Family Contributions Help Living Conditions

Apparently, the prior entry on the state of my house was interpretted as a desperate plea for help by members of my family. The offers for assistance were pouring in the morning after I posted the honest assessment of our living conditions. Not being a fool, I took full advantage of the offers. So, thanks to 2 days of cooperative, concurrent napping by the girls AND a third day of the full Dolan press, I am happy to report our living conditions have vastly improved. Here is my revised household inventory:

• For the first time since the first of October, our dining room table is not only visible but actually absent of all but the most minimal clutter.
• We have a living room with couches and a grown up coffee table, and most importantly, no signs of Christmas.
• The entry way is still a play ground, but it is still raining. This room will remain a play ground as long as the weather warrants it.
  
• The bedrooms are vastly improved. All the girls' clothes have been put away and one of the dressers has been sorted and reorganized. I now have a charity bag and a hand-me-down bag started.
  

I am ending the year with my house back to normal and looking forward to 2005, even though it is doubtful I will be awake late enough to see the New Year. Thank you to Nana and Papa for taking LaNina all day, Auntie for coming over this afternoon to keep me focused and Maggie for taking 2 naps over an 1.5 hour each today. My spirits are vastly improved, thanks to your contributions. Happy New Year to All!

Surprise in the Mail

Today, we received a surprise in the mail-- pictures of Maggie's crib and finding location. The orphanage sent the pictures as promised during our visit in November. I am so happy we have these pieces of history for Maggie when she gets older. I am still sad we couldn't visit the finding location ourselves, but it was over 90km from Suixi, too far for our day trip. At least now, we have pictures.

Seeing the pictures of Maggie's finding location is so emotional for me. It is in this spot Maggie's birth parents last saw their baby. My heart shattered for Maggie's birth parents as I looked at the pictures. Maggie's Dad and I are the two people in this world that know the magnitude of the loss they experienced that day. I know that something must have been very wrong in their lives to accept the loss of their child over the consequences of keeping her. How sad. How very, very tragic.

There is another side to finding locations. The finding location is also the starting place of Maggie's journey to us. Finding locations are usually selected with great care. Birth parents want their babies to be found quickly, so they seek places that are well populated, yet private. Markets, factories, parks are all common find locations. It is dangerous to leave a baby to be found, yet it has been reported that birthparents often wait near the site until the babies are found. (Can you imagine?) So, while this site is a spot of great sadness, it is a site of where a great act of bravery and love happened as well. Judging from the pictures, Maggie's birthparents wanted very much for her to be found. What a gift they gave her that day she was found.

The value of these pictures is we can provide Maggie some answers regarding her history. We can show the pictures to Maggie when she is older and tell her what we know about the beginnings of her journey to us. It is my hope, that someday, she understands both views of this finding location. It is a beginning and an end; a door closing and a door opening. It is the spot of incredible loss and sadness as well as a spot incredible bravery, hope and love. I hope these pictures help us provide Maggie a little more clarity and maybe a little closure someday.

The House Hits a Low

The state of our house has reached a new low. I can not remember a time when it has ever looked this bad. A room by room inventory is just pathetic:

The Dining Room: The table is not visible. In fact, you would never guess there is a table in that room. Right now, it just looks like there is a big pile of stuff in the middle of the room. In the pile, there are presents that need to be put away, ornaments that never made it on the tree, Christmas decorations that were too tempting for either the kids or the dogs that had to be put out of reach, unshipped Christmas gifts, undelivered Christmas gifts, items that belong in the living room but no longer fit in the living room due to the state of the living room.

The Living Room: Well, Christmas took place in the living room and not much has changed since Christmas morning. There are piles of empty boxes, piles of gifts not yet put away, piles of Christmas decorations that never made it on the tree. (I swear, I meant to finish decorating that tree.) There are also little scraps of wrapping paper and tissue paper all over the floor. I swear I get it all picked up and more scraps appear out of no where.

The Entry Hall: How sad, even the entry hall is thrashed. In our house, the entry is an indoor play yard at the moment, complete with a slide, tunnel and push toy for Maggie. There are also a bevy of toys for our 'family circle time'. This is when we break out the parachute, sing songs, play games and make music with instruments. Given that the forecast is for at least another week of rain, I think this room will be cleaned up last. Of course, it makes entering our house difficult, but may be that is a good thing.

The Family Room: I thought this was the neatest room in the house until my Mom took one look at the room and started picking up. Really, it is pretty normal mess level in the family room. The only new piece of clutter is the stroller I use for Maggie's naps. At nap time, it is easiest to just stick Maggie in the stroller and let her sleep in the middle of everything. The noise of the radio, La Nina and I lull her to sleep. Also, it is always helpful to have another restraining device handy with that child.

