The Clever One

Shortly after the Nannies in China placed Maggie in my arms, two women sought me out and very pointedly told me Maggie was "clever." To my American ears, 'clever' means smart in a sly way, and I wondered how a baby could be 'clever'. Of course, as I got to know Maggie, I did think clever was an excellent word to describe her. Then earlier this year, I was having something translated and I found out 'clever' in Chinese means good with her hands. I almost fell over. Because those Nannies saw something in Maggie as an infant that I've had the honor to watch unfold. I'm attaching three of Maggie's creations. As a point of reference, she's created each of these items in the last two weeks. In no way did I help her. She did all the creating, cutting, gluing and the drawing herself.

The first one is a drawing of a magical castle, with a princess and prince fairy flying toward it. (Her words, not mine.) In the sky is a kite and a flower, because it's windy.



The second picture is of puppets. She designed the puppets, drew faces on them, then made them a boat. (Unfortunately, the boat suffered a fatal collision with the glue stick.) I then was forced to create a puppet stage, which she decorated. All day she held shows.





This last one is the one that is most amazing to me...it's a simple mosiac of two robots. One is hard to see because it's in the same color paper as the sheet she glued him on. He's actually more detailed that the big one. On this project, she cut out the pieces, laid out both robots, then glued and colored them. Even wilder is she told me before she started she wanted to make robots, I handed her paper and markers and she got the scissors and glue herself.

There's really no point to this entry, no lessons learned, no punch line. Given that Maggie's still a month shy of four, I have no idea where all of this creativity will take her. My only hope for all of this is that she continues to love creating and that we find the right path to nurture it.

Dear Hasbro:

Dear Hasbro Toy Executive-

Today, I shipped back our Easy Bake Oven. Since Santa brought it to us 9 months ago tonight, we used it once. After we made some pathetic, really disgusting cookies, we heard about your recall, so we put it on the shelf. I filed my name on your web site and waited for an attachment that would make the toy safe. The attachment was on back order and you nicely sent me monthly letters telling me to keep hope. We did finally receive the part in July. Of course, we weren't living in our house at that time, but it didn't matter. The next week, you sent me a letter advising us the attachment didn't solve the problem and we had to ship the oven back.

While I appreciate the post paid box you sent for me to ship it in, I'd rather you manufacture your toy safely in the first place. I know you say that you're trying to keep retail prices affordable by cutting corners, but let's be honest, you're actually protecting your profit margin more than my pocket book.

Oh..I understand the demands of shareholders. I am one. And I'm figuring this recall cost you a whole lot more than marketing a safe toy would have. So, let's change the nature of this shareholder's demand: You make toys that won't disfigure my little girl's fingers and charge me an extra buck, and I'll keep buying your products. Deal?

I know. Your Vice President of Marketing assured you that he/she has me over a barrel. I bet that individual outlined a strategy that showed by marketing to my kids through commercials and the kids' will badger me into buying your products despite my dismay at your poor business practices. Well that person is wrong. My kids don't watch commercial television, and it'll be pretty easy for me to spend my money elsewhere.

I hope you enjoy the thousands of Easy Bake Ovens you're getting back. And make that cash card you promised something I can use on books. I'm disillusioned with toys these days.

Sincerely,

One Lucky Mom

PS- Your Bratz line of dolls are offensive. If you have any respect for little girls, discontinue it immediately.

PPS- I'll post a link to this on your contact us page <> and I'll invite anyone else who reads my blog to do the same. For you need to know, what a pain these toy recalls are to consumers.

Magster Update

With all the excitement over La Nina starting school, the Magster getting very little blog time these days. Yet, as always she's blog worthy.

The Magster wrapped up her second week of preschool today. She seems to love it. She's made a friend, she trots into the room with a smile on her face and she LOVES all the art. However, as always with the Magster, things never quite go as easy as they appear.

Last Friday, I asked the teacher how Maggie was doing and the teacher said fine. I was immediately suspicious as I know the Magster and "fine" is not a word used often to describe her. So, I asked if she was speaking in class. And the teacher said, "No, she doesn't speak. Does she talk at home? " Oy vey. I can't get her to be quiet and these people think she doesn't speak.

