Why is this a good idea?

Ok, let's say you heard about parents involving their children in an activity that included knives and carving comic faces into large orange squashes. Would you think this a good idea? Or would you think those parents are nuts? Let me tell you, after two nights carving pumpkins with two kids, those parents are nuts.

Boy this year, there is just no hiding on this Halloween stuff. And both La Nina and Maggie want to be involved in every aspect of the preparation for the holiday, including the pumpkin carving. So, last night we set about carving our four pumpkins...one for each member of the family. Sounds perfectly normal? Sublimely suburban scene, right? Until you really think about it: The parents are wielding knives and the children sticking their faces practically into the pumpkins to get a better look.

I thought those little kits would be safer, so I bought a couple. WRONG! I let La Nina help poke holes on one of the designs. Then the Magster wanted a turn. It seemed ok I realized the kids were using something like a minature ice pick to poke holes in a pattern on a pumpkin. They loved it, but with every poke I was sure next one is going to be in their sister's eye.

After carving two pumpkins last night, my nerves were toast so we declared an end to our efforts and postponed until tonight. We tried a different approach tonight: we let each girl draw a picture on the pumpkin and we carved that. It worked well for one child, not the other. I won't name names, but someone really wanted stars for eyes and a heart nose. Daddy had to put his foot down. There were tears and I noticed a heart nose compromise.

You know its funny, I remember watching my dad carve pumpkins, but I don't remember it being a death defying event like it was in our household for the past two days. I'm happy to report we survived the whole ordeal with 40 fingers still attached and no bandaids dispensed, but Mommy needed a big glass of wine to recover.

PS- Maggie loved poking holes so much, I discovered she poked a lovely pattern of holes into her pumpkin placemat!

But, Mommy, where are our....

We've been recovering all week from Maggie's birthday blow out. I'd like to say it's been a quiet week, but it hasn't been. In fact, both gymnastics and dance had special Halloween events. With a late October birthday in the family, I've noticed we are lacking in the Halloween haunted spirits. Apparently, La Nina noticed too.

The other morning we were driving to work and she innocently asked, "Mommy, where are our halloween decorations? We don't even have a spider in front of our house."

I'd been praying the kids didn't notice the lack of decorations or spiders. Thanks to the pest control service, we're nicely devoid of spiders. And all the distractions of the month also meant we were decidedly unhaunted. Even worse, we really didn't have many decorations. Now you have to know, Halloween is just not my favorite holiday. I'm never very creative with costumes, pumpkins or decorations, but I think having kids means time to get creative.

But unfortunately, I feel like hell this weekend. I think it's the flu shot I had on Wednesday. It gave me a cold sore and cold sores always make me sick. So, I wasn't much in the spirit to deck the halls with ghosts, bats and witches. But I was the only unspirited one. So, I went to Raley's this afternoon. Yep, we haunted our house thanks to our local grocery store. All the decorations were half off, so it didn't cost much to get a few things.

The Dad got the decorative lights installed this evening and the girls and I made "Ms. Princess Potato Head" Pumpkins for the porch. (Have you seen the kits at Target? Really cute.) So, I'm declaring the house decorated, but I have a feeling next year, this ain't gonna cut it.

Making wishes: Maggie blows out candles on her third birthday.  

Can I open them now?  

Some things never change: Maggie leaping into her fourth spin around the sun at the pumpkin patch. 

The BIG Day

Well, it's official. My baby is three! I know everyone says it goes fast, but you just don't realize how fast until you're in it...then it flies. So here is a run down of the Big Day.

Maggie got up, watched television, didn't eat her breakfast and went to see the doctor. Just a well baby check, and he was dutifully impressed by her progress. Remember, this is the man who had to coach me through sedating her for blood work...he lived the history, he knows where we've been. The great news: Maggie's no longer considered underweight. She is just a normal, small sized three year old now.

After the doctor, she was starved, so I gave her some wheat crackers and water while we drove to school to pick up La Nina. Since Maggie wasn't in class Friday, her teacher had me bring her in for a little singing and a crown. BIG HIT. We came home, she refused to eat her turkey and cheese lunch, and we headed for the Pumpkin Patch.

