Well, if I do nothing, then...

I went to pick up the girls from school today and I was met by the snickers of a teacher. Apparently in La Nina's class the kids were talking about what their Mommy's and Daddy's do for work. Near as I can tell, here's how the conversation went:

Teacher: And what does your daddy do all day, La Nina?
La Nina: He leaves the house and works really hard.
Teacher: What about your Mommy?
La Nina: She does nothing.

Yes, my daughter told her class that I lay on the couch all day long and eat bon-bons. I wish! Now, I find this amusing. One because it's my dream to do nothing, but any one who knows me will atest to the fact that 'nothing' is not in my DNA. And two because said DNA problems end up leading me to overcommit myself. This 'nothing' theory sure leave me exhausted most of the time.

But more importantly, why would she answer this? She sees me doing housework, she knows I leave for work 3 days a week, she sees my bylines in the paper, she knows about my volunteer things and all of this equals...nothing. You have to admit, it's funny.

The teacher who knows I'm a writer also found it amusing, as did the school director and the other parents who were also picking up kids at the same time I was. I just wish it were true.

Goodness, We have a Date!

Tonight was Kindergarten Orientation for parents in our neck of the woods. The night when all parents must go and get the low down from the school district on what to expect. Amid the parents who were worried that the public school system might slow down their child's learning of algebra and the other parents asking if it was possible to enroll their children in two programs as one hardly seemed sufficient sat me.

My only question: Homework. I want to know how much homework they're assigning kindergartners these days. Why? I'm not very good at homework. Ok, I spent high school dodging the actual work of home work. How am I going to make my kids sit down and do their reading when the only thing I ever read was Cliff notes? And as for math, they're going to pass me in the third grade. Ok, I may hang through elementary school, but I'm definitely toast in Junior High. And now, the school system thinks its wise to put me in charge of supplementing my children's education? I still remember some of these teachers. I don't think they ever figured out my tricks. I'm worried for my kids. Truly.

I see the homework packets kindergartners are bringing home each week. I see the parents patiently coaching their kids through the worksheets at gymnastics. Is that going to be me soon? How am I not going to say, "Oh, this is ridiculous! Let's just find a shortcut." I guess we'll be finding out. We register next month, go on site visits with the kids in April, get placed in June and (gulp), meet our teachers the week of 8/22, and start 8/28. It's all happening so fast. And somehow, I really think the school district needs to consider leaving me in charge of homework.

PS My parents as witnesses, this is in no way an admission of bad grades. I received decent grades, completed college with honors and am gainfully employed. I just never liked homework.

Big Food-Free Weekend

Well, all I'm back from the San Francisco Writers Conference and I can officially say I'm a published short story writer. My essay, "Butterflies", was published in the conference anthology. (Yes, I do have a few copies for family.)

I will forever think of this conference as the no-food conference. It started at 11am on Friday, but there was no lunch, only scones in the afternoon. Rumor had it there were appetizers at the cocktail party, but I only saw empty trays. No dinner was planned, because I think the organizers thought we'd want to dine out. Only rolls for breakfast, and literally, 8 raviolis for lunch on Saturday. I left the conference at one point and found a little grocery store to buy some supplies. It was grim.

Other than the serious lack of food, the conference was good. Learned a lot about the whole world of book publishing, and now I'm officially scared. Agents and editors and publicists, oh my! Not too worry, though, I don't have a completed book, yet!

The highlight was the Dad and the kids joining me on Saturday. He braved it on BART with both girls alone. Good for him! The kids got to ride a cable car for the first time and then we bummed around Chinatown on the eve of the lunar new year. Lots of firecrackers which didn't phase La Nina in the least. (I was sort of shocked.) Then we had dinner in North Beach before grabbing a cab and heading back up to the hotel. (I was staying on Nob Hill.)

Anyway, it was a good weekend. And if you're interested in buying the anthology with my story, check out this link.

But Sometimes The Mother Really Does Know

In preparation for Kindergarten, the preschool has begun phasing out La Nina's naps. Now, I know most of the moms in the class were praying for this as day time napping causes their kids not to sleep at night. However, I have been dreading this forced nap reduction. Why? Because La Nina still needs naps most days.

Oh sure, a couple of days a week, she's ok without a nap, but not school days. Even on her nap free, non-school days, she falls asleep for 20-30 minutes every afternoon, especially if you put her in a car. I expressed my concerns to the school, to friends, to other Moms, to anyone who would listen to me...and everyone discounted my fears. (The Grandmothers did not discout my worries...they know.) Any hoo, I've been told that I "coddle her napping needs" (the school), "based on her age, she doesn't physically need a nap" (friends who fancy themselves medical), I'm "just being cautious because she's my oldest" (nameless person who I should never listen to) and best, I'm "exaggerating" her sleep patterns.