Anyhoo, when I picked up Maggie today, I asked again how she's doing. The teacher said, "Well, she talks to her friend now." And it begged the question, "Does she speak to you?" And the teacher said, "Oh no. But now we know she talks." Great.

So, I get in the car with the Magster and I casually ask about school. I get this indepth description of the art, I hear about the playground, I even got the download on the story. OK...sounds good.

So, tonight, I ask, "Well Maggie, your teacher tells me you don't talk to her."

"Nope. Mom. I don't talk to her," she answers as if this is totally obvious and why would she even consider talking to her.

"Why don't you talk to her, Maggie? She's very nice." I said.

"Oh yes. I like my teacher, Mom."

"So--why don't you talk to her?"

"I don't want to."

"Why?" I asked.

"I don't have any questions, Mom." If she knew to add the word 'duh', she would've.

And there you have it. When the Magster has a question she'll speak. Until then, she'll just bend my ear. Good grief! I don't know why I worry about her.

Cosby to the Rescue

Last week, while I was in La Nina's classroom, one of her classmates asked, which child was mine. When I answered La NIna, he looked at her and looked at me and said, "She sure doesn't look like you." For me this situation was easily handled, I pointed out, "You're right, she's much prettier." She beamed, he was satisfied. Situation diffused.

However, the beginning of school brought a new challenge for La Nina: Answering questions about her adoption without hiding behind my skirt. All summer I tried to prepare her for this new reality and in typical La Nina terms, she had no interest in discussing this issue. A little background on LaNina, she's very private about her adoption. She'll talk about it outside our immediate family on a rare occasion, but in general, she'd prefer to never discuss it publicly.

To help her, I read lots of advice from other adoptive kids and parents about typical questions and suggested answers. But none of those answers seemed right to me. All of the answers seemed like something an adult might say to a child, but not what a child would say to a child. For instance, "Why don't you look like your parents?" Kid answer: "Not everyone looks like their parents." Ok, true, but that's something I would say to a kid now ... I don't know if I would have wanted to give that answer when I was a kid.

I was discussing this dilemma with my sister and she suggested I teach La Nina the ultimate play ground comeback, "fart head." Some examples:

Q: "Are you adopted?"
A: "Are you a fart head?"

Q: You don't look like your parents.
A: You're a fart head."

Obviously, this is a great defense. It does change the nature of any conversation and immediately shift the topic from adoption to farting...a fascinating topic when you're five. As tempted as I was by this school yard solution, some how I just couldn't encourage my daughter to use the expression 'fart head'. It went against my grain.

Then yesterday morning while La NIna was watching Bill Cosby's new children series, Little Bill, he gave us the perfect answer for the private child. The answer to any question or comment: a sublime 'So'.

Q: Are you adopted?
A: So? (It's an affirmation and a "Mind your own business" in two letters)

Q: You don't look like your parents.
A: So? (It closes the door on the conversation. Period. Love it.)

This response also works on any number of verbal taunts such as "You're a baby", "You're a poo-poo head" and "Doo-doo face", or the favorite in our house, "You're a Man". (This devastates the girls...I'm not sure why.)

After the show ended, I brought the topic up to La Nina and her eyes lit up. She finally found an answer she was comfortable giving. We practiced it all morning with the Magster...who is very good at taunting her sister...and it worked for her. We've also begun working on the ubiquitous "I know you are, but what am I?" and we're having fun with that.

Cross your fingers that we're prepared for another hurdle in childhood. I'm sure there will be situations she doesn't know how to handle, but hopefully, she'll come to us to help her find solutions that work for her. As I told La Nina Tuesday, we've been answering questions for almost five years now and we've heard it all.

Our night with Tomasito

Well, if finally happened. La Nina's name was drawn as the lucky child to bring home the class bear, Tomasito. Having Tomasito in your home isn't all fun and games. It's work! He and his green backpack are required to accompany its sitter to all activities and meals. Then, before returning the bear to class tomorrow, we need to record our activities in the Tomasito's book with pictures AND a little write up.