Once out at the patch we met up with some friends. And of course, we picked up some pumpkins. After that, we decided to give the corn maze. Alas, we got lost and Maggie had to pee in the corn. I hope no one going to eat that stuff. I felt bad...but what's a mother to do when lost in a corn maze with someone yelling, "I need to potty." Luckily, La Nina found the way out, so we recovered by eating a snow cone and drove home...La Nina and Maggie both napped in the car.

Then we had a little dinner for Nana, Papa and Auntie and Tio, but Maggie was too excited to eat. So, she skipped dinner, opened presents and went right for the cake. I think all day yesterday she ate a few wheat crackers, a bite of turkey, a snow cone and cake. That's some fine parenting, isn't it?

Needless to say, she had a great third birthday! And like I said, I spent most of the day wondering where the time has gone.

A Letter to the Parents

The following note was received from the girls' dance studio.

Dear Daddy Deep Pockets:

It's come time for us to mete out more financial torture: It's costume time. That's right, it's time to order costumes for the June recital.

Each child will need a ridiculously expensive costume that is 'to die for' cute and will only be worn for five minutes. You will need to order it now or risk missing the dance class pictures in April. Of course, the class pictures will be an additional expense per child, but there's no need to worry about that expense now. You have plenty of time to pay off your credit card between now and Spring, right?

Also, we promise to distribute costumes during class time. So if you don't weaken and order now, the emotional pain your child will experience by being the only child without a costume will ensure you order in the second, more expensive, penalty round. And let's not forget the expense of therapy. Admit it, you really wouldn't want your child to be the ONLY child without a costume when the order comes in, or would you, Daddy dearest?

By the way, if you buy these costumes, you need to commit to buying a block of seats at her performance or you may not get to see it. Financial details to follow at picture time.

More Financial News: The fall leotards are in. Lilac for your older daughter and pink for the younger is required for their self-esteem.

Finally, if you find this overwhelming, don't worry. We have a new autopay function on our web site and it will allow us to handle all the financial punishments --oops, we mean "transactions"-- easily. I'd say call with questions, but we're rarely available, so just pay up.

Sincerely,

Trumps Dance Academy

PS- If your child quits dance lessons in the next seven months, tough.
PPS- If your child is ill for the performance, tough.
PPPS- If you don't like us, tough. Your child loves us and we have your credit card.

The Month of Maggie Marches On

Our second event during the Month of Maggie was a birthday party for a few of her friends. This is a big change from last year, because last year she had no friends and we just invited our friends to the party. But this year, thanks to pre-school, she has several friends of her own!

Because we're Californians, we planned a pool party for our daughter's mid-October birthday. We did sweat a little Saturday morning over the fall weather, but the sun came out and it ended up being a really nice day. Maggie selected the theme to her party this year: "Hello, Kitty". The flavor of her cake: Chocolate. The activity: A pinata. And the food: Pizza.

The party was a big success. Maggie and La Nina swam for 3 hours straight. Maggie only left the pool to eat, blow out a candle and pull a pinata string. Otherwise, Maggie was in the pool as were almost all of her guests.

A few highlights:
One of the guests so exhausted herself, the life guard got wet. Yep, we had a real life rescue. Not nearly as dramatic as it sounds. Several adults saw the child in the water, the life guard was closest and in a swim suit, so she hopped in and pulled the little girl to shallow water. It's always scary when the life guard gets in the pool. But the child was absolutely fine and stayed at the party--just in shallower water.

Another guest threw up from the combination of pizza, cake and chlorinated water in the pool. You know, it's just not a party 'til someone pukes....oh wait, that was from college and Maggie's only 3.

Another fun discovery at the party, Maggie's best friend from pre-school came to the party and it turns out she lives within walking distance of us. YEAH! Neighborhood playdates!

Anyway, the party went great. The kids were exhausted after leaving the pool. One parenting tip: Never plan a birthday party 4 days after you return from Disneyland, when you have to work three of those days. Whew! I'm glad it's behind me.

Running with the "sisters": We always enjoy time spent with our travel mates! 

Our almost 3 year old: When Maggie fell asleep mid-lollipop, it ended up stuck to her shirt!  

The girls finally meet up with Pocahontas. When I commented to a Page it was our first time seeing her, he answered, "Me Too!"

Month of Maggie Kicked Off with a Visit to the Mouse House

Yep, it's birthday time again in this house and that means a visit to the House of Mouse (aka Disneyland). Anyhoo....here are a few highlights from our weekend.