The Kitchen: For logistical reasons, this room is cleaned every night. At the moment it looks ok, but 5 pm tomorrow, this will not be the case. At one point earlier this evening, the floor was not visible. This was due to a shredded Costco mailer, pieces of a Candy Land game and Maggie rummaging through the cabinets. The kitchen is doubling as an art room in this weather, so while the kitchen is clean, the counter is cluttered with a variety of art supplies in case La Nina is inspired to create.

The Bedrooms/Bathrooms: Unfolded laundry, folded un-put away clothes, clothes the girls have outgrown and various toys are strewn in every bedroom. The bathrooms aren't much better, with random toys on those floors. I don't know where all the stuff on the floors comes from, but if I walked around picking up stuff all day long (and I do), I don't think my floors would be clean.

The other part of the story that is sad: Bills need to be paid, thank you notes need to be written and sent, Christmas trees taken down. I just don't know when it is all going to happen. Maybe I should end this entry and get to work...

Our 2004 Holiday Card

2004 Family Update

Well..since we actually mailed some Holiday Cards and gave out this URL, I thought I better write some sort of "Year in Review" so our friends don't have to read clear back to Oct. 1 to get caught up. Besides, there was lots of stuff that happened before Oct. 1 worth mentioning.

As you may have guessed by now, the highlight of 2004 was adopting a second daughter from China. The process only took 10.5 months to complete, start to finish. It took us 18 months to adopt La Nina. We started our paperwork for our second adoption in January, assuming that we would travel to meet our little girl sometime in early 2005. Well, China had other plans and the process sped up considerably while we were waiting. By mid-September, we had pictures of the darling Sui Yu Zhen, soon to be our Margaret Michael Yuzhen aka Maggie. Our second daughter was in our arms November 15 and came home to her waiting sister on November 26.

Maggie was a little over 12 months old when we met her and walking, so her transition into our family has been very different than La Nina's. If you read further into this journal, you will learn she has evolved into perfect addition to our family. She is a happy, zany little girl who has no trouble keeping her older sister in line. Maggie is very loud and very busy. Not that La Nina isn't loud or busy, it is just Maggie takes it to a different level. Maggie just loves to make noise. Whether with her voice or with a toy, if it is loud, Maggie is happy.

La Nina will be three in early March and is turning into a little girl before our eyes. She started pre-school this Summer and it works well with her very social nature. She lives for Dora the Explorer and loves to tell us all about Swiper's latest antics. She also likes the Disney Princesses and enjoyed Disneyland greatly on her 2nd birthday. She and I participate in a playgroup every Friday and she has taken a couple of gymnastic classes this year. She really has had a fun year. Hard to believe we celebrated her 2nd Family Day a couple of weeks ago.

La Nina and Maggie's Dad continues to do well. The Hop Yards continue to thrive- hard to believe it's been some 11 years since opening the first one in Pleasanton. He has stepped down from some of his community activities to dedicate more time to our growing family. He loves being a Dad and hanging with his girls. He is bitter about Cal's BCS Bowl snub, but I am sure he will recover. And he is perhaps the greatest proponent of my blogging, since more "online" venting has equated to less "spousal" venting.

As for me, well, I have my hands full. The girls keep me on my toes. I am on leave from work to take care of Maggie until May. So far, the time is flying. I am working harder now than I ever have at any paying job. I still enjoy my Saturday morning hikes with the girls and dogs, and have greatly enjoyed writing daily to keep this journal up to date. I appreciate so much living near family. I don't know how I would manage without all of their support.

Family highlights from the year included: A trip to Disneyland for La Nina's second birthday in March, a trip to provincial China in April to visit La Nina's orphanage, a trip to San Diego in August with the families we traveled to China with to adopt La Nina and of course, nothing compared to our trip to China in November to adopt our precious Maggie.

Overall, 2004 was a wonderful year for us. We hope that it was a wonderful year for your family as well.

The girls check out all the Christmas booty

Maggie loves her maracas- shaka, shaka, shaka!

Santa ate the cookies and drank the hot cocoa, and the reindeer at the carrots!

La Nina woke up and ran to check under the tree... and saw that Santa left her a sweet scooter!

Christmas by the Numbers

As I sit here and begin to relax for the first time since mid-November, it is nice to know that we had a lovely Christmas. At times, our holiday was definitely more Beverly Hillbillies than Norman Rockwell, but it was happy and that is all that matters. I could recap all the events of the day, but there are a few fun facts that I would rather share.

