Four Going On Twelve

Some days it is so hard to know what is right with your kids. When to push, when to lay off, it's all so gray. La Nina and I had one of those mornings today. Something for you should know: La Nina hates change. She always has. Changing schedules, changing classrooms, changing beds...the only type of changing she likes is changing her clothes and she does that four times a day..but I digress.

We tried a new gymnastic class a couple of weeks ago and she really liked it. So I called the gym and made the switch official. Then, this morning she told me she didn't want to go to gymnastics. For her, this is out of character. Mondays are the only day I don't pester her to get ready to leave the house. She is usually in her leotard by 7:30 and chomping at the bit to go to her class.

I asked her why she didn't want to go to class. She said that she didn't know anyone and wanted to go to her old class. I told her it's the new class or no class, she answered, "old class." Great, I thought. Something about her protest smelled of her anti-change attitude, so I decided to stay the course.

She stalked off to her room and put a skirt and tee shirt--not a leotard. No big deal, but it was definitely a statement. Anyway, we left on time and she whined the entire drive. Then we got to class and she refused to join the class. I told her she didn't have to participate, but she had to watch. During La Nina's class, Maggie is allowed to walk on the low balance beams and jump in the foam pits. As soon as Carly saw Maggie on a balance beam, she wanted to walk on the beam too. I told her, "No, we're here for your class. You either do your class or sit against the wall." She went back to the wall.

Frustration and self-doubt set in, I felt like a terrible mom. If the kid didn't want to do the class, should I make her? On one hand, I had this sinking feeling La Nina was being a drama queen over the change--'change is part of life--get over it kid.' On the other, I don't want to be one of those mothers who pushes their child too hard--'she's four--is that too young for me to be trying to teach life lessons?' While La Nina sat against the wall, I stewed. Was I doing the right thing?

The other Mom I hang out with at class and was amused by my dilemma. She was even tried to convince La Nina to join the others....it was all to no avail. La Nina just glared at her. Nice...my four year old is glaring at adults, I thought. The other Mom whispered to me, "Oh...you brought your middle schooler today." I started laughing, because I was glad to have the sympathy. La Nina was acting like a twelve year old. Heaven help me!

After about 10 minutes of watching, La Nina stood up and said, "Ok, Mom. I'm ready for class now." She walked out to her class and had a great time. The other Mom and I were blown away. In a flash, she went from pouty twelve year old to joyful four year old. How does that happen? The Mom commented that I had made the right decision with La Nina. I think I did too.

But it just left me wondering...what is right? Do you listen to the protests? Do you take disposition into account? It's really hard to know. Today, it felt like a day to push. I don't know if I will do the same thing tomorrow. And heaven help me if the teens years have already hit!