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Princess Pandemonium
I think Maggie only likes Princesses because her sister does. However, even for Maggie, no trip to Disneyland would be complete without a little Princess action. The new princess set up is such an improvement. Disney corraled all the princesses into one area and organized a single line and at the end, three princesses. Wahhooooo! What a time saver. Sure, you don't know who the princesses are, but it beats the heck out of three lines. Also, they've combined Princess Story Time in the same area, which is much better than that crowded shop. So, if you hit story time and the Princess line, you've seen 4 princesses...add a princess lunch with its 5 princess line up and you'll get all the princesses in a painless morning/meal. Does it get any better than that?

Pocahontas and Mulan Finally Get Some Brand Management
It's clear that Mulan and Pocahontas finally have a little brand management behind them. We actually saw Pocahontas and heard Mulan at storytime. Huge firsts for us Disney veterans. I also noticed considerable more merchandising around both of these princesses. I'm glad to see it as they are my favorite princesses and I always thought Disney was missing out on a revenue opportunity. Glad they finally agree that the brave princesses need some marketing too.

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Gay Day
Saturday and Sunday both were Gay Day at Disneyland. The park was packed with men and women wearing red shirts announcing the day, in case you had any doubt. I figured it out fairly early in the day (gee...those red shirts reading "Gay Day 2006" were real subtle) but alas my less observant husband, also dressed in a red shirt, didn't notice the shirts. When I pointed it out to him at about 3pm, he started laughing. "So that's why all those guys were looking at me strange!" I guess he's hot regardless of gender.

The other funny "Gay Day" story involves La Nina. Our family was in line for dinner and one section of the restaurant was absolutely packed with men in red shirts. La Nina suddenly had a very urgent need to go potty and she and I had to make a run for it, right through the red shirted group. Several rather brawny men were blocking my way, so I said, "We've got a potty emergency and need a little help." Well, let me tell you, if you are ever in a situation where your 4 year old needs to make a potty dash, look for men wearing red shirts. She and I had a line of blockers the Oakland Raider's Quarterback would be envious of. Five men formed a V and sprinted ahead of us, yelling, "Potty Emergency". We made the 100 yard dash through a crowded restaurant in 10 seconds flat. And when we came out dry, we got a round of applause. It was very nice to be so well cared for!

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Down to a Single Stroller
We decided on this trip to only take one stroller. It was a bold move, but it's time La Nina get off her hiney and work a little. (She's a lazy little thing and she doesn't like to sweat!) I'd say we had mixed results. The first day was fine. La Nina walked without complaint, the second day the whining began. Maggie is fine walking, but she never really walks. She jumps, she spins, she zigs and zags...but walking...not so much. And while Maggie will walk forever, she's slow! I mean really slow. She and I were forever getting left behind our group, because she was either dancing or just strolling in a very unhurried manner people watching. The one thing that did really worked is that each girl at one point, gave up the stroller for a very tired sibling. Each did it without complaint and walked back to the hotel after a long day while her sister slept. It was a great act of sisterly compassion and love and a great reminder that even young kids can have empathy.

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That's it for our Disney adventure. It was fun. It was fun to be there with some of the families from Maggie's group and celebrate all the 3 year olds en masse. And yes, for the record, my children are totally spoiled, but what the heck~that's what happens when you have them later in life.

Butterflies

I've been working on this short essay on and off since this summer. I think it's finally ready for others to read. These sort of posts are always different for my blog...but fun for me to post. This essay, along with my other two, will be gifts for La Nina some day.

The sun shines off her dark hair creating a gleaming white band that looks like a halo from the porch where I stand. As she walks into the mountain pasture, a resolute look crosses her face, wrinkling her brow and flattening her mouth. She surveys the land before her: green grass bordered by wooden fence that holds the wildness of the Colorado at bay. Around us, mountains reach toward the sky covered with aspen and a stream, hidden from sight, rushes by filling the air with lyrical music.

She grips the wooden handle of a butterfly net with her left hand and the white mesh hangs over her shoulder. Her gaze is never still: eyes dart constantly searching for prey. Standing there in the sun, suspended in stillness, I see her brows furrow deeper as if she is working a complicated puzzle.

