Coolies

With all the talk last week of Martin Luther King, Obama and race, La Nina made a statement that got me thinking.  After watching something on Martin Luther King, she said, "Thank goodness I'm not black because Chinese people didn't have to go through any of that." She was referring to segregation.  

I answered, "Actually, they did," but then found myself at a loss to explain Alien and Sedition Laws to a six year old.  I tried my best to explain that in the past the Chinese faced a great deal of racism and discrimination and that the Civil Rights Act applied to the Chinese as well as the blacks, yet I could tell I was missing the mark terribly.  

With all this on my mind, I wandered into a bookstore and found this book staring at me entitled, "Coolies."  At first, I thought, no way, I can't possibly read a book with such a terrible title to my daughters.  Isn't "Coolies" the Asian equivalent of the "N" word?  But I started thumbing through the book and found the illustrations mesmerizing, so I bought the book.  

When I finally read the story, it was great.  It told the stories of two Chinese brothers who served as workers and helped built the railroad.  They tolerated all sorts of danger for lower wages than their white counter parts.  It also showed that the Chinese were not allowed to attend the ceremony at Promontory Summit simply because they were different.  In the end, it shows the Chinese brothers as proud, honorable men who worked hard, loved their families and accomplished an amazing feat.  

In honor of the New Year, I read it to them tonight.  The story absolutely captivated and shocked them.  La Nina kept asking if the Chinese were slaves.  And they weren't, they were more like indentured servants.  Maggie asked why the white people didn't like them.  I told her it was simply because they looked different.  Maggie left the room silent, something that has never happened before, and crawled into bed.  When I kissed her good night, she simply said, "It's a sad story, Momma, isn't it?"  And I agreed it was, but reminded her of the greatness of the Chinese accomplishment.  I suspect I'll hear more from her later.  

La Nina was a bundle of questions.  In the end we ended up talking a lot about Martin Luther King, civil rights and discrimination.  It's not an easy topic for a white mom who's never experienced these things first hand, but that's part of the deal with bi-racial adoption.  I get to try, so I did.  I do know what it's like to be the only woman on a team full of men and feel unheard and alone, so I tried to answer the questions from those emotions.  She's still awake, so I know she's thinking about it.  

In the end,  I decided to read it because I don't want them to hear this history at school and feel shocked.  I don't want someone to shout the word Coolie and have them not know what it means.  I don't want them caught off guard every time someone assumes they're good at math or whatever.  I'd rather them hear the stories from me, with me present and able to deal with any emotional fall out that may occur.   While I may not have faced discrimination, I know it still exists, and it's my deepest hope, that when they face it, they know they can come to me.  

For those interested, the book is entitled "Coolies" by Yin.  Published in 2001 by Penguin.

Updates

Great news.  The little boy we've sponsored in China for the past couple of years was moved to foster care.  We're very happy for him.  Despite pictures that show him as a happy, healthy 3 year old, he's sick with something that makes him ineligible for adoption.  (Probably TB or AIDs, it's hard to know.)  So, placement in a family situation is a very good outcome for him and we're delighted.  We are now sponsoring another little boy about 3.  Judging from his pictures, he looks to be developmentally disabled, but I could be wrong.  Regardless, we'll continue our sponsorship through Half the Sky and remember this new little one in our prayers.  Every child deserves the love of a family. 

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Remember this time last year, when La Nina was in the Kindergarten reading program?  Kindergartners need to read 100 books in order to get scoops of ice cream on cones that hang in the window.  If everyone in the class reads 100 books, then the kids get a party.  La Nina nearly drove me to drink following me around demanding we read so she could be the top reader in her class.  Well, now it's the Magster's turn.  (Maggie's reading in Spanish.)  I thought, okay, she's mellower on the competitive stuff, the program won't be bad this time around.  Wrong!  One of the Magster's little friends hit the 100 mark and tonight Maggie was lamenting she will be the last in her class to get to 100... oh whoa is her.  Here's the kicker:  she's at 80 books complete right now.  I actually read with her over Christmas and kept track.  This darn reading program is killing me for the second year in a row.  

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I'm sure you like me have been somewhat glued to the story about the plane that went down in the Hudson River.  The pilot is from a town nearby and I kept thinking his last name sounded familiar, but then chiding myself for thinking every last name sounds familiar.  This afternoon while I was at the gym, I saw his wife on television and I realized I met her a couple of years ago while I was working on a story.  Not only did I interview her and chat with her on the phone, but she took me on a great hike all through Las Trampas and I spent a good three hours with her.  She's a very nice lady.  Anyway, after I recovered from the shock and awe that I actually did remember that name, I remembered her telling me her husband was a pilot for US Air.  It's a small world.  

Straight from the Mouth of Babes...

A conversation with the Magster.  Because I only have privacy when I shower at the gym, this happened yesterday morning while I was getting out of the shower.  :

"Mommy, do you get tired making all the rules?"  She's standing outside the shower, twisting her wankie, but her eyes are twinkling.  That's never good.

"I don't make all the rules," I deny.  

"You should take a break from making rules,"  Magster suggests.  I've learned if Maggie's being helpful, it's trouble.  My full attention is focused now on her.

"Who would make the rules if I took a break?"  

"Daddy."  She's way too quick with that suggestion.  Way too quick.  So I ask...

"What kind of rules does Daddy make?"  This I have to hear...

"Oh, he doesn't make rules."  At least she's honest.  

"So, what does he do when he's in charge?"  

"He says, 'yes, Maggie, yes, Maggie.'"  

All my worst fears are confirmed.  I'm never leaving town again.

Well, what have you been up to?

Hmmm, it's been busy around here.  Hard to believe Christmas was over a week ago, the New Year is three days old AND the kids go back to school in less than 36 hours....not that I'm counting.  My sister told me I should do a traditional Christmas by the numbers post, but really, our Christmas was uneventful.  Well, as uneventful as it ever is with kids 6 and 5.  Not a single person in our household was awake to see in the New Year.  So, the holidays themselves were standard.  Now the break from school, that's been a bit different.  So, here are a few highlights:  

• Attended a cookie decorating party for La Nina's dance team. 
  
• Hosted a playdate where the girls put fairy dust in their hair so thick their scalps sparkled.  Consequently, I'm still removing glitter from my floor and all glitter is banned from my house.
  
• Two days after Christmas hosted a segment of a neighborhood progressive dinner and am proud to be one of the few women in the neighborhood who remembers the entire evening.  
  
• Watched the Magster begin riding her two-wheel bike without assistance.  She's now ready to be a stunt rider in the circus.  
  
• Took the girls ice skating in SF, toured Chinatown and looked in the windows downtown.  Promised La Nina if our dog died before they took down the Christmas display, she could get a puppy from the Macy's window, but have had to watch her around our dog ever since.  
  
• Spent a day playing in the snow in the Sierra's with some friends.  It's our annual trip and the girls love sledding, building snowmen and making snow angels.
  
• Rung in the New Year with a family Wii Bowling Tournament.  No one actually was awake at midnight, but we celebrated the New Year on East Coast time.  
  
• Took the girls shopping for shoes, always a chore with La Nina.  We actually escaped the shoe store in less than an hour, an all time record.  
  
• Hosted some friends for an impromptu dinner.  (Always the best kind....no stress over a clean house.)  
  

All we have left is tomorrow, then it's back to school.  I thought we'd have this very mellow break, but now I wonder how we ever manage school.  Next week, it will be back to homework and early bedtimes.  Hard to believe the holidays are behind us and the calendar now reads January 2009.  We hope it's a good one for everybody.