After leaving school, we took Tomasito to dance with us, then tonight he helped La Nina and the Magster Build a Fairy on the Disney web site. Then, we had to feed him dinner and put him to bed. I'm telling you it was quite a night.

In the morning, we'll document all of Tomasito's adventure and return him, his green backpack and the book to school in the morning so another lucky classmate will have the chance to take him home. Given the number of kids in the class, I figure we'll get the bear at least once a month for the rest of the year.


And in case you're wondering, the Magster was green with envy over all the fuss. But she told me she'd feel all better if I took her to Build a Bear tomorrow! What a little scamp!

Kindergarten

I went back to Kindergarten on Friday. This time as a parent, and let me tell you it was eye-opening.

In California, Kindergarten is only three hours and twenty minutes with a twenty minute recess. Kids spend fewer hours in Kindergarten than they do in most preschools. Despite its short hours La Nina comes home wiped out. Frankly, I couldn't figure out why. Looking at the class assignments she brings home, academic stress was not the culprit. There is some homework, but not much. So, I wondered what the heck was so exhausting. Let me tell you, I learned first hand, Kindergarten is brutal.

I arrived in class about 45 mintues into the lesson. La Maestra was standing in front of the class leading the lesson, in Spanish. While I knew intellectually La Nina was in Dual Immersion Spanish, Lord, it really is in Spanish. And the teacher is warning the kids that she is "forgetting her English" more everyday. The good news is I could follow the teacher...yeah...I'm at a kindergarten level in Espanol. However, when one of the kids asked me a question in Spanish out of the context of what the teacher had said, I scrambled for help. (She wanted to know how long until lunch--a child after my own heart.)

Then, the kids are expected to pay attention, follow instructions and basically, sit still for two hours straight. They were moved from lesson to lesson very little break. Kids pulling the old, "I need water" ploy, were told that they had to wait until the next break between lessons. Then those drinks better be quick or their table would lose points. Kids not finishing lessons with the class were not using their time well. Wiggling too much, then those kids needed to pay closer attention. Considering I'm not good at sitting still or quietly, I was a nervous wreck by the end of my hour.

Hardest of all, the kids called on during class, had to answer questions in Spanish. I was freaked I was going to have to answer questions in Spanish. No wonder La Nina's asking for the flash cards. She's such a little perfectionist, she probably was shaking in her shoes about being called on. I'm also happy to report La Nina did very well when asked to read a few words about Mis Manzanas in Spanish. I, on the other hand, almost fainted on her behalf, which would have been a disaster because I was helping other kids stamp using apples while she read.

Needless to say, my hour was very illuminating. It made me very proud of my daughter. She's doing great. I'll be volunteering for an hour every Friday, which I'm really looking forward to. I'll get to know the teacher a little, get to know La Nina's classmates and also improve my Spanish as time goes by.

When we got home on Friday afternoon after my first day, I scooped us big bowls of ice cream, turned on High School Musical and gelled on the couch with the girls. Poor kid! No wonder she's so exhausted. Kindergarten wore me out too!

Straight from the Mouth of Babes...

Two great conversations tonight:

Background: La Nina is telling me how she needs to take cookies to school, because her friends like cookies and they "trade" snacks.

Me: But honey, I thought you weren't supposed to swap snacks with your friends. Isn't there a rule because of allergies?
La Nina: No, Mom. It's okay.
Me: Really? Does your teacher know?
La Nina: Well, Mom, we can't do it when she's watching.

I can only hope it was the substitute that wasn't watching. Not the every day teacher.

Background: The Magster gives me a handful of flower petals.

Me: Maggie, what these?
Magster: Flower petals.
Me: Where did you get them?
Magster: A flower.

The Magster is a very funny little girl.

The Girls

Because I haven't posted a picture of the girls in a really long time...here's a recent shot of my princesses.

Another week down...

