Family Dinner Conversation

So, we're eating dinner last night and I ask La Nina how her day at school was.  Normally, she simply answers "good" and we move on.  Last night she had quite a tale to tell.

"Mom, Boy A was sent to the office and didn't come back because he said a bad word."  

"Really?" I said. 

"Yeah, I heard him say it and the teacher told me to tell her and she promised I wouldn't get in trouble so I whispered it in her ear and then Boy A went to the office for the rest of the day," she said.  

"Oh?" I said.  Then like a fool I asked, "What did he say?"  

"The F-word," La Nina answered.  

Normally,  I assume the f-word was fart.  She often refers to 'stupid' as the s-word and 'hate' as the h-word, so I know her list of bad words is very short.  But given the story of someone going to the office for untold hours, I had a bad feeling about this conversation and I had to know.  

As casually as possible, I asked, "What's the f-word?"  

Between bites of her chicken she said it, the grand kahuna of all curse words, followed by, "it's not really THAT bad of a word." 

I managed to calmly say,  "Yes, it is THAT bad of a word and I don't ever want to hear it from your mouth again."  

Now...this leaves me with a dilemma.  La Nina knows 'the word'.  Someone in her class used 'the word'.   She could use 'the word' at any given moment.  The Magster was all ears during our conversation, she knows 'the word' too.  (In fact, I almost expect the Magster to use it by Friday.)

After the kids went to bed, I realized I was woefully unprepared for new era of parenting.   So, I started off looking on line for suggestions dealing with this issue.  Every suggestion was limit television, monitor their music and watch your own mouth.  She doesn't watch anything but Disney and Noggin, her music tends to be High School Musical, Hannah Montana and Jonas Brothers--no f-bombs there.  And I can honestly say she has never heard that word from my mouth or the Dads.  SO-- then I read how to handle it.  After explaining that it's bad (did that), and clarifying the expectations (did that too.), the experts basically say eliminate the source.  I can't eliminate school....so what to do? 

So today, while at the grocery store, I looked for something to nip this little bomb in the bud.  I looked for a good old fashion bar of soap to have on hand in case a need arises.  Alas, the soap seemed to have so many chemicals in it and more than one friend warned me soap doesn't taste bad enough to be a deterrent, so I passed.  I next wandered over to the spice section for some Tobasco.  I know one friend who has used that, but she used it so many times,  her kids acquired a taste for spicy food.  So, I settled on a good old fashion home remedy...castor oil.  A naturally, occurring plant extract, full of omega-3, a mild laxative and safe for children in small doses.   The good news the stuff will last forever too. According to the expiration date, it's good until 2017, the same year La Nina gets her driver's permit.

But I've been researching on line tonight, it says castor oil doesn't taste bad.  I'm so disappointed.  I need to have something really awful tasting around her now, and my one idea is supposedly odorless and tasteless...and you know, I'm not really willing to find out.  So, I turn to you, my blog readers.  Any suggestions for curbing the potential foul-mouthed five year old? 

Milestones

Whew! It seems like lots of thing have been happening lately, so I'll try to give a brief update of everything we have going:

This weekend La Nina danced at her first dance convention and competition. La Nina enjoyed seven dance classes over two days. And I have to say, the instructors really knew how to engage their young students. The music was Hannah Montana, HSM 1 & 2, Jonas Brothers...you get the idea.  Every dance move was about being a 'rock star.'  For the first time in her life, dance made her sweaty, something she really detests. I was worried she'd quit dancing as the first bead formed on her forehead, but she kept going. Of course, she complained long and loud about the drips after the class ended, but I would expect nothing less from my princess.  

Her dance team competed in a category for five to nine-year-olds. I don't know if they were the youngest team, but they were definitely the shortest of the twenty five tap teams in her division. This competition was far more about paying dues and getting experience than winning. While the girls didn't place, she and her buddies received a very favorable ranking. And all us parents were very proud.

Anyway, she had lots of fun and spends most of her waking hours twirling around the house teaching Maggie new dances, so the weekend was a success in her books.

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Speaking of books, remember a while back I posted about La Nina's quest to read 100 books? Well, she met her goal on Friday and won a lovely stuffed peguin she named Pepito. The teacher amended the rules a couple of weeks ago so the only books that count are books read by the kids to their parents. (Books are very loosely defined.) The rule change slowed her down some, but it didn't derail her efforts. She was on a mission to be the first girl in the class to read 100 books. Fortunately, she made it. And yes, to all the concerned grandparents: the books she read were Spanish as well as English. It's very cute to listen to her read English with a Spanish accent. The next prize is offered at 300 books, and she's very hopeful to complete that number before anyone else. As her teacher has figured out, if you want to motivate La Nina...make her compete. She'll find a way to win.

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This last milestone is mine. I completed the first draft of my book about ten days ago. I've been in a state of shock for the last week, but began work on my second draft this morning. Anyway, my 90,000 word first draft is printed, backed-up, and will soon be stowed in my safe deposit box. Still a long road ahead, but it's nice to complete a goal..