Here is my own version of Christmas by the numbers:

• Emergency trips to Walgreens after 9PM on Christmas Eve: 1
• Hostess gifts purchased: 2
• Hostess gifts successfully delivered: 0
• Bottles of wine purchased for hostess gifts: 3
  
• Bottles of wine remembered as gifts: 1
• Bottles of wine decorated for the season: 0 (It never even crossed my mind this year!)
• Batches of cookies made: 2
• Batches eaten by Pete, the dog: 1
• Tears shed over cookies eaten by Pete, the Dog: Several
• Diaper changes during meals: 3
• Really bad diaper changes during meals: 2
• Hot meals consumed by Mom: 0
  
• Presents purchased: 32
• Presents wrapped Christmas Eve: 12
• Bows on packages: 0
• Packages missing tags with names scrawled across them: 3
• Presents still unmailed: 9
• Holiday Greetings missing addresses and stamps: All
• Homemade Christmas gifts attempted this year: 25
• Homemade Christmas gifts completed this year: 0
• Questions asked by La Nina regarding Santa's whereabouts on Christmas Eve: 247
• Questions asked by La Nina regarding Santa's whereabouts on Christmas Day: 0
• Total combined hours slept by Dad and I on Christmas Eve: 9
• Hours Nostrand girls spent napping on Xmas Day: 3 (not good)
• Meltdowns per child on Xmas Day due to short naps: 2
  
• Toys taken away from tired children who couldn't share: 4
• Shouts of "Mine" followed by pushes courtesy of La Nina: 7
• Acts of brutal retaliation launched by Maggie: 5
• Instances when La Nina ended up in tears due to sister's retaliation: 4
  
• Candy canes eaten by La Nina on Xmas Day: 4 (that I know about)
• Requests made by La Nina for additional Candy Canes: 41
  
• Thank yous forgotten due to hasty exits with tired children: 6
• Times Dad and I felt grateful for our girls and wonderful family: Countless

Merry Christmas! We hope your holiday was as joyful as ours!

The girls help mommy make cookies and a mess

Maggie getting in on the Xmas cookie action

Mornings. Whatever Happened to my Mornings!

Ahhh...I must take a moment to grieve my past life. I remember a time in the not so distant past when I could get out of bed, walk the dogs, and read the paper while listening to James Taylor and sipping my coffee in peace. I miss those mornings. I really do. It is the only part of my past life I really miss since becoming a parent. Everytime someone dreamily asks me, "Can you even remember your life before kids?" My mind immediately goes to my past mornings, and I sigh with a bit of sadness.

Peaceful is not a word I would use to describe my mornings today. I get more done now before 8am than I used get done before Noon. This morning was particularly painful. The family was headed to a cookie decorating festival at 10am. For some reason, the two little ones woke up on the wrong side of their respective beds and nothing went smoothly. Maggie was whiny and clingy from the mooment she opened her eyes. La Nina followed her sister's lead, but she took a different approach. She was just difficult. From breakfast to clothing selection to TV viewing time, La Nina had ideas of her own that were not practical for a 2.5 year old in December. The breakfast meltdown took the cake. She basically didn't eat (her choice), but I heard about her hunger for 2 hours while her breakfast sat on the table. By 8AM, I had both girls lined up on the futon and was administering droppers of Tylenol by the "one for you" method. You know, 'one for you, one for you, one for me.'

At 9AM, La Nina was sitting next to the door with her jacket on and zipped waiting to leave. The good news is Dad was taking her Christmas shopping so she left by 9:15 about the time, Maggie had a full, head-banging meltdown on the family room floor. There was just no comforting that child this morning. I decided Maggie was tired and took her flailing baby body out to the van. I started the van, strapped her into the car seat and handed her her beloved blanket. She was out in 2 minutes. I guessed right on the tired scenario.

After Maggie was asleep, I did what every reasonable second time Mom would do, I went into my now blissfully quiet house finished my coffee, moved laundry, cleaned the kitchen, packed the diaper bag and departed 30 minutes later. I figured in my climate controlled mini-van, parked in our driveway, Maggie was safe. Frankly, I would have pitied any kidnapper who snatched that kid this AM. I checked on her every few minutes or so and I knew she was resting peacefully. The bottom line, we both got what we needed: her a nap and me, a glimpse of my mornings from yesteryear. Oh sweet peace and quiet. I felt a little guilty at enjoying the quiet so much, but it was amazing how much I accomplished without my helpers.

After we got out of the house, our morning was delightful and the girls had a wonderful time decorating cookies with their cousins. Who knows what their problems were this AM? Teething? Jealousy? Adjustment issues? I have no idea, but the next time you see me and dreamily ask, "Can you even remember life without them?" My answer is "Yes! And I really miss my mornings!"

Christmas Joy Begins!

Last night we started celebrating Christmas, I was one gift short and have an IOU outstanding to poor Papa. As you can tell by the look on Maggie's face, she had a blast. Both of the girls did. Of course, I think Maggie only wants boxes and tissues from Santa this year. I am sure Santa will handle it.