Two weeks into Kindergarten, we're still reeling from the transition. I'm exhausted from getting someone, somewhere, on time, every single day. That someone is pretty darn tired too. She's adjusting to a life without naps, and it isn't pretty. She still hasn't seen 8pm since school started.

The main difference I notice between Kindergarten and preschool is the disconnection I have from the classroom. Gone are the days of lingering in the preschool, chatting with the teacher on the playground and getting a last minute hug from my clingy daughter. Now, La Nina lines up outside the door to her classroom, then marches in behind her teacher. (Because my background check is not complete, I'm not allowed in the classroom.) In my case the distance is probably a little worse than normal because the teacher is speaking Spanish to the kids, who are following her instructions the drill team like precision.

La Nina is picking up Spanish faster than I expected. She successfully completed her days of the week assignment in Spanish and the project for this next week is the written numbers, one to ten. (And bless her overachieving heart, she requested more flashcards.) But those little tests aren't how I know Spanish is coming easily for her. The other night I was slaughtering a story...oh I mean reading a story in Spanish...and La Nina said something to the effect. "Muy Bien, Mama. Buenos noches." Then she went to bed. I know, minor, but 1.) I've never said those phrases to her. 2.) She used them in a context appropriate manner. It was really cool. I can also say things like, "Como se dice 'green'?" and she'll pop back "verde" without missing a beat.

That's it for us another week down, only 40 more to go until Summer vacation.

What a difference a few years makes!

With La Nina launched into Kindergarten, we are now preparing to launch the Magster into her new school. We had the Parent Orientation tonight and met with her teacher. We learned of the new school's philosophy, rules and most importantly, the birthday policy. Oh my, have we come full circle.

Way back when La Nina was starting preschool, I did a thorough investigation of the area nursery schools. The Dad and I debated philosophies on early childhood education, then we selected the snootiest school in town. The school was completely focused on academics. Every activity had some sort of learning focus. Most schools have cirriculums, but this one had a cirriculum that mapped to the Ivy League entrance requirements. (I'm kidding....sort of.) When we applied for the school, there was an interview process and we practically had to submit our own educational dossiers. Frankly, I shocked they took us. Well, we lasted about 6 weeks. La Nina hated it and we hated it even more. It was way too structure and in my opinion put too much pressure on the toddlers in their care.

I pulled La Nina from that school without a plan for a new school. But we landed somewhere good that had an immediate opening. The school we've had both girls at for the last couple of years we picked because the kids seemed happy, they had a flexible schedule and they made the kids lunches everyday. (I know...where are my priorities?) Every time we walked onto the playground, kids were laughing, running, jumping and playing. It also did the academic stuff and La Nina's very well prepared for Kindergarten. It wasn't the best maintained place, but the teachers were great and both girls enjoyed their time and their hot lunches. Trust me, my lunches pale in comparison to the cook's at the school. I felt bad when I knew we had to switch Maggie's school.

Tonight we were introduced to a third school. It comes very well recommended. Parents and kids both just love it. In fact, I've only heard one complaint about it. It's not academic enough for many families. It's heavily oriented to art and play. The focus is on creating a love of learning and exploration, not necessarily attaining academic excellence. They do cover the alphabet and basic numbers, but not in the same structured way La Nina's class did. But you know what, I'm okay with their low key approach to learning because it's the perfect place for Maggie. She's so darn creative and she's the kind of kid who will figure out a good deal of things on her own. The less structure I give her at home, the better she does. She's the total opposite of her sister.

It took three years for me to figure it out something that seemed so obvious to me tonight: there's not a right or wrong answer on preschools. Looking back on this whole experience, I know now the right preschool is dependent on the kid and the family.

Back to the Future

Whew! After months of being unable to post photos on this blog, I'm back. My Mac and I spent some quality time together this morning and I figured out how to download photos from my camera and upload here. Of course, I'm starting with an after picture of my kitchen...the real reason it's taken me so long to figure out the whole picture thing.




Wow! This is so much easier than using a PC. By the way, that's my Magster coloring at the table.