The Early Riser

Most mornings I'm up very early to write. Frankly, it's the only time I can consistently carve out time for myself. And even though it kills me to crawl out of bed at 4am, hey, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Needless to say, I'm always the first one up at my house. And my rule is the kids can't get up until 6am. The reason for this rule is simple: They see lights and think it's time to get up. For La Nina, this isn't a problem. She never gets up before 6am unless there is something wrong. The Magster, on the other hand, knows no such boundary, so the rule was really for her.

Lately, she has developed this habit at about 5:45am of hollering to me, "Momma is it morning yet?" To which I holler back, "No, go back to sleep." Many mornings she did just that and went back to sleep, which was great.

The other day, I moved a digital clock into her room and told her she couldn't get up until six-zero-zero. And that simple act totally changed the nature of our conversation and not for the better.

Fast forward to this morning: I didn't get up. It's just been too cold, so I slept in.

At 5:45, my angel sang out, "Momma, is it morning time?"

From bed, I answered, "What does your clock say?"

"Momma, are you in your bed?"

"Yes, Maggie, what does your clock say?"

At this point, the Dad woke up. He never believed me about these conversations, but he heard every word this morning.

"Momma, I see a five-four-nine".

"Okay, Maggie, it's not morning time."

Pause.

"Whoa, Momma, it changed. It's five-five-zero."

Thinking if I didn't answer, she'd get discouraged, I stayed silent. I was wrong.

"Momma, did you hear me? It changed. Momma, it changed. Now it's five-five-zero. Momma, you still there?"

"Maggie," says a groggy La Nina, "you're waking me up. Go back to sleep."

"Yes, Maggie, go back to sleep."

For the next ten minutes, we were given a minute by minute updates on the time. And if we didn't answer, she became louder and more persistent. Finally, by six am...morning time.. the entire family was awake and only one person was cheerful, and that person wasn't me, La Nina or the Dad. Needless to say, Maggie's digital clock suddenly stopped working. We're just not sure how that happened.

New Perspective on an Old Place

I've lived in the town I currently live in most of my life. I hang out with mostly people I've known since we were in high school or people who are somehow connected (read this as married) to that crowd. I know it's unusual in this day and age to have this small town life, but I like it. All the old familiar faces are a bit like warm sweaters. They embrace you no matter how much weight you've gained or lost, whether you were cool in high school or not, regardless of the twists and turns of your life's path. It's amazing how longevity in friendship increases the capacity for forgiveness.

With La Nina starting school, I've been introduced to a whole new group of people. The only thing I have in common with them is that our kids are in class or dance or gymnastics with theirs and we huddle together at pick up and drop off times. But day in and day out, you see the same faces and soon you start recognizing those faces in the grocery store or at Target or on Main Street having coffee too.

I never chose to live in this town. For me, it's home. However, for most of the new people I've gotten to know, they moved here for one reason: The Schools. And they make no bones about why they're here, how long they plan to stay and what it took to get here. Most of them have moved into town in the past year or two. An astonishing number of them sold houses in other communities, can't afford to buy here, but rent and save their money until they can buy again.

I suppose it's the classic example of taking something for granted. Sure, I know the schools are good and I live in a very nice community. Yes, I think La Nina is having a good kindergarten experience, because of the school and the support it receives from the parents and other members of that community who support local education. And I know living in a good school district is good for your property values. What I didn't expect was to hear about the sacrifices families make to keep their kids in these schools. I guess I just feel lucky that we are here and we plan to stay here.

The Competitive One

To describe La Nina as competitive is a bit of an understatement. Her teacher describes her as fiercely competitive, I think of her as uber-competitive. Most kids don't like to lose, but La NIna not only wants to win, she is driven to be the best. As in, the top in her class. As in, the best dancer. As in, the best gymnast. If someone is better than her or if someone passes her, she works like crazy until she wins again.

Before Christmas, the teacher sent home this new thing where we track books we read to our kids or they read to us. Every time ten books are read, we send our log into the teacher. For every hundred books read, the kids get a prize. If we read about 15 books a week, I figured we'd log 100 books by mid-February. So, after I saw the note before Christmas, I put the whole thing away. For crying out loud, it was Christmas. After Christmas, if I read her a book, I logged it. Eventually I told the Dad the new system. When she went to school Monday, she had ten books completed. I figured that was good.

Today a little classmate turned logged his 100th book and got a prize. The teacher also told the class the person who took the longest to get to 100 books would not get a prize. The good news is another mom casually mentioned this classmate's achievement BEFORE La Nina walked out of the classroom. The bad news is me, this was like a giant waving a red scarf in front of a bull. The minute La Nina walked out of her class I heard about her classmate, and I heard about it all the way to dance, then all the way home from dance.

Once we were home, La NIna sat down with about five of her Spanish practice books in front of her and while I made dinner she read all five books to me in Spanish. Then, after dinner she insisted I read her two more books, a magazine, which counts as a book and then she read two practice sheets. All told, she entered nine books onto her log in about two hours.