At her feet, butterflies dance from green blade to wildflower and occasionally one flies skyward catching an unseen breeze and gracefully landing just beyond the fence line. Those dancers are her prey and she studies their moves with an expert eye. She is confident today, gone are the insecurities of yesterday. She knows how to capture these creatures. Her past successes have bolstered her and she feels invincible when it comes to netting the meadow’s constant motion.

Her pause in the field is as fleeting as her white and yellow dance partners’ movement and soon she joins their ballet by dashing off in one direction, then another. Many times, she swings the net at her target, coming ever so close, yet missing. Today, she isn’t discouraged by the failed attempts. She keeps at the task, knowing she’ll find success. And she does. With a flick of the wrist and a sense of timing only she understands, her net hits the ground with a “thwack”, ensnaring a ballerina for her private viewing. The delicate creature flutters with a sense of urgency. She kneels and gazes at the frightened creature.

“It’s okay, I just want to hold you,” she offers the frantic insect. Then she calls me over.

“Mom, I got one.”

Finally invited to join, I move to her side and crouch low. I hold a jar in my hand, in case her visit with this butterfly is an extended one. I am clear on my role: I’m merely her assistant today. She is leading the chase.

“Do you want the jar?” I ask my four year old.

“No, I told her I would let her go.”

I watch my daughter closely. A gentle breeze stirs her dark hair, and the smell of air, clean and fresh, awakens my senses. All of this goes unnoticed by her; she is focused on her catch. My daughter is teasing the butterfly into a corner of the net with one hand and slowly weaving her other hand into the white mesh. She never stops cooing to her white winged captive, and slowly its wing strokes slow, revealing a pattern of lacey stripes. Lightly, she grasps the bug’s body, careful not to touch its wings, and pulls it from its prison.

She’s learned to cup her hand around the fly and crack her fingers just enough to get a good look. More than one insect met its demise during her learning process. From my spot nearby, I can see this lacy dancer will survive her exploration. This gentleness is a newfound skill. I marvel.

“You’re so pretty,” she says into her hands.

Yes, you are, I want to say to my daughter. But I keep the thought to myself, not wanting to ruin her moment. I am still next to her, silent, vigilant, outside of the world she is creating. I feel distance and closeness in the same breath. She and I share something in these few seconds: we’re both only allowed to watch.

In the next breath, she stands and freezes again in the shining sun. Without warning she lifts her arms skyward and her butterfly sails over our heads. We shield our eyes to follow its progress and it flutters over the nearby fence into the wilderness. She spins with joy watching her friend and lets out a loud, impish giggle.

“Bye, bye, Mr. Butterfly,” she hollers with great enthusiasm. She kept her promise and her friend flew safely away.

I’m looking upward still, when I feel her cool hand slide into mine. I look down and she smiles up at me. As I gaze into the eyes of my haloed, 4 year old, little girl, I see she is my butterfly. Wild, elusive, never tame. A thought slowly drifts in my mind: My hold on her hand is just as tenuous, just as fleeting and just as short-lived as hers was on the butterfly. Someday I, too, will watch her soar from my grasp. Will I spin with joy and let out a boisterous cry of encouragement as she flies away? I wonder.

She squeezes my hand tightly and urges me to follow along on her next hunt. I keep pace with her, comforted with the knowledge at least I hold her for now.

School Picture Day

Friday was Picture Day at school- the one day, I have final say on all clothing worn outside this house. The kids must be at school at 9am on the nose, because pictures start promptly at 9am and you never know when your child's class will be called in for pictures.

6:00am- Maggie disappears into her bedroom and emerges from her bedroom dressed in a too short, stained pink skirt and purple shirt that is a half size too small.

6:05am- I tell Maggie that she can wear that around the house, but not to school. Maggie calmly tells me, "I wear this to school forever, Mommy, I no nap at school anymore."

6:45am- La Nina and I are discussing the days events at school and she asks if she can wear her Halloween costume for her picture. I tell her No and she starts sulking.

7:00am- Television goes off and both girls refuse to eat breakfast. Maggie sits down to color and La Nina starts looking at a book.

7:30am-Breakfasts are still not eaten.

8:00am- Maggie asks for crackers because her cereal which has been sitting an hour is too soggy. She doesn't get crackers.