La Nina also had a great time last night. She understands presents now and did a good job taking turns. We were very proud of her. It is hard to wait your turn at any age, but especially at 2 and a half. She was a trooper and remembered to say Thank You. It is very fun to see her excited about the holiday.

Perhaps the best surprise is that a box of holiday greetings arrived in the mail today. Apparently, Maggie's Dad figured out I was not making any progress on holiday cards and he dealt with the issue. Hooray for Dad! I love it when someone solves a problem for me.

On a personal note, Happy Birthday Dad! I love you very much and appreciate all you do for the girls and I.

La Nina in awe of her new Dora backpack while Tio looks on

Maggie helps open gifts for our early Dolan Christmas celebration

'Tis the Season!

Yes, it is Christmas. "A Holly, Jolly Christmas, the Best Time of the Year," the song goes, I think. But this year, I am just struggling to find the spirit.

I am not sure why I am not in the spirit of the season. I feel like I should be more in the spirit, but instead, it just seems like I have a really long to do list and not a lot of time to do it. Also, it seems my little angels have no desire to cooperate to get the tasks done, so I end up frustrated. A glance down my 'Christmas To Do List' is a little scary: Gifts unpurchased, cards/greetings not started, the tree only sort of decorated, the house sort of decorated, baking sort of started.

Does it matter that our Christmas Tree is only half decorated? No. Does it matter that our Christmas Cards are probably going to be holiday cards and that holiday may be Valentine's? No. Does it matter that all the baking is complete? No. But somehow, everywhere I look there are messages that Christmas is supposed to be a Norman Rockwell painting complete with cookies just out of the oven, and these days I am lucky if I get dinner out of the oven let alone a fresh batch of cookies.

Two years ago, we had the chance to spend Christmas in China. The Chinese spin on Christmas is a little different than the US spin on Christmas. In China, you see Christmas Trees, Santas, even hear Christmas Carols, but missing is the whole spiritual aspect of the Holiday. So the Christmas in my life that was truest to the real meaning of Christmas, I spent in a place devoid of the 'true' holiday spirit. Kind of ironic.

But, two years ago, we had just adopted La Nina and that Christmas was so wonderful. It didn't matter where we were. We were together as a family for the first time. We didn't open gifts, La Nina was our gift. As much as we missed our family and our home that year, it didn't matter. Our home was a hotel room at the China Hotel because we were in it together. For me, that Christmas captured the truest meaning of Christmas because it was truly filled with peace and joy of being a family and nothing else. There was nothing complicated or chaotic about it. This year, while I am trying to adjust to two kids and simultaneously deal with holiday chaos, Christmas 2004 will be just as soulful as Christmas 2002, but I am worried we will miss the peace of 2002. And I am worried I will be so exhausted by Christmas day, that I won't recognize the joy.

To find the peace, this week I need to let go of the stress and chaos. I may have to give gift certificates, send cards late and buy store bought cookies for Santa. Whatever it takes, because I don't want to compromise the true meaning of the holiday or miss any of the joy. This Christmas is another first for our family--it is the first with a family of four--and that is worthy of enjoying.

Wow! We Made the News!

In case you don't live in Pleasanton, our story made the local paper! Here is the link to the online version:

www.PleasantonWeekly.com

The night we first met Carly (La Nina) two years ago

Two Years Ago Today

Two years ago today, we met La Nina in the Hefei Holiday Inn, in Hefei, Anhui Province, People's Republic of China. On one hand, it feels as if she has been with us always, and on the other, it seems just yesterday, her Dad and I were standing nervously in the center of the room waiting for our little girl to be placed into our arms.

Our agency handles family introductions with as much dignity as possible. Each family has their turn to stand in the center of the room and an agency representative formally introduces the parents to the baby, usually carried into the room by a representative from the orphanage. Each family is given adequate time to capture photos of the moment, then the family moves aside for the next family to be born.

It is hard to describe the emotions you feel when you know you are about to meet someone you are going to love for the rest of your life. It is exciting, exhilarating and terrifying all at once. Since La Nina is our first child, I think I was mostly terrified; a result of jet lag, over education and no real experience parenting.

I remember very little of the actual meeting. I remember seeing her in the door way, I remember recognizing her from the baby in the pictures we had received a couple of weeks earlier and I remember feeling her weight in my arms. That is about all of my actual memories. The rest of what I know of the event comes from a video shot by another parent about to meet his daughter. We will forever be grateful to him for the great footage he shot of that moment.

After holding La Nina for a few minutes, I remember La Nina looking at us very quizzically. She wasn't crying or scared, just a little confused about why she'd been woken up and handed over to these people who looked, sounded and smelled very odd. Later when we undressed her, we discoverd she was quite sick. She was running a fever and her chest was rattling with every breath. It turned out she had bronchitis. Just a little more terror for this first time Mom. But you know, if you can survive your first night of parenthood in a hotel room in China with a very sick baby, then you are prepared for just about anything else.

