried harder than her daughter when they first saw each other.

Then, for the rest of your child's life you have this interesting tie: you know the most important things, but you have gaps. For instance, you often never find out what people do for a living. Sometimes you really aren't clear where people live. Sometimes, you don't know first names, because you've developed amusing nicknames.

Reunions are the times figure all this stuff out. Once a year or every the year, our groups gather and it's a chance for us to reconnect or sometimes connect for the first time. During this round of reunions, we learned that a dad we knew to be creatively talented sings and writes songs, then we were amazed when a big sister from a different family sat down and sang beautifully as well. We visited with a Mom who's fighting cancer and saw the embodiment of toughness and determination. And we had a giggle about someone's big secret.

But no matter what we learn, we learned the most important things in China. These are people who love their girls as much as we love ours. And ultimately, it's that love that is the common bond.