As I was tucking her in, she asked about the log.

"Mom, did you write down my books?"

"I will on my way out," I said. "I kept the pile near the sheet. You can turn in another sheet in the morning."

"Okay, I have to get 100 tomorrow."

"La Nina," I said. "How many book have the other kids read?"

"About ten," she said.

"Why don't we take our time?"

"Mom, I have to read the most," she said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because if I'm last, I won't get a prize," she said.

"You won't be last," I told her.

"Mom, you never know. So, we'll read in the morning time."

So, I guess I know what I'll be doing tomorrow before she leaves for school and after we get home, and all day Friday too. Somehow, I'm guessing this is going to fill my weekend and my time next week. And, you know, I don't doubt she'll get to 100 long before my projection of mid-February.

Back to Reality

Well, that was about the fastest two week break I can remember. When it was December 21 and school wasn't starting until January 7, that sounded so long. In reality, it was a blink of the eye. Given La Nina started back to school today, the break is officially over. Here are some of the highlights that were gifts I received only because the kids weren't in school:

**Ice Skating in San Francisco with the 'injured' Auntie and lunch at the Rainforest Cafe was a blast. We took BART into the city. Auntie only skated for a single lap, but helped with the girls as I took them each around. By the end, they were starting to skate independently. I hope it becomes a tradition.

Seeing the movie Enchanted. We went last week. Of course, we had to convince La Nina there were no witches. At the end of the movie, she said, "It was okay, but my fingers are killing me." I assumed they'd been in her mouth, but nope: she'd had them in her ears for two hours. She thought the show was too loud. PS: Don't miss this movie if you have kids or just want to see a very fun, girly movie.

Scheduling play dates for Maggie
It's good to see Maggie begin developing her own friendships and going on play dates. Of course, she didn't speak for an hour at one of the play dates. Even after her friend asked "Maggie, Why aren't you talking to me?", she remained silent. But she did have fun after she found her voice. The second play date was a hoot. We had a little friend of hers over. I knew it would be out of hand when the friend showed up wearing a Hannah Montana shirt. Maggie and her friend sang and danced for two hours straight. At the end of the play date they hugged and said, "I love you so much." It was very cute.

*******
The best conversation I overheard:

While sitting at the counter eating lunch:

Maggie: Singing along with Radio Disney.
La Nina: Maggie, please be quiet. I just need a minute of quiet.
Maggie: Sings louder.
La Nina: Maggie, really. You've been singing all morning. Stop.
Maggie: Sings louder still.
La Nina: Maggie, you've got to stop. How am I supposed to eat with all that noise?

It's so nice to know my daughter shares my pain.
*******

Best Comment Made by each child:
Maggie: "Mom, all you do is laundry, laundry, laundry. Do you love it? "

Carly: While eating whole wheat noodles for the first time...
"Mom, this is like the most totally disgusting thing I've ever eaten. Really, it is."
She ate the whole plate. It wasn't THAT bad.
********

I hope you had as much fun on your Christmas break as we did on ours.

A New Year Begins

Happy 2008 Everyone! I've spent the day trying to get the last of Christmas dealt with and also thinking about what the next year holds for me.

I'm a big resolution gal. Every year I make and keep a resolution for the new year. As far back as I can remember, I've successfully completed my resolutions too. The key to success is I never resolve something like weight loss or saving more money. I believe in making resolutions that are more goal oriented. For instance, I've resolved twice to complete adoption dossiers, got those done. I once resolved to get published as a writer, happily that worked out too. I have also made resolutions involving job changes, which all happened within the calendar year. I've also always kept my resolutions quiet. In fact, I don't think I've ever told anyone. Well, maybe the Dad, but in some cases, not even him.

Which brings me to this year. A year ago, I resolved to finish a book. And darn it, I missed. I've manuscripted through the end of my first novel, but my first draft is five chapters short of completion. And the reason is simple: Writing fiction is the hardest thing I've ever attempted. There are timelines, outlines, character profiles, plots, subplots, I can't think about it too much or my head starts spinning. I had no idea how complicated it was when I started. Oh yeah...and I have two kids which severely limit the time I spend on actually writing to about an hour or two a day.

Yet, I'm close. By April, maybe May, I should have a draft to give to my readers. And with any luck, I'll be accepted into a big writers' workshop this summer, where my work will most likely be shredded, but the pain will make the second draft better. And may be just maybe after I fix all the problems and create a few more in the process, I'll be able to start querying agents and publishers' to get this thing out there.

So, I guess that's my resolution this year. To keep at it. To stay focused on the book. To believe in it. Because even if I didn't get a draft done in 2007, I'm 70,000 words (I have no idea how many pages) closer today than when I started. Alas, I can't say I'll be in a position to sell it in 2008, but I can promise by the end of this year, I'll be in a position to try.

PS: I'll update my progress as I hit some big milestones in my project and I should have several in the next few months.