We were not alone in the conference room the night we received our daughter. Our family was born in the presence of 6 other families. They bore witness for us, and we bore witness for them. We took each others pictures, listened to each others stories and offered each other support through those first days of parenting. Those people are now extended family. We enjoy reunions and watching those babies grow into robust pre-schoolers. I can't tell you how much joy it brings us to get their Holiday Greetings and email updates.

Reflecting back over the last two years, I am so grateful my life journey led me down the adoption path. I am so grateful to La Nina's birth parents, who started her life journey to us. I hope their birth daughter is living the life they dreamed for her when they had to let her go. I am so grateful to the People's Republic of China for providing La Nina with care during her wait and guiding her to us, and I am so grateful to God for placing La Nina in our arms on December 16, 2002.

It's beginning to look alot like Christmas!

A Day in the Life

Yesterday, I wrote down my activities by time and realized, I live a very amusing life:

5:30AM Maggie is hungry. Screaming. Mommy makes a bottle, gives a bottle, feeds the dogs, puts the coffee on and grabs the papers.

6:00AM Bottle inpires morning "activities" and Mommy must change a very smelly diaper. Since Mommy must strip Maggie, Mommy decides just to get her dressed. Mommy's coffee is getting cold on the counter. She poured a cup, but has had no time to drink it.

6:30AM La Nina is screaming. La Nina, her bed and most of her blankets are wet, very wet. The problem: She has decided pull-ups are like diapers and she only wants to sleep in panties. Mommy must strip the bed, wash down the child. Since she is naked, Mommy dresses the child. Daddy has slept through everything.

7AM Maggie is hungry for breakfast. Mommy must scramble a couple of eggs. La Nina wants oatmeal, Mommy makes oatmeal. Mommy reheats coffee for the first time. Approximately 1/4 of a cup of coffee is consumed.

7:30AM Time for morning rituals: Asthma medicine, face washing, hair brushing, teeth brushing, etc. Coffee is still in the microwave from reheating it.

8AM La Nina and Daddy leave for school. Maggie and Mommy get ready for some holiday shopping. Mommy wants to get out early as she is way behind and doesn't have enough holiday spirit to put up with crowd. Mommy gulps down remainder of luke warm coffee in 3 minutes. Mommy realizes she hasn't showered, so does so very quickly with Maggie pounding on the shower door wailing the entire time.

8:45AM With a diaper bag packed with lunch and an extra bottle, Mommy and Maggie head to Target in San Ramon, Mommy's favorite store.

9:00AM Maggie is asleep in the sling as Mommy shops in Target. Mommy is thinking that Maggie has gained some weight since China. Target has been reshuffled for the holidays and in her sleep deprived state lugging 20 lbs of baby weight, Mommy struggles to complete her Target Christmas shopping.

10:00AM Mommy and Maggie (now awake and hungry) head for the van for a bottle and to get the stroller so we can head to the book store. After a quick diaper change, Mommy realizes she has to go too, but a bathroom stop with her wild child is just out of the question.

10:30AM Into the book store we head for a book for La Nina's Christmas party. Mommy realizes La Nina should be involved in this whole process, but the thought of two kids in a book store is very unappealing. Mommy buys a book for the party without La Nina and decides just to show it to La Nina.

11:00AM The bathroom situation is reaching crisis levels so Mommy decides to head home. Maggie can eat lunch and then we can pick up La Nina.

11:30AM Home. Whew! Time for Maggie's Lunch. She absolutely chows down on yogurt, baby food and rice cereal. Her eating is very impressive.

Noon Maggie's lunch inspires more "activity". Another diaper change and then it is out the door to mail a letter and pick up La Nina.

1PM We are back from picking up La Nina. La Nina is exhausted and needs a nap. However, she is mad because Mommy won't let her read the book for the gift exchange at school. Mommy pulls out a special Dora Christmas book that was supposed to be a surprise to appease her and it seems to work. La Nina is down for her nap.

1:30PM Maggie is happily playing. Mommy can return a couple of phone calls, one which is 4 days over due.

2Pm. Mommy realizes she hasn't had lunch. Grabs a protein bar and starts trying to clean the kitchen, but Maggie is being too helpful.

2:30 PM La Nina is awake, happier and ready for her snack. Maggie is game for a snack too. Mommy gets the kitchen clean.

3:00 PM Snack is over, girls need to get out, so we head out front to ride tri-cycles and get pushed in the car. Diaper change is required to make this happen.

4:00 PM After an hour of outdoor play we head indoors. La Nina wants to color, so we get the pens. Maggie is getting cranky. She still hasn't napped beyond Target. Mommy starts laundry so La Nina can go to bed tonight.