8:15am- No one is eating and no one is dressed. It's thirty minutes before we walk out the door and it's looking bad. I decide to tackle La Nina first.

"La Nina, let's go pick out something to wear for your school picture."

"I want to wear my costume," she answers.

"No, honey, you can't do that. It would ruin the surprise. You can't wear it until Halloween, remember? Why don't we wear that brown blouse and sparkle skirt you like."

"I hate the sparkle skirt, I'll never wear it again."

"Well, let's see if the other brown skirt is clean." Of course, it isn't.

She and I settle on a nice denim skirt, the nice brown blouse and she is dressed without incident. I send her to the bathroom to brush her hair. A sense of foreboding strikes me. That was too easy.

8:25am I see Wankie on the floor and decide it's time to lure Maggie back to her room for a quick change. Only 20 minutes before we go to school. I sneak Wankie off of the couch, put it on Maggie's bed, then ask her if she knows where Wankie is 'cuz its almost time for school and you would never want to go to school without Wankie, now would you darling, angel child?

Maggie eyes the couch then heads to her room. Once she takes the bait, I follow her through the house talking about different dresses I know she loves. When she gets in her room and sees I left a perfectly acceptable pink picture dress on her bed next to Wankie, she looks at me and says, "Mommy, I no wear that dress never." Perfect. I want her to wear a green dress.

"Oh, Maggie, that's ok. Why don't you wear this lovely green dress?"

"No."

"I no wear it never."

"Maggie, it's pink or green, not what you're wearing. Either you chose or I do."

"NOooooooooooooo..." While she is already bent over, howling in protest, I whip the too small shirt off of her, because let's face it either dress will cover the skirt, if need be. Tears start.

"Maggie, you're wearing the pink dress." I put it on her, she's crying, saying something I can't understand, that sounds like never. I leave the room to go check on La Nina. La Nina has brushed her hair and teeth and is washing her face.

8:35am I see a blur run past the bathroom where I'm putting stick on earrings on La Nina. Maggie's naked. La Nina looks darling, at least.

8:36am I pick up my naked child and haul her back to the bedroom. She's wailing like a banshee, but she's going to put that damn dress back on.

8:37am She's back in the pink dress.

8:38am She pees on it. I've figured out that Maggie's potty training seriously deteriorates whenever she is in an outfit she doesn't want to wear. I counted on this. That is why I wasn't dressing her in the green dress.

8:40am She knows she is in big trouble over the "on purpose" accident and is contritely dressed in the green dress. I quickly brush her hair, cussing under my breath. This kid...what am I going to do with this kid?

8:45am We're ready to leave for school. I breathe a sigh of relief. I tell the kids to head out to the van, La Nina skips out to the van, the Magster trods out head low, but she's dressed for her school picture. I walk into the kitchen for my purse. I look at the kitchen table and spy 2 untouched breakfasts. Damn. Feeding them anything in the car is high risk for spill in their picture clothes, yet sending them to scool without breakfast puts me in the "Bad Mother Hall of Fame." I grab a banana figuring it's the perfect solution. If they get it on them, it won't show too bad and they'll typically eat a banana.

8:52am Enroute to school. Maggie whining she's hungry (forget the fact I've been trying to feed her for 2 hours) refuses to eat her banana. La Nina eats hers.

9:02am I arrive at school, only to discover that Maggie's picture day was Thursday, only La Nina was scheduled to have her picture taken on Friday. I was supposed to bring Maggie in the day before. Maggie smiles victoriously. I beg them to take Maggie's picture. I swear to them if they don't, she just won't have a school picture this year, because I'm not going through another morning like this with my child. They reluctantly agree and Maggie goes off for the first picture of the day.

There is a God.

A foot note: At noon on Friday, the school called. Maggie was complaining that she had a rash on her privates. They told me she was extremely uncomfortable and squirming around whenever they asked about it. They thought I should get her into a doctor immediately, so great was her discomfort. Given the delicate nature of her complaint, they were unable to really check. Everytime they tried to check she told them, "It's private." I was totally suspicious, but I dutifully went to school to claim my little darling. I put her in the car and asked her about the alleged rash. She told me the following, "It itches a little tiny bit Mommy. I no like to nap at school." Needless to say, there was no rash. Just a very clever three year old, who lost the morning battle, but found a way to win that afternoon.