In fairness, the school is phasing the nap out slowly. Since the first of Feb. she's been to school three days without a nap. But it's safe to say...it's a disaster. Here's the run down of events:

Day 1: I picked her up and she began weeping as soon as she got in the car. She cried the whole way home. No reason, just spontaneous tears. I made her chicken nuggets for dinner. She wept while she ate and she went to bed at 6:15pm.
Day 2: She made it to an early family dinner, but could only put food in her mouth when she removed her fingers from the same mouth. She almost drifted off during the meal. I put her to bed at 6:35. She told me she wasn't tired with a yawn, then practically fell asleep sitting up.
Day 3 (today): I picked her up from school early, knowing it was going to be ugly. She got in the van and told me "Mom, I need to sleep at school. I'm just get too tired." She came home, wept when her sister colored a Little Pony coloring page yellow instead of pink and was sent to bed for an attitude problem at 6:40pm.

So- first, I need a moment to say, "NEINER, NEINER, NEINER, I'm right!" Okay, now that I'm past that, I guess I will need to pick her up earlier on non-napping days so I can see her before she goes to bed. Man, I hope she gets morning Kindergarten!

****A note regarding slower blog posts: Yes, I've slowed down posting. The reason? Not a vacation, darn it. I've landed a big writing project and spend most evenings writing about Road Safety in Africa--really. Guess why motorcyclist don't like to wear helmets in Nigeria? It's hot there! Trust me, I'd rather be writing here, so I'll try to post at least weekly and I'll get back to my normal pace as soon as the work is complete.

Charlotte's Web

Of all the books I read in my childhood, Charlotte's Web was one of my favorites. I often refer to it as the book that made me fall in love with reading. With the movie out, I've been dying to take the kids to see it. I made it happen yesterday.

We went with another family. This family has two boys exactly the same age as La Nina and the Magster. Better yet, the boys rank among the best friends of each girl, so it makes hanging out with their family very easy. It doesn't hurt that I've known their dad since 6th grade, and their Mom since college. So, the parents are old friends to boot.

We met at the movies and it was all good. We bought the tickets, got the kids booster seats, situated ourselves with flawless timing. The Moms were on the end. The five year olds and the three year olds were lined up boy-girl, boy-girl. The lights went out and the fireworks started.

La Nina, who doesn't like loud noises or the dark, was in my lap 5 seconds after the previews started. Once the movie started, she started asking to go home, loudly. Really loudly. Unfortunately, the Magster didn't agree and told her sister to be quiet, which made her sister cry. At that point, La Nina and I left the theatre and I called the Daddy-knight to the rescue of his princess.

He moaned and groaned, not wanting to miss the pre-game of the Superbowl. He even tried to sweet talk the princess into staying. She begged him to come pick her up. There were more tears. At that point, the knight began to charge to her rescue in a shining SUV.

Now, I really wanted to see this movie and we live a good 15 minutes from the theatre. There was no way I was going to miss 15 minutes of the movie for a teary eyed princess, especially when I had another princess inside by herself. So, I put the phone on mute, grabbed La Nina's hand and headed back into the theatre. There was a good deal more whimpering, but she went along. We stood in the hallway of the theatre where I could keep an eye on the Magster, who was riveted and happily eating a cookie, but also make an escape when my cell phone buzzed. About 5 minutes into the wait, 'M.J.', La Nina's buddy, joined us in the breeze way.

"La Nina," he asked. "What's wrong? Are you scared?"

Through her tears, La Nina nodded.

Tenderly, 'M.J.' said, "But you can sit next to me, you don't have to be scared."

At which point, she dropped my hand and trotted into the theatre after her buddy.

All the parental persuasion in the world couldn't accomplish the request of a friend. Then, I went through several moments of disbelief, followed by an overwhelming feeling of doom. Peer pressure starts young. Very young. With nothing left to do, I followed them back to my seat and sent a text message to the Knight in the Shining SUV that the princess had a new prince.

The Daddy-knight went to the superbowl party as planned, just a little early, and we watched the rest of the movie. I wept when Charlotte "languished" just as I did when I was a kid, and I enjoyed every minute of the movie. The Magster ended up falling asleep in my lap, but she liked it too. Especially the cookies. And La Nina? She claimed it was the best movie ever.

A Day with Nana

Every Thursday, the girls spend the day with Nana. Basically, my Mom (and my Dad too, but he's yellow and when the going gets tough, he goes golfing) devotes an entire day a week to nothing but the girls...and it works out well for everyone.

During these days, the girls get to participate in several non-parental approved activity. I know it is grandparent's job to spoil kids, so I don't sweat the little things that happen during their days together. And occasionally, a story emerges that just has to be told. So, sorry Mom...but this is too good not to write about.

Today, Nana decided to give the girls gum. I've convinced La Nina she can't chew gum until she's five. Really, I don't think that, but if I give gum to La Nina, I have to give it to the Magster, and at 3, she's not ready. However, today, Nana gave both girls gum.

La Nina did just fine. She's clear on the gum concept. But the Magster, well, she's a Magster and after a few minutes of gum chewing Nana noticed that the Magster's little mouth was awfully still.

"Where's the gum, Maggie?" Nana asked.

"In your purse, Nana." Maggie answered.

I only wish I could have been there to see the look on my Mother's face. 'Cuz the Magster was right, the only gum left was in her Nana's purse.