5:00PM Maggie melts down and goes for her nap. Mommy is convinced Maggie will be awake until mid-night. Mommy and La Nina start unpacking Christmas ornaments for the tree. The dog, Pete steals LaNina's favorite bear ornament--meltdown ensues. Mommy rescues bear from a very certain demise and the bear becomes the first ornament on our tree. La Nina stops crying because the bear is now safe.

5:30PM The ornaments are out on the dining room table, time to make dinner. Good news is we have some leftovers. Bad news is Maggie is awake and wailing. Mommy grabs Maggie and starts trouble shooting. Not hungry or wet, must be teething. Administers Tylenol and Baby Mozart, Maggie is back down for her nap by 5:45 and Mommy is back in the kitchen. Mommy decides Maggie's Tylenol looked pretty good to her, medicates herself.

6:00PM Daddy is home, but working. Mommy moves laundry, flips on Dora for La Nina and finishes heating the leftovers.

6:15PM As the family sits down for dinner, Maggie wakes up wailing again. Mommy grabs her and brings her to the table. It seems she is really awake this time. Mommy abandons eating to feed Maggie.

6:45PM Bath time. See previous post for details on bath time antics.

7:30PM Baths are complete. Mommy remakes LaNinas bed with clean laundry. Time for La Nina to get ready for bed, but tonight we want to try to get a Christmas card photo of the girls. SO, we begin trying to pose them. It doesn't work.

7:45PM Mommy starts putting La Nina down. Maggie doesn't even look a little tired. She has some quality time with her beloved Daddy.

8:15PM La Nina is down. Maggie is running around like a banchee.

8:30PM On a lark, I decide to try to put Maggie down. It works! She is down by 8:45pm.

8:45PM-11PM: Must get ready for tomorrow. Clean kitchen, pick up toys, make bottles, then sort Christmas decorations and wrap 5 gifts.

11PM Fall into bed and sleep thinking the tree didn't get decorated, the shopping isn't done, we have no plan on the Christmas cards, but the kids are fed, clean and happy. Isn't that all that matters?

Footnote: It took me 2 days to complete this post. It is about Monday, December 13, but Tuesday, December 14 was remarkably similar except my morning was spent running errands and visting with family, and La Nina slept in her pull-up so there was no load of laundry.

According to La Nina, Maggie is "a silly monkey"

Maggie drivin' in the 'hood

Two Weeks Home and a Visit to the Doctor

Well, the first two weeks at home have flown by. I just don't know where the time goes. In two weeks, Maggie has successfully transitioned to this timezone, convinced me she doesn't need to sleep in a crib and refused all fluids but formula. We have had quite a first two weeks.

Other accomplishments of note from our little tiger:

• Maggie climbed out of her stroller with a fastened 5 point harness. It was a little loose, but it was quite a stunt.
  
• Maggie completed Project Daddy Love Phase 1 and now runs to get hugs from her dad whenever she sees him. The next phase of Project Daddy Love is now beginning. This is the phase where Daddy starts changing diapers.
  
• Maggie is able to effectively communicate a number of messages to Mom including tired, hungry and wet. I just about always know what is wrong with her unless La Nina is involved.
  
• Maggie continues her domination of La Nina in the bathtub.
  
• Maggie decided the dogs are pretty funny and enjoys feeding them from her chair.
  

Areas we are working on:

• As confirmed by the doctor today, she needs to gain some weight. We will try to get her to eat more which should be quite an amusing undertaking given her spirited resistance to my past efforts. This will be a topic of future blogs, trust me.
• We need to move her from sleeping on the futon to sleeping in a toddler bed. At think at this point, the crib is out of the question. She is just too frightened by the crib and I like my sleep too much to let her battle her demons out at night. But, that means someone actually has to get to the store and buy another toddler bed. Somehow, this time of year, this just isn't a huge priority.
  
• We will need to get all of her blood tests completed soon. This will probably be harder on the lab techs who have to hold Maggie down than it will be on Maggie. I dread these tests. Given that she has been in an institution, they will draw a lot of blood. It is tough to watch, but must be done.
  

Biggest Discovery in the Last Two Weeks:

• Maggie is, by far, the noisiest Nostrand in this house. It isn't even close. If Maggie is awake, she is making noise. Babbling or squealing or crying or laughing, it matters not to her as long as it is at full volume.
  
• I saved a lot of great clothes from La Nina. Maggie is so much smaller than La Nina that the seasonal misalignment of their birthdays isn't going to be a problem. It is so much fun to revisit some of those adorable outfits. I vow to have Maggie wear these items more often.
• Maggie is very active. Again, confirmed by our very amused doctor today, who asked if she was always so active several times. Actually, we thought she was quite calm in his office. He did offer hope that perhaps she was just rebounding from her months of limited activity and that her energy level would even out. I hope he wasn't just being kind.

