The Sacred Subject In School

Maggie started speech last week. I guess the school finally decided they'd had enough of my begging and actually listened to Maggie speak English long enough to determine she can't say her "r's". Amusingly, her Spanish is flawless and since she's required to speak Spanish in the classroom, her little speech difficulty went undetected until I pointed it out to her teachers.

Anyhoo, in arranging for her twice weekly speech therapy, I had input into what subject she missed, and before I could state my preference the therapist added: She can miss anything but PE. The state requires she stay in that class. WTH?

Here's the reality: I could take her out of Math or Reading twice weekly for her speech class, but PE? Not happening. It doesn't matter that she plays soccer twice weekly and dances. It doesn't matter that she weighs 44 lbs soaking wet and slim cut clothes bag on her. It doesn't matter, basically, because there's money in PE and obesity prevention...so no missing PE. It's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Even more in our district, PE now has specialist teachers, it's own cirriculum and even a dedicated classroom at our school. (Don't get me started on the PE health cirriculum which had Maggie coming home to ask me if she was fat because she liked ice cream!)

PE (aka Physical Education for my non-American followers) has come a long way since I was a kid. Used to be our elementary teacher hooked a whistle around her neck, grabbed a ball and marched us out to the play yard for a game of 4 square or soccer or even tetherball. It wasn't about obesity prevention in my childhood. It was more of a teacher sanity insurance plan. Basically, we had PE every time we got too obnoxious in class. It worked fine.

PE's importance has been so inflated that when they talk about cutbacks at our schools, they only teachers protected were PE teachers. Why? Because the other teachers get prep periods when the kids go to PE.

Here's the truth: PE is the easiest class to supplement. In our city kids can play any sport under the sun and most programs offer scholarships to disadvantaged families. In fact, I know many sports organizations recruit scholarship kids locally since their scholarships go unfilled.

This whole PE thing is so silly that I've actually considered fighting this battle at the district level, but I'm deciding against it. The Magster is very happy in her Speech class. We're pulling her out of social studies and she's paired up with the nicest boy in her class, who has a similar issue. So, if I won my little fight and Maggie started coming out of PE, she would lose her friend and that just defeats the purpose of the battle. But really, the schools need to think about this policy. Because frankly, it makes no sense.

GOOALLLLL!

It's soccer season here in Soccer City USA. That means that the local sports' parks are filled with teams of all sizes every Saturday morning. Hundreds of people crowd the sideline cheering on their teams then head off to the Farmer's Market or other games or whatever errands need to get done on a fall Saturday.

And there we are in the thick of things with my mondo bag of soccer ball flung over my shoulder, my team bench, cooler and pop up shelter. In my pocket, I have my whistle, stop watch and line up. It's quite something to get all of my team's equipment from the curb to the field and back again. Literally, every member of the family and sometimes a random passerby's arms are loaded down like sherpas as we haul the equipment onto the sidelines.

This is Maggie's third season playing (and my 3rd year coaching) and she's loving the sport as much as ever. She's requested a soccer themed birthday party, she wrote her first class speech on her favorite sport...soccer, and she often wants to wear her cleats to school on Thursdays just so she's ready for practice, which starts at 5pm. She's off to a great start. She's fast, she's creative, she's aggressive. She's always intuitively understood the game, but now her skills are growing to match her intuition and it's such a joy to watch.

As her mom/coach, I have mixed emotions watching her this year. Now this counts. She's in an age group where the high comp coaches start paying attention. I have to rate all my players at the end of the season, and I know how I'll have to rate her. And while as a coach/mom, it's so exciting to see her develop, it's also a little sad. You see, if those coaches notice her, I don't know how much longer I'll be allowed to be her coach. I know in my heart the best thing in the world for her is to let her play competitively, yet the minute I do...no more coaching for me. Parents are not allowed to coach their kids high comp teams any longer.

Yes, technically, I have the rest of this season and next to coach her. I still have time. But if her season continues on the route it's on in the first two games, I won't be surprised if I get a call this spring for her to try out for high comp a year early. And if that call comes, I'll suck it up and take her out to try outs. It's the right thing to do. She'll love it. And if that call doesn't happen until after next season, that's okay too. I guess I just know it's out there for her...and the coach side of me knows it's probably going to happen. But the Mom side of me wants to hold on as long as possible.

Oh what a difference a "mellow" weekend makes...

My life has been so out of control lately. All the travel in August and the upheaval of summer left my head swirling with logistics. Monday soccer and dance, Tuesday dance, Wednesday laundry, Thursday soccer and dance, then leave town on Friday until Sunday night, then start all over again n Monday morning. And did I mention I had to work 25 hours at some point between the activities and the laundry? Needless to say, I ended summer just exhausted.

But now that school has been back in session a couple of weeks and we've been forced to curtail our extra-circular activities...which only means we need to stay in town and what a difference it makes to not travel.

As I sit here on Sunday night, I know all my laundry is clean and folded. I still have a load to put away, but this is as good as done in my books. The grocery shopping is also done and I'm confident that I can feed my family for 5 nights without having to break down and order take out. I hate when we need to go out to dinner during the week. It messes up homework and my kids just have better weeks when we're home for dinner. Best of all, the house doesn't look like a Category 5 hurricane as blown through it. Now, don't think this means my house is clean, it isn't. But really, the upset from a mere thunder storm is pretty normal. There's a branch down here or there, but nothing major.

And the funny thing is, the weekend hasn't really been mellow. Yesterday morning we had the annual opening day of soccer parade at 7am, then our first game at 10am. But that was it for the day. I had time to hit the Farmer's Market, the grocery store and do laundry. WOW! Then today, the girls' had a birthday party followed by their monthly First Tee golf event. We went shopping and watched a friends soccer game too. I finished up the laundry, made dinner and viola...here I sit blogging. What a treat.

Now, the next week of our regular life doesn't seem so impossible. Busy yes, but not impossible. And I'm very grateful that I have time to sit back and enjoy tonight. Sometimes having fun gets in the way of just relaxing.

On Race

I rarely think about the fact that I live in a bi-racial family. Occasionally, some ignorant comment will remind me, but the race issue isn't something that I live day in and day out. Yet, adopting kids a different race than me has taught me something. Race matters. Race matters very, very much to people of color.

Recently, I was taking my kids to a play date with a ethnically Chinese family. By this I mean, a family with a mom born and educated in China and obviously, Chinese kids. I don't know them that well, so I was coaching my kids on a few cultural differences. Eat what is offered, take off your shoes at the door, for crying out loud, no sassy American behavior in front of them. Okay some of my warnings were hopeless.

Anyway, as we were pulling up in front of the house, I asked the girls, "What do you want me to say if they ask about your adoption?" When I suspect I'll get questions, I ask this and basically, let the kids dictate my answers. Afterall, it's their adoption not mine I'm discussing. And much to my surprise, my ultra sensitive child answered, "You can talk about it to them. They're Chinese."

I was stunned. This child has never, I mean never, approved any discussion of her adoption. So, I asked, "Why is this different?" And they answer, "They'll understand Mom. You can talk to Chinese people about it."

Her response has sent my head spinning. Even though my kids are growing up in a white world, they share a comfort level with Asians that catches me off guard. I kid myself that race isn't an issue. But it is, whether I'm aware of it or not. It also made me feel bad for them. Perhaps I need to make a bigger effort to get them into environments with more people of Chinese descent.

It's funny that eight years into this adoption journey, my kids are still schooling me in the world of growing up bi-racially. I hope I'm a good enough student to make the most of these lessons to make their journey as rewarding as possible.