When we think about the terrified baby who was handed to us on November 15, it is hard to believe she is the same child. The transformation is amazing. I wonder what the next several weeks will reveal about our little one.

The girls nap hard after Christmas shopping with mom. Visions of sugar plums...

Maggie reacts to the Giants signing of Omar Visquel

Dad and Maggie are fast becoming good buddies!

A Long Overdue Rant

Something has been bothering me for a week now and I just need to get this off of my chest. It is the Oprah show on the situation of girls in China.

For those who missed the show, Oprah did a show last Thursday on abandoned and abused children in Africa and China. We Tivo'd it, so I skipped the Africa segment, but I was so disappointed with the way Oprah handled the China segment. Oprah led off the China segment with scenes from a BBC documentary shot in the mid-1990's, called "The Dying Room." This documentary showed deplorable conditions in Chinese orphanages. The BBC reporters who shot this did so undercover and the scenes they captured humilitated the Chinese government, forcing major reforms in the SWI. The second part of the Oprah segment on China focused on the recent Lisa Ling, National Geographic Extreme Explorer, China's Lost Girls. Lisa Ling was the guest and she candidly discussed her experiences traveling with an adoption group, visiting an orphanage and researching the one child policy in China. To me, the time seemed slanted toward the older footage, but my perception is probably skewed.

I am bothered by Oprah's show because people are going to see the very sensationalized scenes from "The Dying Room" and believe that is the current conditions of orphanages in China. Those conditions did exist at one time. There is no denying that fact. However, Oprah neglected to clearly state, illustrate or even address the reforms that have taken place since that documentary was aired. After a commercial, Lisa Ling led off her segment stating that China has vastly improved conditions in its orphanages, but Lisa Ling's segment focused more on adoption. The show left unanswered the current conditions in Chinese orphanages and I doubt Lisa Ling's comments regarding reform were heard. After seeing the show, I felt Oprah missed an incredibly positive aspect of the story to focus on old news because it made a better, more emotional story. Shame on her!

I have been to both La Nina's and Maggie's orphanages and I saw nothing like the scenes I saw on Oprah. Did their orphanages meet US standards? No, they didn't. However, the institutes that cared for my girls weren't dark, Oliver Twist-like places. The orphanages were clean and the staff was efficient. In both cases, the orphanages had activity rooms and sleeping quarters that were obviously well used. Each orphanage had its strengths and weaknesses. I walked away from both orphanages thinking the staff was doing the best they could for their charges. I walked away thinking both of my girls had at least one person who took an interest in them. And I walked away thinking "Thank Goodness I got my baby out of there". But I didn't walk away thinking children were neglected, abandoned or abused in either place. To see orphanages in China represented so poorly in the US mass media by an icon like Oprah was really disappointing.

Ultimately, I pray segments like Oprah's don't scare prospective parents and keep them from pursuing Chinese adoption. I hope people remember the success stories rarely get told because there is no story to tell.

If you want to see a great show on the situation in China, I recommend the Lisa Ling, National Geographic Extreme Explorer. It was a very fair handling of the topic. If the Oprah program reruns, I wouldn't bother watching it. It wasn't worth the time. And if you work with me, you may officially abuse me for watching Oprah!

Sisters will be Sisters!

I have to share that my favorite time these days is bath time. It is perhaps the time the girls show off their true personalities the best.

La Nina likes to take her bath to Princess Music- a CD of Disney songs by assorted Princesses. She likes me to rinse her hair carefully as she despises getting water in her eyes. After a bath, she likes to cuddle, wrapped in a towel. For La Nina the bath is about peace and tranquility before bed.

Unfortunately for La Nina, Maggie's approach to bath time is entirely different.

I don't think Maggie had many true baths prior to joining our family, so baths are a big treat for her. She approaches them with shear exuberance. She loves splashing and squealing with joy. Frankly, she is a little hard to bathe, because the tub makes her so active and she is so noisy she drowns out the princess music with her squeals.

I am sure you can picture the scene: Maggie splashing and squealing like a banchee. La Nina cowering in a corner of the tub, crying she has water in her eyes. After a wipe down, La Nina will try to fight back by dumping water on Maggie's head. This only makes Maggie splash more and La Nina cry louder. I have to admit, I choke back laughter the entire time the two are in the tub together. Maggie is out of control with joy, La Nina angrily complaining she can't hear her music.

And so goes the story of sisters. One joyful to the point of annoying the other. I am sure this scene will play out in many venues of their lives, the roles will be reversed and they will both learn to cope. I am so glad I have a front row seat. I just wish Maggie would keep the water in the tub...

Wait A Minute, This 2 Kid Thing is Tough!

Scene from the Household Tonight:

The Problem: A tired Mom and Dad trying to put down two kids. Both children are over tired from a big day. Neither child wishes to cooperate. Smaller child is still afraid of crib, but will sleep through the night on a futon as long as not alone in the room when she falls asleep. Bigger child must be in bed by 8pm with three Dora stories read to completion, including voices, or a series of potty runs will begin.

The MeltDown: Tired Dad finishes third Dora story and mistakenly thinks tired larger child is ready to sleep. Tired child thinks otherwise and begins calling tired Mom. Tired Mom, thinking smaller child is asleep, goes to larger child, thinking she only needs a kiss. Larger child wants more stories. Smaller child awakens when larger child begins to wail for more stories. Smaller child only has one wailing volume and trust me on this, it is LOUD. This inspires larger child to wail louder in order to compete with younger sibling. Now, tired Dad comes back, thinking there is a home invasion robbery underway, only to find tired Mom standing between two bedrooms, not exactly sure which room she wants to enter, but quite certain she wants to enter neither.

The Solution: Tired Mom calms small child as she is still a little unsure of tired Dad when she needs comforting. Tired Dad reads larger child another Dora story. Thirty minutes later, all is quiet.

What have we gotten ourselves into?

Out on the town for the holiday parade with our new Maggie-and-Carly-size double-wide. Thanks Anqing sisters!

The Conversation

To the best of my recollection, here is the conversation La Nina and I had this AM:

La Nina: "Mommy, who is Maggie's Mommy?"

Me: "Honey, I am Maggie's Mommy. We adopted her from China just like you."

La Nina: "But who is Maggie's Daddy?"

Me: "Well, Maggie's Daddy is your Daddy. When we adopted her, it meant we would be her Mommy and Daddy forever."

La Nina: "But where does Maggie live?"

Me: "Here with us. We are her family."

La Nina: "But Mommy, Maggie lives in China. When will she go home?"

Me: "No, honey. Maggie lives with us now. She doesn't live in China anymore."

La Nina: "why"

Repeat the above lines 5 times and you will get the idea of my morning. La Nina has figured out the baby might be staying, and I don't think she is happy about it. However, regardless of her feelings, she has been the best big sister. She has been patient and kind. She shares to the best of her abilities and she even seems to understand that Maggie needs a little more attention these days.

In some ways, it breaks my heart. I love La Nina so much and I hate to see her so confused and hurt. And I miss her. I miss our exclusive relationship, but I also know that I want to have more than one child, so this is reality. We all survive siblings and I know she will survive Maggie's arrival. And learn the life lessons only siblings can teach.

Back almost a Week!

Where does the time go? It seems just yesterday we were handed a terrified little girl. Today, not ever 3 weeks later, she is a different kid. Here is a brief update on the entire family:

Maggie: Maggie continues to blossom before our eyes. She is a very happy kid, who loves her new home. She enjoys running around with her big sister, rummaging through cabinets and playing with toys. Gone are all her eating issues. The only hurdle we still need to overcome is her fear of the crib. Considering all the changes she has successfully handled to date, there is plenty of time to work on this one. The one thing that has surprised us at home is how active she is. In China, I guess she never had the chance. Now that she is home, she is a nut. If she is awake and not eating, she is in motion.

La Nina: La Nina is fast becoming a great big sister. Yes, there have been some adjustment issues, but she enjoys Maggie and even asked to take Maggie to school to meet her teachers. She has taught Maggie to squeal with delight while playing chase. What a joyful sound they make together! La Nina is exceptionally kind and gentle with Maggie, and we are very proud of how well she is handling this change.

Maggie's Dad: Project Daddy Love is proving very successful. Daddy is now able to hold Maggie and even feed Maggie when Mom can't. (La Nina has been quite concerned about Dad's qualifications for the feeding task.) Maggie now seeks out Daddy for playtime and we both think we have heard her call him by name. Maggie's Dad is just about over the jet lag and proudly showing off pictures at the Hop Yards as I type this.

Maggie's Mom: Now that Maggie's Dad is allowed to help, things are much better for me too. I am quickly adjusting to life with two kids and really enjoying both my girls. I haven't read a book recently, but I am remembering to brush my teeth which didn't happen when we came home with La Nina. I, too, am slowly recovering from jet lag, and now that Maggie is mostly sleeping through the night, I feel much better.

Pete and Hops: The poor dogs! Maggie was terrified of them at first. However, Maggie and Mom take Pete for daily walks and she now finds him very intriguing. She still doesn't like him or Hops to kiss her, but you can tell she is more comfortable around them than at first. The dogs are especially happy to have a new food dropper in the house and enjoy very much the task of cleaning the floor.

I think that is it. We are adjusting and really enjoying the girls. Amazing that we have two little ones running around now!

Daddy's girls!

The new sisters get chummy at home 

Maggie and Carly meet face to face for the first time at SFO